Virgin Trains. Pregnant. No seats.

[MindTheGap6]

Starting a whole new thread on this one!

Missed my train this morning due to delays. Got on the next train to London. Virgin train. No seats, 5 months pregnant, painful joints, very unsteady and uncomfortable. All seats booked apart from first class. Found conductor to see if he could find me a seat as I'm pregnant and unsteady. Was told no to sitting in a practically empty first class, and that I should get off the train and get a less busy one if I want a seat. Three members of staff currently on duty sat in first class (fine, but would've expected them to at least help me find a seat). Wasn't told about priority seats. Had to wait until a very kind woman spotted me and loudly said that she couldn't believe nobody allowed me to sit and that people should be ashamed (this is after I nearly fell over trying to pull my terribly uncomfortable maternity jeans up!). Originally had a seat booked but connection was delayed so missed it (whole other story!). Feeling frustrated and stupid.

AIBU to think that this is pretty poor form? Or do I need to suck it up and get on with it as 'being pregnant isn't an illness' as I've heard many times before on MN (prepared for that)

@letsallhaveanap

some people on this thread are like the 'Four Yorkshiremen'......'Well when I was three weeks overdue I ran the London Marathon twice, why would anyone want to sit down?!'

'Well when I was half way through giving birth I went round and did some DIY for my manager and then I cooked my family a Sunday roast. Then nipped back into the hospital to push the rest of the baby out. Childbirth isnt an illness!'

PMSL at this post ^ I agree with you. Some people on this thread are being ridiculous. Well I did this and I did that,so you should be able to do it to la la la!!!' So smug and condescending.

I also agree with @littlelionmansmummy

I should think that, like many pregnant women, she won't want to give her employer any reason to think she's not coping with her pregnancy. Lots of women struggle through because they're fearful of repercussions. Whatever the legalities of it, some employers will surmise that women who admit they are struggling with pregnancy may well struggle with meeting the demands of a job as a mother (however wrong that is). Women can feel very vulnerable in their jobs while pregnant and on mat leave.

Some employers are looking for ANY excuse to get rid of women who are pregnant/have kids. Not all obviously, but SOME ... Also, you get a hard time from some child-free women at work who love nothing more than a good bitchfest about the special favours working mommies get - you know like going home early if her child is ill.

Honestly, as a mother of young kids you cannot win! You go back to work, and you're bashed and berated (by your fellow employees,) and you have every obstacle placed in your way to make life more difficult for you with 'well you CHOSE to come back to work' barked at you by people.., And if you become a stay-at-home-mom, you are labelled a lazy freeloader who expects her husband to fund her 'chosen lifestyle.'

Going back to the original issue; only the most callous, thoughtless and selfish individual, would have a problem with a pregnant woman needing a seat.

@Mindthegap6 Complain to Virgin. And do it via twitter. Companies HATE that because so many people see it.

@Fevs

No pregnancy isn’t an ‘illness’ however because you are growing a tiny baby inside of your body and with that comes a lot of discomfort and sometimes pain and illness I think a little kindness and helpfulness is nice. Especially from huge multi million pound corporations!

Agree with this. And it's such a horrible, callous, mean thing to say 'you're only pregnant, not ill.' It really fucks me off!

I agree with some posters on here that some remarks on here are very spiteful, uncaring, and bitchy.

massivelyouting she left the platform assuming the information given was correct- it would depart at x time, so yes it is still the train company’s fault

They should have let you sit in First Class.

However, you don't say where you are travelling from and how long your journey is. I will give up my seat to a pregnant woman, but I'd be pissed off about it had the journey been long as I have a bad back brought on after prolonged standing, so I can understand if no one was overly keen on giving their seat up on a long journey. Lots of people have hidden issues.

I would offer my seat to a preggie lady, why wouldn't you. I think it's time they did away with first class, I always book my seats through train line and 1st is only a couple of pounds more. It's a bit better in first, the seats are a bit bigger and you can have a single seat on your own by the window but it's usually full of very important people on their mobiles or laptops. I don't think anyone should be forced to stand on any overcrowded hot stuffy noisy train. You should write to them anyway and ask for a refund due to the delays, the train service is shite in this country and its time commuters got a proper service.

I feel like a naughty school child being told off lol! Thanks folks for your responses.

I'm taken back they didn't offer any actual help - even telling you you could buy an upgrade to first class.

I suspect passengers either didn't see or realsise you were pg - there are still large numbers of nice people despite train getting more stressful for everyone -- at least that's my perception.

Personally I think you should complain to Virgin. It sounds like the staff were very unhelpful. Whatever you asked for and however you asked for it, if it was clear you were in need of a seat they should have helped you to find one.

