To ask you about the good parts of having children?

[ValidUser]

Name changed because some people from work know my usual name and don't want to share my family planning details with them. DP (soon to be DH) and I are planning to TTC from September.

I'm very excited and just wanted to ask about the nice parts of parenting.

Please indulge me. Or throw buns.

And another thing you realise (my kids are 20, 18, 13 and 5). It never stops. The burst of pride you get when you think your heart will explode, the laughter. The kisses and the unconditional love. It doesn't stop. I was so scared of my kids growing up and leaving me. But although the dynamics have changed. The love and fun hasn't.

My kids are older 11 and 15. They're actually the nicest people I ever met - seriously - and they're in MY family. I feel lucky every single day to have them in my life.

They are so funny. And they jump out of bed so happy to just be alive and enjoy all the fun that the day will bring (the young ones that is!). They love you so utterly that they try to hug you to death regularly. Their development is fascinating and the sense of pride you and they get when they master something new is phenomenal.

Eventually, they get old enough to make cups of tea for you. Or cook for you. Even their Kevin the Teenager sulking is hilarious as long as you don't take it personally. And their jokes get even funnier as they get older.

When your sons get married and make a speech, and they turn to you and say ‘Now, to my Mum and Dad...’ and they tell you just what you mean to them and you cry and cry and cry. And the photos are awful because no mother of the groom looks good like that. And you never thought they thought those things.

@Matilda15 - your son sounds like an incredible boy. I wish him all the best, you must be very proud of him.

For me its been the fact that they are born a completely blank canvas -their brains literally know nothing but how to eat and poop. Watching that evolve over the last 2.5 years, seeing his wonder at new things we take for granted every day is just fantastic. How much he has learned in that time astounds me. I dont know any other time in life you'll learn so much in such a short period!

Watching them forge their way in the world and seeing the adults they have become. The circle of life.

They put everything else in perspective - nothing is as important as them so it has certainly made me less fearful of anything else. My career has skyrocketed since I had children. They bring so much joy to the house so much laughter, the only downside is the relentless exhaustion but I have had two non sleepers and haven’t had a full nights sleep in over 4 yrs!

Crazy babbling, baby smell, cuddles, sloppy kisses, singing, the look of wonder at new things and the sheer joy of the world to them 😍

Each stage has had different moments I've cherished. Now my DC's are a bit older I love picking them up from school and the drive home. They tell me all about their day, the good and the bad and my ds in particular said he can't wait to talk to me especially if he's had a bad day. It feels like really special times that I I know I should make the most of.

When after ten years of sleep deprivation you wake up at 9am on a Sunday and realise no one has woken you up

My 10 wk old is in my arms staring at my face like I am the most important person in the world.
I love the life that comes with children ( I have 3yodd too) Christmas, Halloween, Easter, birthdays etc become a rerun of your own childhood experiences. Days are spent at the park, seaside anywhere to wear them out!
it’s not all sunshine and roses and somedays are hard and you will look back on your prebaby freedom wistfully but for me it’s the most content time of my life so far.
Good luck ttc op.

I had a terrible time when my daughter was a baby and didn’t enjoy any of it, but the toddler stage has been brilliant and at 3.5 she’s clever and hilarious and very affectionate. I love that she is interested in everything and everyone and seeing how proud she is when she masters something new. Best thing ever is eavesdropping on her conversations with her pals the same age as it gives such an insight into their little brains and the things that are important to them. She’s just so awesome.

PomBear my experience is very very different to yours, I’m happy to say.

My 11mo it's super active and is always trying to wriggle free out of my arms. This afternoon he crawled over to me into my arms and laid his little head on my shoulder for a few minutes. My heart just burst at receiving my first cuddle from him.

Watching him soak up information and learn new things (latest is how to hammer a ball through a hole, also attempting to stand!) is amazing. I'm a little nostalgic for the newborn days but he is so much more interesting now!

