AIBU. Prom after party, finish time, venue, transport and general ?

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I’ve paid for the prom dress and everything that goes with it. Personally, IMO it’s all very over the top but I’ve gone with it and hope DD has an amazing time.

This week I saw a post on a local Fb page posted by one of DDs friends begging for a field, barn, area to hold an after party, no one answered but now they have a venue and everything in place for an after party £20 per head 11.30pm through to 4.30am!

I’m obviously the only parent here to question the whole idea of this after party. AIBU to think it’s all U?

No after parties here thank god. Some of her friends are still 15!

The ones who aren't going to prom are getting drunk behind Asda's. DD is not joining them thank goodness.

Well our “prom” “after party” (they called it a leavers disco and we didn’t wear ball gowns and our chemistry teacher made the buffet!) 16 years ago was a tent in a mates garden with much illegally procured booze, but same idea. I’m a teacher now and our kids do the same sort of thing, always at someone’s house. It’s a rite of passage. But I wouldn’t be happy about one at an unpoliced location, in someone’s house is fine, in a barn not so much.

I would definitely want to know more about it before agreeing! And I was a long way from being a worrier when mine were teenagers.

Why on earth have they chosen a venue a train ride away (unless you live a long way from other people attending and it's convenient for them?)

Its not a rite of passage it's just everyone underage drinking and stuff.
If you read my post further down, I thought we were talking about 17/18 year olds, the only ones that get a prom up here. I already said I wouldnt allow it for younger than that. And as I have just found out it is 15/16 year olds, the answer would be no!

My ds skipped all prom / end of school activities completely (different educational system with no GCSE equivalent). The official 'dry' party had the police called because of drunkeness and a fight so no regrets there. dd only went to the official ceremony and meal/dance, and rang to come home at 11 as she was tired. There was a party afterward and one the next day, that one had the police come shut it down at 10.30! Where we live the finish school at 17/18 and it's illegal to drink until you are 19 so in theory the parties shouldn't turn into drunken brawls, but in practice things seem to go wrong all too often.

Big after party after my DDs prom but it was held in a parents back garden. Most slept over in a marquee which I was a bit concerned about but it is the start of letting them go and hopefully make the right decisions re: booze, sex, drugs. You can't lock them up.

Our prom is in someones barn. Most of the Yr 11 leavers are going, and they've paid £20 each.

The parents organised it, and it does cover alcohol, DJ, lights etc. This is our 6th, and the first one they've demanded letters from parents allowing them to drink, however I'm not sure how they'll police that in truth. The DJ runs til 4am, when the kids can be collected or crash in the barn.

My delightful 16 yr old won't be going because she's 16 weeks pregnant and doesn't want to be bumped by lots 'of drunken idiots'. NOW she chooses to be sensible?!?

Yes, we had that. Dd didn't have a really expensive dress and her dad drove her. Spent ages getting ready. Came home got changed and went to a party in a field. I believe it was light when she came in.

Signed letters from parents allowing their underage kids get pissed in a barn?

What the fuck is up with this generation. I'm off.

Loving the assumption everyone will be 'getting pissed'.

Seems pretty unlikely there is going to be any security or licence or anything at a party arranged hastily in one day.
My dcs wouldn't be going.

Getting pissed equals sharing a bottle of echo falls with her friend for DD.

She asked if they could open a bottle of my presecco whilst getting ready (it was a good bye gift from work) I don’t drink presecco but it’s still a no because it’s a no to pre party pre party drinks.

@Rachie1973

Whilst not ideal, at 16, to be pregnant, your daughter is obviously taking her responsibility seriously already

When I was pg with DS a few years ago- at 28- I was clubbing (dry!) in East London at 6 months ... I made sure to keep off the dancefloor and sat chatting mostly, but I can’t say I was as sensible as your DD

((I’ve grown up a lot since then, I have to say))

Offering your garden and a big tent seems a lot more sensible! I’m guessing it will (hopefully) be one of the first times they are properly drinking alcohol and will probably appreciate the home comfort!

It’s does sound ideal Plum but it also has a mass chance of going very wrong:

I have younger children here, I Have a rescue dog, I can’t see how I could control who anyone let in through the garden gate if I or DD wasn’t standing near it, I like my house, I love my sleep at the weekend instead of getting up for work and I want to remain friends with my neighbours...

I hope they have permission to use these fields/barns and won’t be leaving bottles and other rubbish there

Went to school in Ireland we had a Debs which finished at two. Then night club till 4 and after party finished about 6pm at some one house.

My DDs after prom is in a field and they’re sleeping over at a friends guessing will finish at 2 or 3. Y11

I feel like an old fuddy for saying this but does anyone not long for the days when you had the occasional school disco? In the hall with one of the teachers as the dj, a small area to buy some crisps and a can of pop. And everyone back home by 10.30 at the latest?!

Back in my day (I'm only 38!) the 6th formers had a formal dinner in the local posh hotel I guess, but that was it. No expensive outfits, hairdo and make up, transport, pre party, after party etc. And it seems to be any occasion going for another prom and more £££. I dread to think what it will be in years to come, DD is only a baby!

takes fuddy duddy hat off

My DD isn't going to her Yr 13 prom as she said that it's just a very expensive meal out really, but she is going to the after party!

Drunken 15 yo’s out until 5am. Would be a no frome!

The whole idea of 'prom' is just ridiculous. Limos? Expensive dresses? FML... when I left school we had a dance in the hall, a buffet and absolutely no alcohol. The 'afterparty' was a few folk going into town to try to get into a club.

Or from me, even in frome

When I left school we had nothing.

And before I had teenagers I was very 🙄about the idea of a prom.

But seeing the DSs all dressed up in their suits and seeing how much they look forward to it after all the revision and exams it's lovely.