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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that school should consider waiving this fee?

83 replies

GirlInterruptedOftenByKids · 22/06/2018 16:31

Long story but I'll try to make it short!

I damaged my leg last week and have been hobbling about all week. Pain is getting worse and each night the affected area is red and swollen so I decided to see the GP this morning. He gave me a stern telling off for doing the school run, going to work etc and said I needed to rest for 24-48 hours straight. This was about 10:30 this morning so I reckoned with a few tweaks to my day I could manage 24 hours just about.

Went home, worked from home for 4 hours (my normal working day) and msged a neighbour to ask her to get the kids. Called school and told them who was picking up, passwords etc. Thought no more of it until the kids were due home and hadn't arrived. Then school called to say that my friend had forgotten to pick them up, had turned round and got them but that my kids had gone into the After School Club and so either she or I would have to pay £10 for the club (£5 per child)

Now, I'm prepared to pay as I don't want her to be out of pocket when she's doing me a favour but can't help feeling school are BU. School called at 15:50, by which time the kids had been picked up so they were in the ASC for max 15 mins (teachers take them there at 15:35 if not picked up). It sounds like my message to the office didn't get passed to the teacher, which happened last week as well (dc were due to go to ASC. Dd in Yr1 forgot and her teacher didn't know so she just had to sit there for ages until she remembered).

Also, the dc weren't allowed to do any of the activities at ASC - they had to sit on a bench and wait. So they weren't fed, they weren't using space or resources and they were barely there for any time. Pick up is complete chaos atm as there's a new school building and no real system so I don't blame my friend for forgetting.

So AIBU to think that school might look at this and think - mother who has been told to stay home by doctor, other mother who's only trying to help out...is it worth upsetting both families for the sake of a tenner?

(For info: school converted to an academy two years ago and there's been a marked increase in cash-grabbing since then)

OP posts:
Original poster
GirlInterruptedOftenByKids · 22/06/2018 18:17

Totally wrong emoji on that last one Shock is what I was going for. ...

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 22/06/2018 18:17

They can charge what they see fit for the ASC, can't they? Honestly, I see why, from your perspective, it would have been nice for them to waive it, but there is no reason why they must do so.

Original poster
GirlInterruptedOftenByKids · 22/06/2018 18:18

A midday supervisor greyhound. She just said they were rude to her and made her feel really bad for not having the cash on her.

OP posts:
PorkFlute · 22/06/2018 18:18

Also if the other mum came 15mins later had she called to let them know? It may not have been worth dumping coats and bags and starting an activity/snack time if she was turning round to collect them.

Original poster
GirlInterruptedOftenByKids · 22/06/2018 18:20

PorkFlute they finish at 15:30 although they're often out more like 15:25. They were home with me a few mins after the phone call and school is a 10 min walk away so I reckon they were picked up by 15:45

OP posts:
Original poster
GirlInterruptedOftenByKids · 22/06/2018 18:21

Not sure if she'd called. She only got as far as the corner of the street but thanks to the chaos at pickup it might have taken a while to get back into the school (all 600 kids and parents have to squeeze through a narrow pathway and single gate)

OP posts:
SunnyCoco · 22/06/2018 18:24

Sorry I think you need to pay it, it’s not really about the activities IT’s about having your children left with a responsible trained childcare provider

Notsurprisedatall · 22/06/2018 18:27

I wouldn't pay it, they were on a bench!

Lindy2 · 22/06/2018 18:31

You children weren't collected when school finished so the school provided after school care until someone actually turned up to collect them. You now have to pay for the after school care the school provided.
That sounds entirely reasonable to me. Why do you think you shouldn't pay for the care that was provided? It doesn't really matter that it was only from 3.35 to 3.50pm. They were not collected by anyone when school finished.

SmashedMug · 22/06/2018 18:38

Every parent who is late will consider themselves to have a valid reason. They either charge everyone or no one. They chose to charge everyone who is late. You'll look a twat if you send any of the notes recommended on here and you'll still end up having to pay it.

Iceweasel · 22/06/2018 18:39

I wouldn't pay it as they were not allowed access to activities or a snack, which is the expected ASC service.

I don't think that parents should be able to be routinely late to pickup and that children should be able to wait on a bench at ASC for free, I think that after the 'send to ASC' cut off time, children should be treated the same as other ASC children and parents charged.

cheminotte · 22/06/2018 18:41

If your leg is bad, can’t the doctor sign you off sick? Then it’s only children to worry about.