Sounds horrendous. I think you were unlucky, I find most Virgin train managers are really proactive in finding you a seat even if you're not pregnant. I'm only 13 weeks and already feel like shit, I got a Virgin train to London and back yesterday and there was no way I could have stood up on either journey. I nearly fainted standing up on the tube in rush hour.

There are a lot of very miserable people on this thread.

OP do tweet them or get in touch. I've found their customer service to be pretty rubbish but it's worth a go.

When my DD was a baby my grandmother died. The funeral was arranged incredibly quickly and I had to book a train ticket straight away: it did not come with a reserved seat (I can't quite remember why as it was a 500 mile journey but I think it was because I booked it the day before? This was about seven years ago). I got on the train, carrying baby DD in a sling and could not find a seat anywhere, it was packed. I asked the guard for help, and he was initially curt, telling me that to get a seat on this particular service you need to book more than a day in advance and I just broke down. He then offered to let me upgrade to first class for £10, which of course I did, and then enjoyed lots of free biscuits and a nice lady bringing me tea. This was Virgin too.

Not read all the thread so not sure if this has already been said...airlines overbook seats assuming some travellers don't turn up, and if they have empty seats in first class,they upgrade travellers to fill them. Why can't train companies do same. I suppose it would be up to the staff on the train to establish who got priority for an upgrade,i.e disabled, pregnant.
But the real problem is human behaviour. People are more selfish and uncaring these days. If you're traveling in first class why would it matter if a disabled or pregnant person joined you for free? It's a case of, I've paid for the privilege, I resent you getting the privilege for free.Why can't we all be KINDER?

As an aside, 'preggie lady' makes me want to throw up. Grim.

I read the other day on the BBC news that someone gave birth on a French train to celebrate the event the railway company SNCF gave the child a free train pass until it will be 25 years old;!

Probally a bit much to expect from Virgin trains but surely no big deal to let the train manager or whatever they call them now the discretion to let a pregnant woman sit in first class if nowhere else is available but i expect its down to jobsworthness somewhere caused by the best in class railway management:(

I’m not saying I wouldn’t give up my seat, but on a 3 hour journey with a reserved seat I would not be happy to.

Of course first class can be bloody expensive. Especially on long distance services! First class could be in the hundreds. The type of journey where first class is a few pounds more obviously isn’t the scope of the journey in question is it? Especially as virgin trains is the operator. They are not a budget operator.

I think in your case, OP, you didn’t leave enough contingency time. For a 2.5 hour + journey, you should definitely aim to get to the station in good time - this includes leaving extra time when connecting services are involved. It takes me about 20 minutes to get to my home tube station to Euston but I still leave 1 hour+ in advance. Things regularly fuck up last minute with public transport, and if I have important obligations I will ensure that I get there regardless by leaving extra time.

Unless the first train was significantly delayed by like half an hour, I’m not sure how you missed the next train if you really left enough time for the connection. If you were delayed because of a preceding train, staff would be aware as their control would inform them. So if your first train was dramatically delayed and caused you to miss your planned 2nd train, staff would have been more helpful. I have seen virgin trains remove seat reservations and declassify first class if there have been issues. The fact that this didn’t happen today suggests that your initial delay was quite minor.

Wow! There are some seriously horrible, un-empathetic, un-caring, self-centred people on this thread.

I didn't even know I was pregnant at 5 months, however I'm not naïve enough to think that some other people suffer terribly.

What happened to kindness, compassion and common sense.

People are more selfish and uncaring these days.

🙄

You’re right - they were so much kinder when they sent their kids up chimneys and their poor to the workhouses...

I don't know why some people are determined to prove the OP missed the train through her own fault - the thread is about the reactions of the guards, who had no way of knowing that, so it's irrelevant.

I had no idea you could pay £15 to upgrade

Upgrades like this are only available on the weekend.

I also suspect that he gets a lot of people trying to sit in First Class without paying

I see this all the time. People often just sit there and act somewhat surprised when they're either asked to leave or pay a small amount for an upgrade. They also often steal the water and newspapers when walking through. I choose to pay extra to sit in first class so that I can work in peace. If you want a seat in first regardless of being pregnant or having a condition that makes you unable to stand then you should be willing to pay the cost of the upgrade.

You’ve been unlucky with who you spoke to and I would complain. I was 8 month pregnant on a packed commuter train once, even first class was full. The guard put me in the guard cubby hole thing.

Had to spend the entire journey resisting the urge to use the tannoy.

I just hope you've already tweeted them. They should have offered you the option to upgrade to first class on the spot.

'Had to wait until a very kind woman spotted me and loudly said that she couldn't believe nobody allowed me to sit and that people should be ashamed'

Was this before or after she gave you her seat? I can't abide people who try to shame others into giving up their seats, personally.

Sorry to hear you had an awful experience OP. DEFINITELY get yourself on Twitter. I’ve contacted Virgin a few times and they’ve always responded. I’ll retweet you