to be absolutely fucking terrified?

[PereyButton]

I've posted twice already over the past few and will continue to do so until we get our results. Apologies if the serial posting is annoying however I'm in turmoil and find that mn support helps me through.

I'm due an amnio tomorrow. I'm absolutely terrified. Partly because of the miscarriage risk, partly because of the risk of illness in our baby. Partly because I don't know how I'm going to function with a three week wait for the results.

DSD is here at the weekend and she's baby obsessed. She normally sits with her hand on my belly, talks to her brother/sister, asks lots of questions. I just don't want to hear it, and can't stand the idea of potentially having to tell her we aren't having a baby any more (worst case scenario).

AIBU to not know what to do? I'm completely lost. I'm still working and can't focus. I'm catastrophising everything. How can I cope? I've had miscarriages in the past and have convinced myself that I am just not meant to have children. How do I get through the next few weeks?

We had a similar thing with DS3. Went for 20 wk scan and told all looked ok but because he was sitting on his arse with his feet up (nothing changed there), we were told to come back at 24 wks so they could check again as there was an area of his spine they couldn't see.

So we went back again at 24 wks and spine checked out ok but he was still breech with legs extended so we went back again at 34 weeks. A couple of days beforehand I knew he had finally turned so I went to the scan just expecting an extra view of the baby.

However, the consultant was concerned about a big blank area, thought it was a problem with liver so we were sent to large regional hospital for detailed scans and tests. Turned out liver ok but big gap in bowels it appeared. So they did all sorts of tests within the scan itself. Tested our bloods for the main CF genes. We got the results on the day, not carriers so we were reassured it was very unlikely to be CF.

Told it might be bowel atresia so baby was whisked away at birth for scans before I could feed him. Turned out to be a colossal amount of wind and everything was ok.

I do so feel for you. I remember so many people, including our midwife saying that they were sure that it would be ok. Of course in our case it was but at the time I kept wanting to scream at them "you don't know that".

Best wishes for everything x

@PereyButton
You’re a poor wee soul. I really feel for you. I’ve been there or thereabouts (DD2 has disabilities, when I was expecting DD3 the health care people really got me wound up, but DD3 is absolutely fine).

To hell with the ironing, cleaning etc. (Tho maybe clean the toilet - but I’m really fussy about toilets!). If your husband needs a shirt ironed for work he can do it himself.

Just make sure you get nourishing food and stay hydrated. MN is as good a distraction as any to keep your mind off things. Have you read “sex in a hedge” or “oooh I got an anonymous letter”? They’re both really great threads. I was pissing myself laughing earlier on . They’d keep you amused for a while.

Every day you get through is one less day to wait. Good luck.

My eldest had echogenic bowel (amongst other issues). Felt very pressurised to go forward with an amnio as soon as possible. I declined after speaking to the fetal medicine consultant who said an amnio could be performed later when the only risk was premature birth at a gestation with high survival rates. Perhaps you can hold of a little longer to give yourself some time to think.

What I was wondering is whether the lab would grow the cells, whilst waiting to see what the bloods show. So it might be the amino is never even needed if the bloods show you aren’t carriers.

On the other hand, later amino samples are less likely to grow in the lab, so you might not get a result.

I would want to discuss it with the doctors, I’d even ask whether they have talked to the lab. I would want to know I was taking making an informed choice, but that’s me.

Hope it goes ok, sounds like a really anxious time for you.

I think your best option is to repeat in your head now: worrying won't change anything. Worrying won't change anything. Worrying won't change anything. And just get on with life.

Worrying won't make a bad result good, and it won't make a good result bad. The result already exists; you just don't know what it is yet.

Good luck, OP. I wish you the best in your testing ... and remember, you can't change anything through worrying.

Just to say I've been there and it's goddamn awful.
One breath at a time. Go easy on yourself.

Blessings OP. I hope all proves to be well.

I too have been there and the wait was dreadful. I actually refused pre natal testing for my second baby as I couldn't face the risk of putting myself through it again.

Thanks everyone for your responses. I've read them all and am finding them to be a great comfort. Less than 24 hours to go. Why am I so scared? I'm sure I'll be frantically mning tomorrow. And breathe...

I had an amino. It wasn't as bad as I feared. I stayed in bed the next day. The staff were lovely.

I commented on your other post.
I’ve had 6 cvs and 1 amnio and the waiting for the results are in my opinion worse than the actual amnio test.
My test was for another genetic condition.
You have to rest and take care of yourself after the test.
I’ve never waited anywhere near 3 weeks for the result.
You should meet a genetisist before your test to go through what will happen and I had to sign consent forms.
I had mine all done at St George’s fetal medicine unit and they were very kind and explained everything every time I had to have a test.
Good luck op

We are all with you Perey. Hundreds of hand holds.

Just another post to say I'll be thinking of you with fingers crossed tomorrow. At my son's 20 week scan there was an anomaly with the ventricles in his brain. We had to have repeat scans and we also opted for the harmony rather than amnio. The ventricles remained enlarged but didn't worsen so we continued on and all turned out well - scan after delivery revealed all fine. So not quite the same situation as you but I think I also echo what someone said up thread about modern scans almost showing too much that turns out to be normal pathology in the long run. Anyway, hope all turns out well.

Hi, i used to work in an NHS genetics lab. The 3 weeks is a maximum turnaround time so hopefully you will get your results quicker that that.

Thank you everyone.

Absolutely cacking myself...

Cacking my pants today..

Can I ask how long it took those who had amnio to receive their results?

We were told our initial chromosome check would take about 3 days and the full microarray about a fortnight. In the end the chromosome check was reported the day after the procedure and the microarray took about 10 days.

Good luck today

Thank you @CyclingFanGirl - I have a feeling the wait will be the worst bit... x

Yes, the amnio itself was surprisingly painless and a bit of a non-event. The waiting afterwards is definitely the worst bit, but will hopefully give you peace of mind when it's over.

Thinking of you today!

Why arent you just paying for the NIPT blood test instead of the Amnio? It will tell you everything the Amnio does.

@RomeoBunny actually, it won't. RTFT to answer your first question.

Thank you @Offerdecisionneeded x

Thinking of you. I had an amnio a few years ago and the initial results were back in a few days. Hopefully you will get a similar turn around.

Also the mc rate is based on the person carrying out the procedure and is usually a lot less then 1% so try not to worry. I would take it very easy for a day or two afterwards. I had complete bed rest the day of the procedure and the day afterwards.

We had to have CVS testing done because of a genetic condition my husband has. The waiting was hell but it wasn't as long as they said it could be. Was about 9 days vs the 2 or 3 weeks they predicted.

I was really scared too for most of the same reasons.

I hope everything goes well for you.

Thanks both. I'd be a wreck without mn!