Original poster
GirlInterruptedOftenByKids · 22/06/2018 18:45

cheminotte I probably could get signed off but work have been totally cool about it and were fine with me working from home. It's only school stomping their feet (yet not actually calling me until it was all resolved...)

OP posts:
BoomBoomsCousin · 22/06/2018 18:47

I think the late pick up isn't the school's fault, so you ought to pay. It's not really the teacher's responsibility in the midst of the fast moving end of day, if they fail to remind a parent they are supposed to take another child too. They are set up more to stop a child going with the wrong adult than to push children on to adults who aren't asking for them!

But I'm not so sure about paying the whole amount if your children were not actually allowed to take advantage of the ASC facilities. I'd be inclined to modify Thehop's response and offer a token payment of a couple of quid per child or something. But to be honest, I'm not sure it's worth the hassle if the full 10 isn't problematic for you.

The school's attitude to pulling money out of parents would bother me though and would make me disinclined to contribute to voluntary asks for money.

EduCated · 22/06/2018 18:56

I do think if you’re being asked to pay for ASC, then thy should have been able to participate in the ASC, otherwise it’s just a fine which feels wrong, and which surely must be a bit on dodgy ground.

I do understand it is a pain in the backside for schools, and don’t necessarily disagree with them being taken to the ASC and OP being asked to pay, but think it should be all or nothing, not a weird middle ground of paying for them to sit on a bench.

I would be inclined to pay, but send a message along the lines of Foslady’s.

SoozC · 22/06/2018 19:01

It's not the teacher's responsibility to remind someone about picking up a neighbour's children. Messages about this kind of thing are to inform teachers that someone different is collecting them, that's all. Your friend only had to remember two extra children.

You should pay for the ASC. But I would question what your children were given to eat and what they did. If they have just been sat at the side watching others eat and play, that's not okay. Even last-minute children can be catered for.

PorkFlute · 22/06/2018 19:20

I imagine they don’t let the children take part in the activities as they would then just get parents not bother to book the after school club and just turn up to pick up their children whenever they liked which the ASC won’t want when they need to organise activities, staffing and food in advance.

daisiesinherfootsteps · 22/06/2018 19:22

Yes YABU. Sorry to hear about your problems and hope you get better soon but it's not the school's fault that your arrangements didn't work out and whilst not ideal, they had to keep your child unplanned. Pay, apologise and make sure it doesn't happen again.

EveningHare · 22/06/2018 19:23

Also, the dc weren't allowed to do any of the activities at ASC - they had to sit on a bench and wait. So they weren't fed, they weren't using space or resources and they were barely there for any time.

They cant possibly charge you for this

PorkFlute · 22/06/2018 19:28

Also I book the ASC for times I might be late for pick up from work depending on traffic. Sometimes I get there on time and my kids literally walk in and walk out again. I wouldn’t dream of asking not to pay!

reallybadidea · 22/06/2018 19:32

Honestly, I couldn't be arsed with writing a letter for the sake of £10, particularly if you regularly use the preschool facilities. It's not even £10 if you salary sacrifice it.

Original poster
GirlInterruptedOftenByKids · 22/06/2018 19:49

I imagine they don’t let the children take part in the activities as they would then just get parents not bother to book the after school club and just turn up to pick up their children whenever they liked

It actually makes me less inclined to use the ASC as there wasn't a lot of care and consideration shown to my kids and it really wasn't their fault

I don't think today was the same as me just turning up to pick my kids up whenever I liked....It was an emergency plan (not a true emergency but ykwim) that seemed solid enough when I made it but turned out to have several points of failure, none of which I'm really to blame for.

OP posts:
Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 22/06/2018 19:54

Well, the main (only, actually) “point of failure” is that the friend you trusted to pick them up simply forgot to do so.
This absolutely wasn’t the school’s fault.

Blondebombsite83 · 22/06/2018 19:58

I would pay but I would make a complaint about them not joining in, and I say this as a teacher. We finish at 3.15. We often still have chn at 3.30. We only put them into Asc if they are persistent offenders or parents ring and say they'll be really late. Other wise they wait at the office. 5 minutes grace is ridiculous. Our parents are by no means prompt but we give them a bit more slack than that!

Emily7708 · 22/06/2018 20:00

The school shouldn’t waive the fee.

If I had forgotten an arrangement made only a few hours previously to collect the children of an incapacitated friend I would honestly be so mortified I’d pay the fee myself as an apology. I can’t believe your friend did that, or that for some reason you are blaming the school instead!