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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU at the level of child support payments

78 replies

craxmum · 20/06/2018 13:29

Ex is on £120K + bonus. Calculated child maintenance for 2 children (2 and 4) is £198 per week, and he will not participate financially in any other way - this contribution covers only a third of childcare costs, nevermind anything else.
AIBU to think that is ridiculously low?

OP posts:
Butterflykissess · 20/06/2018 13:47

£198 a week ridiculously low? sometimes this site is like a parallel universe. i get £13 a fortnight for 4 kids.

BlueBug45 · 20/06/2018 13:49

How often does your ex have the children? How many other children does your ex have?

TokenBritPoshOfCourse · 20/06/2018 13:51

It’s not a race to the bottom, Butterfly.

OP is that through the CMS? Are you married? As far as I know with a high earning ex it’s better to go through the courts and sort it out with the divorce.

KirstenRaymonde · 20/06/2018 13:51

That doesn’t seem a huge amount for that salary. Does he ever have the kids?

KirstenRaymonde · 20/06/2018 13:51

Butterflykissess does your kids Dad earn £120,000?

Butterflykissess · 20/06/2018 13:53

clearly not. its the "ridiculously low" comment i dont get.

IHaveBrilloHair · 20/06/2018 13:55

It's ridiculously low in the circumstances

Allthewaves · 20/06/2018 13:56

Suppose if your used to a certain lifestyle then it's low but think many single parents would be happy with nearly £800 a month.

SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 13:57

Best part of £800 a month isn’t ridiculously low. What did the CMS say? If they up it, take it. But ffs don’t whinge that the equivalent of a wage is “ridiculously low” when there are RPs who get fuck all.

JacquesHammer · 20/06/2018 13:58

These threads always turn into a ridiculous race to the bottom.

If the OP’s ex-H is on £120K plus, then it IS ridiculously low.

Fluffyunicorns · 20/06/2018 13:58

If he is not having them overnight the CMS calculator says £309 per week for 120K

SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 13:59

Then OP needs to go to the CMS.

Butterflykissess · 20/06/2018 14:00

thank goodness its not just me. ok say "it doesnt sound right" but "ridiculously low" come on! i get less than a pound a day for 4 children.

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 20/06/2018 14:00

Just because others only get £5 a week doesn’t mean it isn’t low. If her ex is getting about about £7000 net per month £800 is low.

Mari50 · 20/06/2018 14:01

You’re going to get loads of posters saying you should be handful for what you get!
It probably doesn’t keep you in the lifestyle that your used to unless you are similarly high earning and you’d hope a parent wouldn’t just contribute the minimum especially on what appears to be a good wage even before bonus is included.
It’s not ridiculously low as it’s almost £10k but I can understand why you’re pissed off.
Good luck getting anymore though as a lot of absent parents think that they are hard done by paying the recommended levels let alone any extra.

Mari50 · 20/06/2018 14:01

Handful? Grateful!!

SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 14:02

thank goodness its not just me. ok say "it doesnt sound right" but "ridiculously low" come on!

This. Nobody is saying OP shouldn’t challenge and get what her children are entitled to. But dismissing a huge amount of money as “ridiculously low” is flippant and not on.

IHaveBrilloHair · 20/06/2018 14:02

I've had £56 this year
That doesn't mean the OP should get less than her ex should be paying.
She should be getting the correct amount for her children and she currently isn't.

craxmum · 20/06/2018 14:03

We are in the process of divorcing now.
I did not mean to come as overly entitled. 4 year old is in a fee paying school, which ex has insisted upon, youngest is in a full time nursery. I was also gracefully left to pay the joint mortgage. I work full time, but I make around £50K, not entitled to any public funds and just wonder how it is possible at all.
On the paper he has the children two nights in a week + half holidays. In practice, there were no overnights in 2018 at all, as he has a new baby and a new partner who is not too keen about the 'ex' family.

OP posts:
Buzzlightyearsbumchin · 20/06/2018 14:04

Does he have other children or have your dc overnight a lot? That doesn't sound right to me.

I feel your pain, my dcs dad pays enough to cover about a 10th of childcare costs. When I asked for more money he asked for my incomings and outgoings so his gf and him could go over them and suggest where I can cut back Angry

IHaveBrilloHair · 20/06/2018 14:04

It's ridiculously low for his income

SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 14:05

If he doesn’t have overnights then a PP came up with the CMS quote which is significantly more than you’re getting now, I’d contact them.

I took issue with your wording because it did sound entitled, however fighting to get your children the money they deserve and should be getting isn’t.

FoofFighter · 20/06/2018 14:06

If he isn't having them overnights then get it recalculated.

Allthewaves · 20/06/2018 14:07

If he's had no overnight's then tell csa that. Also u may have to look at moving dc if he won't pay school fees

HopefullyAnonymous · 20/06/2018 14:08

That’s over £10k a year. I don’t think anyone could argue it was “ridiculously” low.

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