AIBU at the level of child support payments

[craxmum]

Ex is on £120K + bonus. Calculated child maintenance for 2 children (2 and 4) is £198 per week, and he will not participate financially in any other way - this contribution covers only a third of childcare costs, nevermind anything else.
AIBU to think that is ridiculously low?

That needs to be recalculated that can’t be correct??

It sounds like he's calculating based on having them overnight and having his new baby in the home. With less than 52 overnights it says £278.

A quick check with the details you've given say £239 a week given the supposed overnight stays and his new baby. Does she have any children that live with them too other than new baby?

He can’t insist on them staying in a fee paying school if he won’t pay for it.
If I were you I would make sure they get a state school place sorted ASAP. As it isn’t realalistic that you will be able to afford it going forward with his attitude. He can’t be forced to pay the school fees unfortunately.
I went to 4 different primary schools for the record. Changing schools is not always a big deal for kids. They are pretty resilient.

How much time does he have with them? And £198 seems off with the cms cal based on the info you gave. If he has them 52 nights or less per year he should be paying £309 per week, they shave off ££s the more nights he has them. I agree that with £120+k income, £9504 is too little.

x-post, as he has not had the kids you may want to contact cms regarding the "changes" to visitations? If he is not having them 2 nights a week then he is essentially in the wrong and needs to pay the full ~£309

That is the CSA amount. He was not paying anything for 6 months (since he moved out).
Even without the school fees (I almost accepted the fact that DS will be moving into a free school), and even after the house is sold it does not look feasible given the cost of housing and childcare. My visa is employer-specific and I need to stay within commutable distance to Central London.

Child maintenance is worked out minus pension contributions so I guess he may have manipulated the figures there, if he is putting £20k aside every year, not having the kids and paying for another in the home he should still be paying more than £200.
I’d be asking for things to be reassessed for sure. I’d also be having a conversation about his insistence on your D.C. going to private prep when he isn’t contributing to the fees other than basic CM which is definitely unfair (and sadly probably unaffordable if he doesn’t step up, which sounds unlikely if he’s already trying to screw you over and has a new partner and another child ffs!!!!- what is wrong with people)

There is a Child Arrangement Order in place which specifies the current visitation, signed just before Christmas, and which the agency relies on. It is unlikely that the judge will entertain a change so soon (or this is at least what my solicitor says).

Putting in to one side your son needs to be out into another school. If you're struggling to pay for one child you won't afford for two.
As for the money, contact cms again to get it recalculated. There will be a reduction as he has another child but you'd still get more than that based on his salary.
Don't go relying on it though. Jobs change, people earn less at times. It won't always be guaranteed even if they did change it in your favour. Which is another reason I'd move your son asap. It's an added bill you don't need.

Have you kept records of him breaching the child arrangements order e.g. texts and emails?
Would it be better for the children if he kept to it or if it was changed?

On that income, yes it sounds low. I get £100pw for one DC from my exh who earns just over £50k so I would expect you to get more than that.

I never get why people come on these threads saying "oh you're lucky to get that I only get a pittance." It's not "lucky" to get maintenance from your ex, it's a basic expectation. The OP's ex will hardly be struggling on that salary.

He earns a lot and should want his children to benefit from that but there is no way of making him unless you take him to court. He can't make you pay private school fees unless he is willing to pay for them. Personally I would move my child before the youngest has to go too.

For a start, take them out of the fee paying school. If he is not paying for it in full, then he doesn't dictate it.

Then update CMS regarding the lack of overnight stays and get the figures recalculated.

I am collecting and logging the breaches - that's exactly what the solicitor has advised too.
The children are probably neutral to the amount of contact. He was always away on business trips when we were together, and preferred to have his holidays solo, so the children did not see him for weeks on end. No change now.
I know it sounds ridiculous, but I have to ask for his agreement to move schools and this has already been refused. The next step is to apply to the court for a specific issue order.

£198 a week ridiculously low? sometimes this site is like a parallel universe. i get £13 a fortnight for 4 kids

I do hate this response in these threads! The parent should be paying a fair proportion to maintain the children's lifestyles. That is ridiculously low on that salary. Presumably this was all "family income" when the family was intact. To pay less than 10% to your children is disgraceful.

As for £13 per fortnight - how does he get away with that and did you know he was a dick when you decided to have children together. Perhaps we should choose our life partners a bit more wisely.

If you are in default of school fees, presumably the school will no longer agree to him attending, anyway?

As for £13 per fortnight - how does he get away with that and did you know he was a dick when you decided to have children together. Perhaps we should choose our life partners a bit more wisely

Ah yes, it’s obviously the woman’s fault for picking a shitty partner. I mean, OPs ex sounds like a prince among men doesn’t he?

No I didn’t know XH was a dick when I had DS1. I do now. And get fuck all.

had to laugh at that! he quit his job when we broke up to avoid CM. hes own words.

Do people not understand that with a certain standard of salary, comes a certain standard of living? It's not comparable to someone on minimum wage or lower. OP isn't asking what YOU get.

I agree, it does sound ridiculously low! For it not to even cover your childcare is proof of that. I suppose you then have to feed, clothe, pay for clubs and activities out of your pocket, as well as being the main caregiver and keep a roof over their heads?

Is he not agreeable to making a fair deal between yourselves, rather than CMS?

It absolutely is ridiculously low. 10k a year contribution on over 120k salary is a ridiculously low proportion. What other people are getting is irrelevant.

No, I appreciate that people can be judgmental about the situation. I am quite angry at myself too. We have moved to the UK relatively recently after living in another country, so I am not yet 100% on top of how everything works.
At the moment my own take home per month is a few pounds off £3'100 (the first child support payment has not arrived yet, due end of this month). Mortgage is £1'350 (rent is unlikely to be lower), and full time childcare is £1'200. Utilities and bills are around £200. The remaining operating margin is £350, which has to cover commute costs and, hopefully, some food. What am I doing wrong?

Ah yes, always the woman's fault for choosing a shit.
Like I knew before hand

Yes ridiculously low for his income.

Sometimes I despair of the racing to the bottom you get in here!

@IHaveBrilloHair that was my comment which I posted to have a go at the poster who assumed it was women’s fault.