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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how the heck schools expect working parents to cope with this?

627 replies

Worriedaboutdog · 21/06/2018 21:56

Apologies this may be a rant. DS1 is due to start school in September. We have therefore put childcare plans in place based on him starting school on the first day of term in September. School have just announced that:

a) reception start a week later
And
b) as a summer birthday, DS actually will do half days for another week after that, and ‘must be picked up at 1.30pm’.

No mention of either of these things was made when we looked round the school. We have already juggled the time off we have available to look after him over the summer. As it happens it’s probably easier for us than most parents as DH is a shift worker so can cover some days, but we were relying on him going to school at the beginning of September, and being in after-school club on days DH isn’t at home until I can get there to pick him up. Wtf are parents who both work Monday-Friday meant to do about two extra weeks?! This was all announced today in a meeting (I couldn’t go, because it was at 3.30pm, but DH did), and when he asked the class teacher if they had to go home at lunchtime or could stay and then go to after school club, she said they had to go home and we’d have to get ‘a grandparent or someone’ to pick them up. So we’ll just magic up a grandparent physically fit and willing enough to do a whole week of half days childcare, who is actually able to drive to the school, then. Hmm

He can possibly go back to his current nursery for the week he isn’t in school at all, but the half days are stumping me. I think I probably am being unreasonable to be cross - I realise school is not designed to be childcare, and therefore not run for the convenience of the parents, BUT they must know that parents make assumptions (based on the information on their website!) about the dates of terms and the length of the school day, and make arrangements accordingly. And that this just isn’t feasible for everyone, and if they don’t bloody tell you about it until June then plans (and budgets) for September childcare are already in place! Argh.

OP posts:
Whatshallidonowpeople · 22/06/2018 07:53

Why should the school care? It's not their concern how you look after the children you chose to have

ZenNudist · 22/06/2018 07:57

We dont do phasing in. Ds was fine, ds2 will also be fine regardless. Currently FT nursery. School day shorter but more tiring. You'd think there needed to be some sort of consistency on this.

NerrSnerr · 22/06/2018 07:57

Things like babysitters.com and childcare one depend on where you live though. I have looked because we don't have any back up from family and the only people listed near us are people offering evening babysitters (usually teenagers who'll be at school/ college during the day) or childminders advertising for a regular arrangement. We're not near a big city so that probably has an impact.

postcardsfrom · 22/06/2018 07:57

Standard - and in kids best interest, our kids start school far too early as it is. YANBU to be annoyed but you should start getting used to this kind of thing, school isn’t child care for you while you work, it’s a learning environment for your children.
You’ll never get this me back with your kids so my advice would be make arrangements accordingly and try to enjoy the time and support your D.C. ask for parental leave or flex working, employers where I am are used to this, you’re not the first parent to be complaining.

WhipItGood · 22/06/2018 08:01

This is just the start op Sad No ok, schools aren’t childcare. That gets trotted out routinely on Mn.

Many parents aren’t teachers either - but they want you up at the school involved to the nth degree just the same or you are made to feel you are uncommitted to your child’s education.

Secondary school was a huge relief, but of course is still some way off.

tomhazard · 22/06/2018 08:03

I really sympathise OP but it is standard unfortunately. In my DDs school they filtered them in youngest first (on half days), so DD as an autumn born child didn't start until the 15th September...My DH was working abroad at that time and I started a new job on the 30th August. I had to acutally move my mother-in-law in to our house (from far away!) and beg and borrow a lot of favours from friends. It is a massive PITA, as are INSET days (!) but you have to try and understand why schools are doing it and take a deep breath - you'll find a way to manage.

Cath2907 · 22/06/2018 08:06

No settling in for my DD and she was fine! Knackered but fine!

Yura · 22/06/2018 08:06

how strange - our school started full timd from 1st day of reception, and they do longer days than most schools (8:15 am to 3:30 pm). kids deal fine if they have been to nursery before

Bestbe · 22/06/2018 08:09

They don’t legally have to have your child over lunchtime so they could legally insist you come and pick him up.
This is what has always happened when they start school. It’s two weeks out of years and years of education.