Pombears right in some ways. I didn't realise quite how much a child can take over your life. The only films we see at the cinema now are 12A or down (DS is now 11) unless we plan ahead and make sure there's a babysitter. Holidays haven't meant lounging on a beach or watching a late night show in a resort for years! We have holidays to suit school time (obviously) and that's expensive plus you have to put up with other peoples kids (who are never as well behaved as yours - that is an unwritten rule ) You get to know every line in every Thomas the Tank engine/Mr Men/insert your child's favourite book - DS was on 6 a night when he was younger (addicted to Mr Tickle).

But my God I'll miss all that when he flies the nest. He's my little buddy, my mini me, my favourite comedian. He's cleverer than me - he soaks stuff up like a sponge. He's helpful and caring...he's also lazy, argumentative, flips moods like a switch and is totally wonderful.

I've enjoyed (almost) every moment of his life so far (he has a congenital heart defect so that is something I'd change if I could and I wasn't very keen on the 4am 'here I am mum, let's start the day' as he became a toddler but the rest has been pretty good actually). My friends seem to go into mourning as their children grow but I love meeting the new DS as he grows up. I get really excited as his birthday approaches because it seems to move him up a little more and a different person begins to emerge.

So no, having kids is not all moonlight and roses. Being a parent can be hard work (it is hard work let's not beat about the bush), it can have you in tears of joy and tears of frustration or anger. But if someone said you can have your (relatively) care free, easy going pre-DS life back, I'd have to say no thanks. Warts and all, he's our boy. He always will be.

I've struggled with motherhood in lots of ways but it is a love that i could not have imagined, and the fact that no one will ever love you, hang on your every word / limb like they do. Irritating as fuck 85% of the time but that 15% of the time is pretty awesome. My 4yo kissed me while chewing a bogey yesterday and I didn't mind. I mean, seriously, who else would I do that for?!

I agree about toddlers' chubby little legs (on the first page). And so much more that has been mentioned here.

But the best thing is when they are old enough to pass their test and pick you up from the pub. Oh and stock your tent with beer at Glastonbury ready for your arrival (my daughter was working there).

Grown up kids are great too!

Aw I've enjoyed reading these!
I can't wait until 4pm rolls around (and I love my job) and I can pick up my 18mo from nursery, her little face when she sees me just makes everything else so insignificant!

The wrap their arms around your neck like they will strangle you cuddles, they are the best
Watching them learn, counting, recognising words etc
Then showing you what is fun, my toddler is excited when I let her go a bit further away from me now, and is super excited to ran back and say I did it.

I could go on forever...

We've had a rough time potty training my eldest and I could burst with pride when I pick her up from preschool and she tells me she's had 'no accidents'. She is so pleased with herself.

My youngest is like royalty. He sits in his pushchair waving at passers by and pointing at things and people. He makes friends wherever we go.

Feeling like total shit, having had a horrible day wanting to jump off a cliff kind of thing, believing you're the absolute worst mum in the world and then, when you put your 3 year old to bed and you snuggle up and pretend to sleep with them, they think you're asleep then you hear a little voice say "I love you mummy"

Cuddles.
When they say they love you. 😍

I swear I have never seen anything as beautiful as my children. They are genuinely the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I can’t take my eyes off them.

apart from when they were born. It looked like a goblin had made love to a potato for those first few hours

Watching them learn and feeling so proud when they put into practice what you've taught them.
Unconditional love. There's nothing like it.

Everything is an achievement for them, and the pride you feel having witnessed something as mundane as them learning to take their own coat off, or using a spoon to eat a yoghurt. How their brains just absorb everything, and then regurgitate it in their own way.

How you are so hugely important to them, and vice versa, and when you've had a day of screaming and whining and noise and general disobedience, they drop off to sleep at bedtime and you go in and check they're still breathing (does this ever stop?!) and your heart just bursts with love at the tiny, snoring, whirlwind hurricane you created.

They're hilarious, and creative, and imaginative and little buggers, they will absolutely push your buttons and you will be exhausted but it's the best fun and the most important thing I'll ever do.