AIBU or is the teacher?

[JustVent]

I expect it’s me. So any advice would be great.
It’s a very simple but ongoing and frustrating issue - School books.
DS, just turned 7, year 2 has not bought a new book home in months.
We write in his diary “please can DS have some new books.”

The teacher writes back
“We remind DS to get new books.”

We have new books. This goes on and and on and on. Still no new books.

He swears blind that no-one has reminded him .
And DH and I are in full time work so have to use a childminder. The childminder drops several children off in the morning some of which are reception age so she has to stay with them but DS can go in by himself. By pick up time she has up to 8 children with her and there’s no way I can expect her to leave them all to go in and get books. Or worse still, drag them through the hoards of people to get books.

The teacher knows we don’t drop off or collect.

I say, why can’t the teacher tell DS to go and get books and come back and physically show her that he’s done it or see with her eyes that he’s put them in his bag.
She doesn’t even need to get out her chair.
Yes there’s 30 kids, but there’s TA’s and parental help.

I feel like the teacher is being difficult. No doubt the teacher feels that we are being difficult, and DS is certainly being a little difficult but “not hearing” the reminders.
Every day I remind him as well, I must add.

The OP doesn't mean that she works 3 hours away from the school. She means that she would have to leave work 3 hours early, as school finishes at 3:15 (and she would need to leave earlier than that to get there in time) whilst she finishes work at 5:30/6pm

Ah, Yes, of course, i didn't see like that...ooops, my bad.

If that is the case, maybe have a late lunch and go to the school then, speak to the teacher, then return to work?

@JustVent Wait. Is someone listening to him read at school, because surely if so, and he's not getting new books then they are listening to him read the same thing over and over? YADNU if it's this case.

Or is it a case of him getting new books, but the books aren't making it into his book bag? YABU if it's this case as at 6/7 he should be organised to know to put the book into his book bag once he's finished reading aloud.

This childminder with 8 kids at home time - legal maximum is 6...

OP you are being a bit rude here. People are only trying to help. Yes, some of us do work around our children by doing compressed hours/ part time / shift work to ensure we can be at the school gate some days. I would hate to never be at the school. I also would not ever use a CM that has 8 children.

I honestly don't know why you posted as you are being quite rude to everyone who suggests ideas to try to help. I cannot imagine not listening to my child read every day. If you really cannot get this sorted then surely you should have used the library, reading chest or charity shops to ensure he has new reading material every week. How can he progress with reading otherwise?

Have you tried punishing him? Or a reward system (mark off every 10 books he reads and give him a small reward each time)? It seems like you would rather sit back and blame the school

My ds is slightly younger, 7 in Aug and also year 2, has form for forgetting to change his book. I remind him every morning but he still manages to 'forget'. I think part of the problem is he has pretty much read himself out of infant school.
When this happens we pick something from home to read. No new school book definitely doesn't meant no home reading.

We use charity shops, the book people and the library. It also means he can read something he's actually interested in, rather than the usual boring school offerings (not schools fault. Hes just been reading for a long time so there isn't much choice for new material).

As a former TA, I think this is a bit off as well. The children should be listened to at least once a week and the TA/ teacher should be making sure the child changes his book at that point. That's what happened in every year 1 or 2 class I've worked in.

Year 2 children generally needs lots of support to remember to do regular jobs like choosing a new book. There would need to be a set time each day to do this when the children know they can, and an adult reminding a few of them that can't individually. There's always some children who think you don't mean them when you speak to the class as a whole. In our Y2 class the T.A> changes the books several times a week- it's not their responsibility until they get to the juniors- nd even then a few need a personal reminder.

Interestingly, I'm not sure if anyone on this thread is also on the 'why are kids from private more confident' thread; but one of the major points said repeatedly is that the responsibility given to children is so much higher at private school, so in this case, book changing would be very much the child's responsibility at a private school, and that the parents would appreciate this and view it as helping their child's confidence.

Yabu OP. Sorry but if you are that cross about it, go to the library and let him choose some to read at home. That's what we do and then there is a huge variety to choose from, a good habit to make anyway visiting the library. My son would often forget but really wasn't bothered as he said they were all rubbish at school and had read them all anyway!

Children should try and remember to change their books themselves at this age, there's not that much they have to remember really. It wouldn't hurt the childminder to remind him either when he comes out and he can pop back in if needed. Simple.

