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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that school should consider waiving this fee?

83 replies

GirlInterruptedOftenByKids · 22/06/2018 16:31

Long story but I'll try to make it short!

I damaged my leg last week and have been hobbling about all week. Pain is getting worse and each night the affected area is red and swollen so I decided to see the GP this morning. He gave me a stern telling off for doing the school run, going to work etc and said I needed to rest for 24-48 hours straight. This was about 10:30 this morning so I reckoned with a few tweaks to my day I could manage 24 hours just about.

Went home, worked from home for 4 hours (my normal working day) and msged a neighbour to ask her to get the kids. Called school and told them who was picking up, passwords etc. Thought no more of it until the kids were due home and hadn't arrived. Then school called to say that my friend had forgotten to pick them up, had turned round and got them but that my kids had gone into the After School Club and so either she or I would have to pay £10 for the club (£5 per child)

Now, I'm prepared to pay as I don't want her to be out of pocket when she's doing me a favour but can't help feeling school are BU. School called at 15:50, by which time the kids had been picked up so they were in the ASC for max 15 mins (teachers take them there at 15:35 if not picked up). It sounds like my message to the office didn't get passed to the teacher, which happened last week as well (dc were due to go to ASC. Dd in Yr1 forgot and her teacher didn't know so she just had to sit there for ages until she remembered).

Also, the dc weren't allowed to do any of the activities at ASC - they had to sit on a bench and wait. So they weren't fed, they weren't using space or resources and they were barely there for any time. Pick up is complete chaos atm as there's a new school building and no real system so I don't blame my friend for forgetting.

So AIBU to think that school might look at this and think - mother who has been told to stay home by doctor, other mother who's only trying to help out...is it worth upsetting both families for the sake of a tenner?

(For info: school converted to an academy two years ago and there's been a marked increase in cash-grabbing since then)

OP posts:

Thehop · 22/06/2018 16:42

Thank you for your invoice.

I must decline payment for the following reasons:

Dc1 and dc2 were not supposed to go to ASC. I asked for them to be collected by neighbour. There was a communications hiccup when this mssage failed to be passed on from the office which resulted in the children being mistakenly taken to ASC.

My children were not part of ASC. They were segregated on a “waiting” bench and not permitted to join in with either snacks, drinks or activities.

I trust. Ow that you’re aware the invoice will be cancelled but please do not hesitate to contact me should you have any queries.

Best regards

Girl interrupted

Myotherusernameisbest · 22/06/2018 16:46

Go with Thehops answer, that sounds perfect.

Also, I'd get a second opinion on your leg. I'd be concerned you have a blood clot there if the pain is getting worse after an injury and is red and swollen.

yanbu to refuse to pay that fee.

Theworldisfullofgs · 22/06/2018 16:49

Is the after school club provided by school. If not the school would have to pay the provider.
If they do provide it, it would be good if they could be flexible given your circumstances.

Original poster

GirlInterruptedOftenByKids · 22/06/2018 17:13

Thanks all! Your answer is pretty perfect Thehop...let's see if I have the balls to send it!

Yes, the school run the ASC. They took it in house to save money and so it's dd's TA that would have been "looking after them"

Doc did say to go to A&E if the leg got worse. He put me on a higher dosage of ibuprofen than I'd been taking and paracetamol as well. But mainly recommended rest, which is tough when you have 2dc and a job!

OP posts:

RedSkyAtNight · 22/06/2018 17:13

The problem is that you might have a one off good reason - but other parents will be persistent offenders. If they are going to charge "late fees" then they can't be seen to charging some people and not others ...

Pengggwn · 22/06/2018 17:18

I think you have to pay it. You made an arrangement, you were let down, but that is not the school's fault. They still had to take responsibility for your children. They charge for that.

Bobbybobbins · 22/06/2018 17:18

It is unfortunate but I would personally pay it this time. Trouble is a large proportion of parents could claim extenuating circumstances.

Hope your leg is better soon.

Timeisslippingaway · 22/06/2018 17:36

If your neighbour let you down then it's not really the schools fault and if your children usually go to asc then they probably just presumed that's what was to happen, however the message shpuld have been passed along and if your children weren't actually allowed to join in the activities at asc then not sure why you should pay for it. If they chose not to join in you should. Tbh for the sake of a tenner I wouldn't bother fighting about it, I would be probably just be glad there was somewhere for my children to wait.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 22/06/2018 17:45

I think you are going to have to pay it. You could try asking them to waive it out of kindness but unless you friend had picked them up by 15.35 then they are just following their late pick up policy.

What does the school policy say about charging for that.