Yura · 22/06/2018 08:10

And to "its in the interest of your child" - no. a good school can manage this just fine. our school also strongly recommends to send children to nursery for at least some full days before starting school . school days are a lot shorter than nursery days, and they just relax in the afternoon and play at the start if the school is any good.

gingercat02 · 22/06/2018 08:11

It's crap but seems to be the case in most of the schools round here. Ours weren't full time for 4 weeks!

SuburbanRhonda · 22/06/2018 08:13

Haven’t RTFT as these threads do seem to always go the same way.

I’m in the middle of the sessions we run for new reception children and their families. No-one has asked about the staggered starts because the information is on our website, but the exact arrangements for each child are not usually decided until all offers places have been accepted and waiting list places allocated and accepted.

Do please request full-time from day one if it fits better with your commitments but try to avoid the advice given by some pp of “insisting” or talking about your legal entitlement.

And I also wouldn’t use the language of a pp who implies that only she cares about her children.

Branleuse · 22/06/2018 08:13

it's completely normal to stagger times when starting school. You should have been told

Original poster
Worriedaboutdog · 22/06/2018 08:16

Did you not thinking about asking about settling in arrangements when you checked out the school?

No, because I just assumed settling in arrangements would be things like everyone wearing a name sticker for the first few days, not alterations to school dates and hours! Have confirmed with my DM that my sister and I both went full time from the off, so didn’t even have hazy personal experience to draw on!

OP posts:
Original poster
Worriedaboutdog · 22/06/2018 08:17

In any case spoke to his nursery this morning and they’re happy to have him back for the full week and a half he’s off after term starts, so just the half days to sort now!

OP posts:
notacooldad · 22/06/2018 08:18

Dsis nearly 22 and this happened to him so it's not a new thing.
We just had to take half days leave between us.

gingercat02 · 22/06/2018 08:19

OP you also need to prepare yourselves for years of class shows, Christmas plays, book looks, parents "evenings" last appointment at 5:55 ,sports days, etc all in school hours and the big eyes and sad faces if at least one of you doesn't go is awful

TheCatFromOuterSpace · 22/06/2018 08:22

Our school did this. The later start was fine as we just kept dd in nursery for a bit longer. The school originally suggested two weeks of half days, but I had a chat with them and we decided that, as she was already doing full days at nursery, a week should be fine. I took annual leave to cover it.

Mammyloveswine · 22/06/2018 08:30

In my school everyone starts full time on the first day... it makes life an awful.lot easier over the first few weeks! Yes irs busy but most of the chikfren have been in our school nursery anyway! So would be daft to not have them.in!

susej · 22/06/2018 08:30

You mentioned after school clubs, not sure if this is every school but my school didn’t allow receptions into after school club, you went from year 1.

lozster · 22/06/2018 08:33

Have all the people who keep popping on to say ‘it’s standard’ actually glanced at any other comments on the thread saying ‘my kid’s school doesn’t do this?’Hmm

And even if it were ‘standard’ the point is that it is not legally enforceable nor is there any evidence that it is beneficial.

FunkyHeroCat · 22/06/2018 08:35

Why should the school care? It's not their concern how you look after the children you chose to have

Because they chose to teach them.

The school doesn't live in a bubble, they are supposed to be forming a partnership with the parents on the education of their children, and to act in loco parentis while the children are with them.

That also means taking into account the different situations that parents find themselves in outside of school, because that will affect the children inside school.

It's no good pretending that all families have a SAHP, that's just not true. This isn't the 1950s, and financial reality means that most families can't afford that.

Branleuse · 22/06/2018 08:37

its standard doesnt mean that every single school does it, but its probably more common than not

Bearhunter09 · 22/06/2018 08:37

We had this we took a few days off when he was just mornings and used the time to settle him into the after school club (which luckily is also a nursery) ime primary schools operate on the basis there is always someone home whether parents or nearby grandparents. This is just the start. One days notice to do some craft related homework, total incomprehension that actually you might pick your kid up at 6 then they’re in bed by 7 so no you can’t play and return this maths game tomorrow. Headteachers pissed off that you can’t get there in 10 min to collect a slightly ill child. It’s only a week of afternoons. They’ll be loads in this position what are you doing for after school care

Bearhunter09 · 22/06/2018 08:41

Oh and it’s definitely not beneficial most kids have been doing full days since 12 months. They spend the first week making new friends with the morning crew then they get put with the afternoon crew for full days and the whole thing goes to pot. I suspect it’s more for the teachers benefit than the childs