Silver most year 2s are still on some kind of reading scheme, which you are unlikely to find at the library.

@MissEliza it doesn't matter what they read. It's all words. As long as it's the correct standard. I think both my girls only read the first biff and chip before selecting different books.

My DS stopped bring home school readers in year 2, does he still need them or could he just read children's novels?

He should really have access to books at home, I would either buy or borrow some. Do you have a local library open on a Saturday? Or buy second hand? I just got my DS three books on ebay for a total of £5.60 (3 for 2 and free postage), 400 page YA novels in great condition.

I volunteer at a Primary school in Scotland and have been in weekly to a Primary 2 class (so ages 6/7). The teacher chooses an appropriate book for each group on a Monday and they are heard reading almost every day. Their homework bags are handed in on Wednesday, I check which book each group has been reading that week, write it in the reading record on Thursday and they take that home with them until the following Wednesday.

When the kids get their new book on Monday the teacher reads through it and on Thursday or Friday they do a reading comprehension worksheet. This means each child is listened to at least 3 times a week at school, has done a worksheet on the book and has it at home from Friday to Tuesday. Some of the better readers can ask for more books if they wish but using this method every child has a new book home with them every week that they have read several times. If a parent writes a comment in the reading record, or a reading record hasn't been signed I flag it up to the teacher so she can deal with it. I also remove the 'finished' with books and return them to the book store and I can assure the OP it is not a 5 minute job!

I have been doing this for a couple of years now and how Teachers have the energy and drive to do their job is beyond me. Every parent thinks it's only a minute or two to deal with their child but they forget that minute or two multiplied by 30 adds up!

I think more posters have been rude to the OP than the OO has been rude.

I've been there OP...in Y3 DD never changed her book. I was told it was her responsibility to change books. She's dyslexic and had no interest in reading. I gave up hoping the school would support her in learning to read, and just got her books myself. Job

There have been some very silly replies in this thread... I'm glad the OP has been able to laugh at them.

We have new books!!!! And guess why?

Thanks to THIS suggestion, it worked!

Thank you.

You need to make some time, once in a while, to do pick ups (take some annual leave for a day, so you can do this?) and make him get a book

Most working parents have to save their annual leave to cover school holidays and sickness. Many don't even get enough leave to cover those things and end up taking time off unpaid. The posts on this thread telling OP to just take a day off, walk out of work early several hours early or take a long lunch (she works for the NHS! She probably doesn't get a lunch break full stop, I never did) shows how out of touch some MNers are with the world of work.

Super. How many? 37?

God I love these posts..... We change books twice a week, I'm in Reception class. By year 2, children should be able to change their own books, with prompting. All the snippy remarks about time management forget that we have 31 children of varying needs and abilities, and I have a full curriculum to deliver, plus the general "housekeeping" duties. And does it fuck take 5 minutes to change 31 bookbags. If you can do it in 5 minutes, please volunteer at your local primary school

I’m a teacher and I add it onto my end of day nag. ‘CoathatbookbagwaterbottlelunchboxjumperHAVEYOUCHANGEDYOURREADINGBOOK? There’s always a muffled squeak and a quick dash.

so in this case, book changing would be very much the child's responsibility at a private school, and that the parents would appreciate this and view it as helping their child's confidence

Completely the opposite at DD’s school. The children read every day and choose books with a staff member to ensure they’re still engaged but that book changing gets done; this certainly happens in Year 2.

DD was an early free reader but still showed her choices to the staff member.

Arethere have you actually taught anyone to read? Just out of curiosity

Well I guess my own children together with school. Why?

I work ft and have the same issue and just (over) compensate at home to the point where my son doesn't want to bring "boring school books" home as there is much more variety and more newer books at home. I don't buy them all - it's library/charity shop/bookshops. Teacher doesn't care that the same school book is sitting in his bag every day for the last six months and he never exchanges it as she knows and can tell he reads regularly.

My daughter is incredibly disorganised and the senco has arranged the ed psych to see her (for other reasons too). I assume there's no sen reason

For what it’s worth, I was diagnosed with dyslexia last year and we are wondering whether DS has it.
However, I’m incredibly organised so it’s certainly not a ‘symptom’ for me.
I think he’s just being a 7 year old kid to be honest who literally needed it spelt out for him (no pun intended).

I’m taking that sign off his bag now and will be replacing it when his books have run out.

It was such a simple but effective suggestion. Thanks again!