AIBU. Prom after party, finish time, venue, transport and general ?

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I’ve paid for the prom dress and everything that goes with it. Personally, IMO it’s all very over the top but I’ve gone with it and hope DD has an amazing time.

This week I saw a post on a local Fb page posted by one of DDs friends begging for a field, barn, area to hold an after party, no one answered but now they have a venue and everything in place for an after party £20 per head 11.30pm through to 4.30am!

I’m obviously the only parent here to question the whole idea of this after party. AIBU to think it’s all U?

There is always an after party, they usually end about 5am.

It depends.
After Y13 prom: YABU; they are adults - let them get on with it.
After Y11 prom: that sounds too long. DS1 and his friends went to an after-party for a bit, but he was home by 1am.
After Y6 prom: obviously YANBU.

I must be very out of touch then. DD is leaving here in a V expensive (for me) dress and wanting to come home and change before jumping on a train to the after party. It’s very much past my bedtime and I used to be able to rave all night!

Y11 prom

I am expecting to pick DS2 up from the prom and him get changed and be dropping him somewhere after that.

It's all costing a fortune. Suit, limo and prom ticket etc.

DS1 also changed, because the after-party was in a field and he didn't want his suit to get wrecked. The difference between Y13 prom after-party and Y11 prom after-party is the element of under-age drinking.

DD isn't going to the after party of her Year 11 prom but that's for health reasons (and also the fact that she's not really a party person anyway )

If she wants to go I'd say YABU. She can always call you if she gets tired before its over.

There's an after prom party for my DD's Yr 11 prom. Luckily (for me!) DD has something on the next day and so is reluctantly giving it a miss, but it does seem to be the done thing that there's something going on after prom.

Every prom has an after party. Its a rite of passage. My 3 girls all went to one. One was actually 18, other two a couple of months off. Its the last night to celebrate the fact they are leaving school with all their friends.
It was usually in someone's house though and I knew where they were. No barns involved.

That seems very late to me and I’m only 25! After my yr11 prom we went to a friends for our ‘after-party’ and stayed over. I wouldn’t have been allowed out until that time even after prom. Do they expect you to pick them up after?! They may not have school but I’m assuming you have work the next day!

Ah well we are in Scotland so prom year is 17/18. Wouldnt allow it younger than that.

£20 a head! Wow that sounds a lot - what does it cover? They'll have already eaten at the prom so presumably it's just booze? I think mine just went back to one of their houses and supplied their own booze. Sounds a bit OTT to me. And how do they get home at 4.30? At least if it's at a home they all just crash there.

Our year 11 after prom was held in a barn in the next village. Was picked up by about 2am but others stayed until morning... lots of fun for everyone and can’t see a reason to object really

Mine has just had her after party at ours.
We checked in to a friends for the night.....

All good this morning and now out at a concert.
Oh to be young and have the energy.
She went to bed at 5am slept all day and is up for more. I say enjoy. They all worked so hard for GCSEs

SuzanneLinder
End of Y13: most of them will be 18, a few will be 17.
End of Y11: most of them will be 16, a few will be 15.

I think after parties are pretty much the norm, although neither of my DS paid to go. DS1, a crowd of them pitched a big tent in someone's garden. I think they all crashed about 5am. DS2 has his prom last year. They came home to get changed and collect alcohol and all went off to a field somewhere. Went for McDonalds breakfast at 6, then home to sleep it off.

Neither of mine went to an 'after prom' at Yr 11. Nor the experience of other DNs, God children, dc of friends either, so I don't think it is 'standard' - well, I know it isn't.

After Yr13 - they are (mostly) 18, so different, but Idon't think it is usual for 16 (and 15) yr olds.

dd had 2 friends back to sleep here. But that is actually what they did - went to sleep.

Hope they’ve got a license and have cleared it with the council!

The after party is normally close friends at someone’s house. This has ‘will get out of hand’ written all over it. How will the tickets be policed? What will they do if non-school people turn up and demand entry (has happened at many house parties round here). If it’s a train ride away how’s she getting home.

If she’s only 16 I’d say 4.30am is too late.

Sorry I meant SusanneLinder

We didn’t allow after parties in year 11. They are 15 year old children and a midnight finish with a few glasses of fizz is sufficient. Personally, I thin the idea of a hundred drunken children in a field is a recipe for disaster. We had a dozen back for a sleepover with bacon rolls and a couple of drinks but no spirits or drugs. They actually had a better time than those stuck in a cold field watching others vomit.

The after prom parties seemed to fade to nothing before the night at DD's school. There was only one in the end, held by a girl who dd isn't really friends how hard is it for a teacher to ensure a child has adequate clothing on before doing outdoor activities with so she wasn't interested,m. Have to say I was pleased. It was bad enough dh having to do the taxi run at the 11:30pm on a work night to collect / a good half hour away each way. Instead she and three friends came back here. I provided some chocolate snacks and they shared a bottle of champagne which dd had won a few weeks previously. They were all asleep within a couple of hours. They were shattered after prom as it was.

I never went to an after party or my friends. I wouldnt consider letting my child (when she's older) go to one that finishes at that time. Most people went to a friends house or something and had a Smirnoff ice.

My opinion is that's a ridiculous time to end. Its not a rite of passage it's just everyone underage drinking and stuff.
I don't think your being unreasonable. They have all the time in the world to stay out late and drink etc. When they are older (assuming it's a y11 prom)
Maybe I was just bought up strict and no one was bothered about this stuff

I’m hoping the £20 covers transport there and back, security, music system, lights, toilets, refreshments including snacks to soak up the diamond white. It’s been arranged in 1 day so I doubt it...

Best bit is, I’m to PayPal, bank transfer some random stranger the money and hope when DD and friends turn up to said field via train there is something more than just a field there.

Am I mad in thinking DD should just offer a handful of mates our garden for the early hours and warn the neighbours?

Perhaps the £20 each is to pay for security personnel?

Backforgood- “went to sleep” love it. So normal and sweet.