AIBU to ask if anyone here got pregnant using the withdrawal method (especially if your DH/DP successfully withdrew every time)

[Empoweredwomenempowerwomem]

To clarify this is not because I am considering this a valid method of contraception, but because a colleague stated it was impossible to fall pregnant if you “correctly executed it”

And I am sure you can? So please people enlighten me! because I’m petty and have to know I’m right

My fryand her DH used withdrawal successfully for years, then one night when they were both pissed.... Oops!

Their resulting DS has just started school .

Thing is once DH is going round the Billy Mill roundabout you can never be sure they will remain in control.

Can I ask a, er... "technical" question? With the withdrawal method is the idea that you bonk until the man is about to ejaculate and then withdraw, or do you withdraw quite some time before that and finish in another way?

Why do you think they bothered to invent the pill? The implant? The coil ? Thr condom? Etc. None 100% reliable but withdrawal least of all. Only abstinence is 100%.

We use it when we aren't TTC but it's a bit crap isn't it? The finish is a bit of a damp squib.

I’ve used the withdrawal method for over 15 years.

The only time I got pregnant after withdrawal was when me and my bf and the time had been out on the lash, and we were as pissed as a pair of mattresses. He did withdraw, but clearly his timing was a bit squiffy.

That’s not bad odds I reckon.

We used it successfully for years.

Can I ask a question?

Wouldn’t it be very frustrating if you start to b getting there and he pulls out?

You want a good old push don’t you to keep it going?

Wouldn’t pulling out be a bloody anti climax! Literally

Well...I charted my fertile days and used withdrawal then, and just had normal sex on non fertile days. So could have a ‘good old push’ then.

We did use it successfully, had our kids when we wanted them, but I wouldn’t recommend it if getting pregnant would be a disaster.

Yup, the fluid from the Cowper's glands can contain sperm.

If you're not wanting to use artificial contraception your best bet is a fertility awareness based method. This is NOT the old "rhythm" or "calendar" method; modern methods such as Serena, Creighton, Billings, and Marquette use physical signs and symptoms to determine fertile periods. When used properly they have similar efficacy to the Pill. They can also be used at any time during reproductive life, even if you have irregular cycles.

Jesus effing Christ, the “withdrawal method” is not a method.

I interviewed a lovely man several years ago for my MA. He frankly told me he "was tired of doing it in reverse" - he had eight children.

Worked perfectly for us. 2 years of "pulling out" with no issues. Then we decided to try for a baby and fell pregnant on the first attempt.

Reading this made me remember my late nan.
Sharp as a tack but the tongue of a buffer girl
She would tell us stories about when she was young and out with friends "laddin" My sister once asked about contraceptives back then, Nan laughed and replied "nay love, we'd chuck em' off before they got t'teminus.

It worked for 3 years for us but it did end in pregnancy. I was like your friend, adamant that it's effective if executed properly. DH was 100% confident in his control too.

Yes it happened to me and DH always pulled out in time.
A good friend of mine did it for years and when she wanted to conceive she got pregnant straight away so was obviously v fertile. I wrongly assumed that it must be fine if she had relied on it for years!

We've used it for 15 years successfully. 3 planned DC conceived quickly with a reversal of the method. But an unplanned pregnancy wouldn't have been a problem for us. After this DC is born I think I will do something more scientifically effective.

Mrcharlie

Your Nan sounded ace

I can vouch for it definitely working... the two times we haven’t done it has produced two children in eight years.

It sort of works as we used it for about 6 years, however we have two children as a result of this method!

Never used it as a method of contraception but did get a bit pissed one night a couple of years ago. We had completely unprotected sex for all of 5 seconds before we realised we'd forgotten the condom, stopped and put it on. I fell pregnant with DC2.

I've come to the conclusion that we're quite fertile because I'm currently pregnant with DC3 after a condom failed (used correctly and no apparent split). DC1 was conceived in our first month of trying. We always wanted 3 children but going forward we need to work out several types of contraception I think.

So yes I think that it doesn't work as a reliable method for everyone. There is a big factor at play here though. Not every one who doesn't become pregnant using it, would have become pregnant even if not using it iyswim. I'm also interested that a PP said there had been a study that proved some men had sperm in their precum and others don't. Would make sense.

It sort of works as we used it for about 6 years, however we have two children as a result of this method!

It doesn’t work then, does it?!

This subject is, for me, one of the most baffling things about Mumsnet.

A site used almost exclusively by women with a strong focus on conception, pregnancy, childbirth and everything child related. A place where thousands of women post about their experiences in a safe, anonymous way. A goldmine of information about this sort of stuff.

And yet, seemingly every other day, we get another thread about the “withdrawal method”, where people say daft things like, “yes, me and DH have used it successfully for years, well, except for the two accidental pregnancies we had, oopsie!”

The withdrawal method is NOT A METHOD, people.

I was surprised that my friend thought it was when she accidentally got pregnant at 19. But I’m even more surprised that so many people on Mumsnet think it is.

I know this is controversial but we've been using this method for around 13 years and never got pregnant. I'm definitely ovulating because I get a bit of pain in the middle of my cycle (alternating sides). We do this because I've had extremely bad reactions to the many types of pill. Things like moos swings, anxiety, weight gain reduced sex drive.
However my close friend got pregnant doing this. She now has a wonderful child but it was early in a relationship and was difficult. So tbh I think it's only advisable to do if you weigh up how big a deal getting pregnant would be vs impact of other contraceptive methods.

apparently my very catholic grandparents used the 'rythem method " ( i realise this is not the same thing) it didnt work my uncle born, 6 and 10 years after is siblings is 70 this year

After a coil failure and condom failure, we did try this. We ended up with 2 children from that 'method' too. We are now looking at surgical methods. However the gynaecologist is concerned that with very fertile people sterilisation also has a 15% failure 🤦🏻‍♀️ Apparently the most effective method is the implant but I'm not keen on that although she reassures me it's minimal hormone.