AIBU to ask if anyone here got pregnant using the withdrawal method (especially if your DH/DP successfully withdrew every time)

[Empoweredwomenempowerwomem]

To clarify this is not because I am considering this a valid method of contraception, but because a colleague stated it was impossible to fall pregnant if you “correctly executed it”

And I am sure you can? So please people enlighten me! because I’m petty and have to know I’m right

I don’t know, it worked well for us for over 10 years - I didn’t tolerate oral contraceptives well and we both hated barrier methods. We have two children but they were both planned and not surprise pregnancies. Perhaps we are just not that fertile or very lucky! DH has now had the snip as we most definitely don’t want any more children.

I got pregnant with my son during my time of the month, with a condom and the morning after pill! There’s no way I would trust the withdrawal method

I'm guessing it happens a lot, as something must have given rise to the old joke:-

Q. What do you call people who use the Withdrawal Method for contraception?

A. Parents

No! I actually think its a very good method of birth control.... we regularly use it and I did fall pregnant by accident ONE OF THE FEW TIMES WE USED A CONDOM!! Not even joking wed gone away for a romantic weekend and used condoms so he could finish inside me for a change.... and one split, took the morning after pill... didnt work... and we ended up with our son... whos amazing and I dont regret for a second... but still... its funny that people reckon condoms are more reliable than the pull out method... I disagree!!!

your collegue is an idiot.

We have had unprotected sex 6 times and have 6 kids.

Ffs I would be michelle dugger with this withdrawal method bollocks

Your collegue is a twat

DH and I used it for 10 years then decided to try for a baby and I was pregnant a month later.

It would be a bit of a disaster if I got pregnant now though so I have a coil. So even though it worked for us for a decade I don’t totally trust it.

I wouldnt use the pull out method with anyone I was casually dating however... I just used it with my husband after some time together with the agreement that if I did fall pregnant then we would keep the child. I just hate hormonal contraception and neither of us really like condoms.... so thats what we generally use and I have fallen pregnant twice... once when the condom split and the second time because we were actively trying to get pregnant... never actually from the pull out method.....

But saying that it will depend on the couple because some men leak much more pre cum than others and so would be much more likely to get you pregnant even if they did not finish inside you.... and also some couples will fine it much easier to fall pregnant than others... so it IS more of a risk than condoms in some situations... just not for us I dont think.

but yeah your colleague is wrong.... because even if you dont finish inside you might still leak pre cum which can cause women to fall pregnant... so it doesnt matter about 'correctly executed' !!! Unless youve been with someone a long time and know that they dont really produce pre cum in which case you might choose to take a gamble with it... I certainly would not rely on it with someone youd just met or anything... that work mate is going to get a shock if she keeps doing that!!

DH and I used withdrawal method for about 5 yrs. No pregnancies.

(We used it as it didn't really matter to us if I did get pregnant we'd have managed - just wasn't really the plan).

As soon as we ditched that, had 3 pregnancies, each time on the first month of trying. During the times in between pregnancies, we went withdrawal again and it worked.

Obviously, not a method I'd recommend at all to anyone who didn't want a pregnancy but it worked for us so it did definitely work with our bodies at the time.

You know what they call people who use the withdrawal method?

‘Parents’.

I think your friend might be talking more about the 'natural contraception' idea (I don't know what they call it), whereby the woman tracks her cycle and will know when she should ovulate and sex is avoided around that time with withdrawal used the rest of the time. Some people swear by it but I wouldn't trust it. I know when my dd was conceived and DH didn't 'finish', I had recently stopped using the pill and was awaiting my first natural period which didn't show up until after she was born! We were a bit pissed and gave up after a few minutes so had I been relying on not ejaculating= Not getting pregnant we would have been screwed!

About half of the babies I know were conceived because my idiotic friends thought the withdrawal method counted as contraception

We used the withdrawal method for two years when at a point in our lives we'd have been happy to have a baby but weren't in a rush. Executed properly, as it were, and no pregnancies. I became pregnant the first cycle of not using the withdrawal method.

We’ve used it in the past, when we weren’t too worried if I did fall pregnant and it was an entirely successful method for us - I’ve got pregnant the first month every time we’ve actively tried, so we’re very fertile, but never had an unintentional pregnancy. I wouldn’t trust it now that we are certain our family is complete though.

@samewitches - she’s definitely not on NFP, as our conversation started by me explaining Dp and I’s NFP using the natural cycles app, condoms every time and practicing abstinence on any fertile days.
(I don’t want to be pregnant, but after our pregnancy loss, I became very depressed and found that hormone based contraception made it much worse, and that as the copper coil can stop you having periods, I may be constantly worried about pregnancy. So we’ve opted for condoms for the time being.

She just means withdrawal , as in pull out prior to orgasm.

Once in seven years, though I had an early miscarriage. The ex had had a previous accident who has now made him a grandfather.

5.5 years of using it
One planned pregnancy
Wish it wasn't that effective

many a teenage girl can tell you the answer

errrr yeah me.... first time we did it.

I’ve managed to not get pregnant doing this for 4.5 years. However this could be because one or both of us is infertile. We are now TTC and bugger all is happening so who knows.

It is actually pretty reliable if used in combination with tracking your cycle. But it’s absolutely not infallible!

"Don't worry I promise I won't come inside you"
is not a reliable form of birth control.

Yes I got pregnant twice from withdrawal, we were young and foolish. He did withdraw before he came but we didn't know about pre-cum..

I think it probably depends on the amount of self control the man has too.
DH was circumcised for medical reasons and as a result has some loss of sensitivity-meaning he can go on forever and can 100% reliably withdraw in time.
This is useful or not depending on what you are trying to achieve! Currently not at all helpful.....

If done 'properly' isn't it about as effective as using the cap? I was considering the cap at one point and failure rate put me off.

We “got off at Edge Hill” for years with no slip ups. Started trying for a baby and I conceived within two months. I totally trusted DH to withdraw well in advance and I believe he was scrupulous about it.