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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About queue skippers

89 replies

Shockaholic · 20/06/2018 15:27

So full disclosure, I am hot headed at the best of times and hate bad manners,and I'm also pregnant at the moment and extra hormonal,so I may be over reacting!

School pickup,children in reception so collected from the classroom. Parents all queue up against wall then teacher calls kids names one by one so not a mass exit. There's one "lovely" mother who regularly - 3 times a week maybe - strolls past the 6/7/8 people ahead of her to stand right in front of the door. Annoys me every time I see it but have never said anything. Today she did it again. So I moved back in front of her and said, quite calmly not aggressively or loudly "you know there is a queue". Then stood there with back to her (so facing the door) and didn't engage further. She started saying something about "but there was a space there" I didn't turn around as I didn't see the point in discussing it further. It wasn't a one off "oh I'm in a rush today" or a mistake in not realising there was a queue,she is doing it regularly since September. But now I feel embarrassed and that I should have just left it go. Over analysing as usual and I'll cringe about it now for days.

So how unreasonable was I? (Sorry boring I know!!)

OP posts:

Original poster

Shockaholic · 20/06/2018 15:29

To be clear she moves to the front of queue before the teacher opens the door,so everyone is still waiting and kids haven't started coming out yet. And the teacher calls pupils out then in order of the parents she sees. And yes I realise how petty this all sounds

OP posts:

alwaysthepessimist · 20/06/2018 15:30

oh arses...I pick up my DD one day a week and she is in year 1, the parents all mill around the fence and teacher sends them out (in what I thought was a really random pattern) now I am worrying I am queue jumping because I always walk around everyone so the teacher can see I am there......this week I shall stand at the back and see what happens....who knew the playground had rules?!

alwaysthepessimist · 20/06/2018 15:30

Oh and BTW if that is what she is doing then YANBU

RuLu · 20/06/2018 15:31

You probably just said what everyone else has been thinking!! I wouldn't worry about it! Some people consider themselves more important than others, others are just thoughtless!

Original poster

Shockaholic · 20/06/2018 15:41

@alwaysthepessimist this is inside the school along a narrow corridor so first person there stands nearest classroom door etc and coming in from opposite end so when you come around corner you get to the end of the queue before the front of it iyswim. So she has to walk past ppl to go to the front. It doesn't sound like it's anything like that in your school so I'm sure you're fine

OP posts:

PrivateDoor · 20/06/2018 15:46

It would wind me up too. And tbh so would always - coming in and standing in front of everyone else just to get seen first isn't really great either, I hate when people do this in the playground to be honest.

I am like you op though and a bit ott about stuff like this. Earlier in the shop I was queuing behind some children who were trying to pay for sweets, guy walks right up to the front and was served immediately. I hate that sort of thing! Or when you let someone go in front of you if they have much less items but they cannot even bother to say thanks. I would love to be more chilled about this kind of thing!

ohtheholidays · 20/06/2018 15:58

No YANBU she's a CF,I hate when people presume that they're time is more important than anyone else's.

Fingers crossed she's got the hint now.

soupforbrains · 20/06/2018 15:59

I don't think you've done anything unreasonable. She clearly has been relying on the manners of others to allow her to queue jump repeatedly.

Either she a) didn't realise it was a queue in which case she is a bit dim, and also now knows, or b)she knew and was doing it on purpose in which case you were right to pull her up on it and hopefully she will now stop doing it (but I wouldn't hold your breath)

CuriousaboutSamphire · 20/06/2018 16:02

There's a gap What? That slim space between parent at the front of the queue and the door frame?

She is verily a CF and you have probably been elevated to Hero Status by many other mums

WillowRose79 · 20/06/2018 16:05

I HATE this!! at rush hour in the mornings people are queuing to get through barriers and theres ALWAYS one who just slides up and I always call them out on it and tell them to get to the back, its not on!

Tinkobell · 20/06/2018 16:06

Oh no, have no regrets. Well done you. She's a CFer and needed to be told. What a limp wristed bunch to have said nothing for so long!

Emmageddon · 20/06/2018 16:06

I don't think it's anything to do with you being pregnant and hormonal and everything to do with the "lovely" mother who is quite obviously a cheeky fucker of the highest order.

00100001 · 20/06/2018 16:07

Good job calling her out on her shitty behaviour!

Tinkobell · 20/06/2018 16:09

You were very self controlled. Judging by your opening, i thought you were going to say you grabbed the back of her hair, tore it back (eastenders style) and yelled "Oi you stuck up cow, get back and stay back!" ....but no such luck! Just a polite throat clearing and burning conscience. 😁

purplegreen99 · 20/06/2018 16:10

I think you handled this perfectly - you were assertive but not rude. Hopefully you've saved the rest of the class from 6 years of this woman barging to the best seats at assemblies and pushing in at parents' evenings, though possibly she is too thick skinned to care.

eyycarumba · 20/06/2018 16:11

It's one of my biggest pet peeves, almost always call someone out for queue pushing. She's a CF

Sleepyblueocean · 20/06/2018 16:13

Could there be a arrangement with school that her child comes out first for some reason. Otherwise yes she is being a cf.

imavinit · 20/06/2018 16:15

I think you are right. there is far too much entitled cheeky fuckery about these days. She knows exactly what she is doing.

Sleepyandtired21 · 20/06/2018 16:17

I’d be so annoyed! Think you’ve been quite reasonable really!

Charolais · 20/06/2018 16:18

Forget about the queuing, I’m fascinated by the fact you are all handed off your children at the end of the school day and have to escort them home.

I grew up in the 50’s and 60’s and never did I see parents picking up their children from school. Our walk home from school was a fun time that the kids enjoyed.

We used to go to the parks and swings without parents. I was catching the bus alone into town when I was ten. At 11 or 12 I was catching two buses alone to go for riding lessons every Saturday. Babies were left outside the shops in their prams while the mums shopped. Dogs were tied to anything outside same shops to wait. Bikes where left unlocked at the bike stands in town. Last night there was a thread talking about it being normal for girl to start their periods at age 10 or younger! I knew lots of girls and that was not happening to any of us.

What the hell has happened to the U.K? Why isn’t it safe anymore? Is pollution/processed food/chemicals causing little girls to menstruate so young now or was I just surrounded by late bloomers? (I was 16 btw when I started my periods).

Does anyone know if any research has been done on all of this?

I’ve lived aboard for 45+ years and I’m astounded at how the U.K. has changed for the worse.

Tinkobell · 20/06/2018 16:22

In a few months, you will be standing out with your newborn, possibly in the freeze....why should a CFer like that get away with queue jumping?!!

Hygge · 20/06/2018 16:22

There's also a space at the end of the queue. You're going to have to let us know if she uses it tomorrow.

I did a similar thing once at school, except I just pointed and said "No!" as the pushy parent was trying to squeeze by, so you were more polite than me.

LML83 · 20/06/2018 16:28

agree with @soup

either she knew and is a CF then you deserve a round of applause from the rest of the queue. Or she didn't know and will be suitably embarrassed and now be more aware of herself and you still did the right thing.

Jeezoh · 20/06/2018 16:32

I like how our school does it. The children come out in a line and the teacher releases them in that order, regardless of which parent is at the front of the queue.

prettybird · 20/06/2018 16:32

Good for you

I hope you feel sufficiently emboldened and supported that if she tries it on again in a day or so, you will repeat the exercise, even more assertively! . You may even find that other parents will now follow your example and let her know that what she was doing is not acceptable.

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