Original poster

GirlInterruptedOftenByKids · 22/06/2018 17:54

I am probably going to pay but it does feel like school are treating parents like a bit of a cash cow in many ways atm! Makes me wonder what they'd do if there was an actual emergency that stopped me picking up the kids (e.g. if I got hit by a car on the way....very likely considering the way some people drive round there)

My kids went to ASC as a one-off last week as I had a course at work. That's when dd was kept in her classroom until (I think ) around the same time as they got picked up today. Can't quite figure out the facts but she said she was in her classroom for a long time before she got taken to ASC and saw ds there or remembered she was going or something...?? (dd is not a reliable witness)

They go to breakfast club every week though and we are good payers so thought we had a decent relationship with them. Ho hum...

OP posts:

RavenWings · 22/06/2018 17:58

I think you should pay it. The kids were in aftercare, they are following their late pick up policy. Your injury/neighbour being confused isn't their fault.

Pengggwn · 22/06/2018 18:02

They aren't treating you as a cash cow. They are charging you according to their policy for a service they provided you with.

PorkFlute · 22/06/2018 18:03

I also think you need to pay it. It’s ultimately your responsibility to collect your child on time or arrange someone reliable to do it. The fact your friend forgot isn’t their fault and if this is the schools policy you need to pay.

Aragog · 22/06/2018 18:04

Our school would definitely overlook this, in these circumstances.
Yes, ASC do charge usually in the case of late pick ups but not usually for a very short one off. It is very different to persistent offenders; yes, they should definitely be charged.

Original poster

GirlInterruptedOftenByKids · 22/06/2018 18:08

Oh, and the office assure me that their teachers were told but ds and friend's ds are in the same class and the teacher said nothing to friend when she picked her ds up so he clearly forgot too. They knew she was meant to be doing it , so they could have phoned her or me as soon as they realised the children had been forgotten instead of waiting till 15:50 and then sniffily telling me we'd been fined.

Friend is staff at the school btw so it's not like she's unknown to them! And she's upset because she felt like they humiliated her when she didn't have the money on her to pay the fine. It's these kind of things that hurt parent-school relations for not a lot of gain. It's not like I'll be making a habit of having enforced rest while school
provide ad hoc childcare!

OP posts:

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 22/06/2018 18:09

It’s between you and your friend (who caused it by forgetting to pick them up!).
The school had little other choice, surely? Of course either you or the one who let you down get to pay.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 22/06/2018 18:11

They humiliated her?? If she’d collected your kids like she promised it wouldn’t have happened.
And now she’s looking for sympathy?

Foslady · 22/06/2018 18:13

Dear school
I am prepared to pay this once but could you explain why if I have to pay the fee my children were made to sit on a bench and not join in with the activities on offer? If they had been able to join in I would feel happy to make the payment but do so begrudgingly this time, especially as this is the first time in all of the years of attendance that this has happened

TroubledLichen · 22/06/2018 18:14

I’m in two minds about this... not the school’s fault that the kid’s weren’t picked so perfectly reasonable to send them to club and charge for it. However, if they are charging you they should have included them in the activities and given them the snack etc, not segerated them from the club. So on that basis I don’t think you should have to pay, as they didn’t go to the club, they just happened to be plonked in the same room. Also I hope your leg gets better.

Original poster

GirlInterruptedOftenByKids · 22/06/2018 18:15

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar she's their colleague so it's not very professional for them to treat her like that. They didn't humiliate ds' teacher, who also forgot.

OP posts:

PorkFlute · 22/06/2018 18:15

I’ve never been reminded to collect a child when I’ve done a favour for a friend.
If they are sent to the ASC at 15:35 when do they finish? 15:15? In which case a staff member has waited with them for 20 mins then the ASC have had them for 15.
Is it really worth quibbling for the sake of £10? I’m sure all parents who don’t collect their children could argue some kind of valid reason.

Original poster

GirlInterruptedOftenByKids · 22/06/2018 18:16

Pengggwn I don't mean just because of this - I mean all the new costs that have sprung up since academization. The ASC itself has doubled in cost since it went inhouse :o

OP posts:

PorkFlute · 22/06/2018 18:16

And I agree with them not being involved in the activities/snack either. The ASC is supposed to be booked in advance and they may not be able to cater for x number of children who turn up unexpectedly.

Pengggwn · 22/06/2018 18:16

Well, it is ad hoc childcare. Sorry, but that is precisely what it was. If you want to keep school-parent relations positive, just pay it.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 22/06/2018 18:16

She’s a teacher? What form did this humiliation take, and by whom?

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