AIBU or is the teacher?

[JustVent]

I expect it’s me. So any advice would be great.
It’s a very simple but ongoing and frustrating issue - School books.
DS, just turned 7, year 2 has not bought a new book home in months.
We write in his diary “please can DS have some new books.”

The teacher writes back
“We remind DS to get new books.”

We have new books. This goes on and and on and on. Still no new books.

He swears blind that no-one has reminded him .
And DH and I are in full time work so have to use a childminder. The childminder drops several children off in the morning some of which are reception age so she has to stay with them but DS can go in by himself. By pick up time she has up to 8 children with her and there’s no way I can expect her to leave them all to go in and get books. Or worse still, drag them through the hoards of people to get books.

The teacher knows we don’t drop off or collect.

I say, why can’t the teacher tell DS to go and get books and come back and physically show her that he’s done it or see with her eyes that he’s put them in his bag.
She doesn’t even need to get out her chair.
Yes there’s 30 kids, but there’s TA’s and parental help.

I feel like the teacher is being difficult. No doubt the teacher feels that we are being difficult, and DS is certainly being a little difficult but “not hearing” the reminders.
Every day I remind him as well, I must add.

Write on his hand "get books"

I would second the incentive idea. I do think the teacher could be a little more helpful. My DS's school certainly ensure everyone goes home with a new book as soon as they've finished the old.

Obviously OP should be helping her DS remember but she can't be 100% responsible for what happens when she's not there.

I really don't think this child is forgetting accidentally or due to lack of prompting. I strongly suspect he's forgetting on purpose so he doesn't have to do his reading homework. If so he doesn't need more support, he needs a consequence.

Take a day off? I'm sorry that won't cut it. To make you feel really incompetent, how about you quit your job, home school and knit all.good from organic air?

It's just school, it's what kids have to do every day. It's not some magic kingdom. Kids generally turn out ok at the end of it. And I agree with the spellings poster, forgotten books are replaced with really boring ones.

Yabu. At 7, this is your sons responsibility. Are you telling him off when you discover his book is unchanged? Or are you blaming the teacher in front of him?

If he's already read the books at home that are age appropriate, then get more. Library if need be.

Your responses to people trying to help were pretty rude.

Sorry I think you are BU, he needs to be responsible for this homeself. My daughter is in year 1 and they are expected to change their own books and have been since reception. A reminder at drop off should be enough. The teacher has enough to do with helping 30 children choose a new book every morning.

There was something I needed my dd to remember. She kept forgetting so I wrote it on masking tape and stuck it on her hand. She came home and said she remembered to do it.

Our school the teacher changes the books. ..it takes her 5 minutes and makes sure the children have a range of books and aren't choosingthe same one over and over and are on the right level. Probably a good thing because I think my dd wouldnt go straight for the highest stage lol

"Your responses to people trying to help were pretty rude."

No they weren't. They were humourous responses to the idiotic advice that only comes from the MN Parallel Universe.

YANBU OP. Ultimately the teacher should be ensuring that the children have a reading book. It isn't a difficult and challenging task for her. Frankly, if she, or the TAs and parent helpers are unable to manage overseeing this each week, I'd wonder what was going wrong with their time management.

Yanbu I would think that your DS could get some help every now and again. His teacher is hindering his learning if they know he's not getting books. Sounds like they've got their back up about it. Getting a book would take seconds out of their day, some kids need reminding a million times! And as a TA I would have been checking he had a new book. Even if you're that parent, changing his book would appease you and make everyone's life easier. Phone school, teacher might hold a grudge against you but you'll get books regularly.

We had a similar issue though slightly different as dc does have sn. They do plenty of reading at home and we have thousands of books/visit the library regularly etc. But reading your own books doesn’t count for the reading record apparently and if they haven’t read 3 school books in a week then they had to miss break time.
I would try offering an incentive to your son for remembering his book - we’ve had some success with this.

I’m surprised that he is going wo a new book for so long.
Yes he should be doing it himself blabla.
BUT the teacher is also supposed to be following how he is progressing with his reading. How is that going to happen if he always has the same book?
Also I would expect her to do some evealuation and to listen to him read. Surely, in that time, she should have realised he is still on the same book??

My issue here wouldnt be him having the same book but his progression on the year for reading.

Also worth remebering that it’s mid June. I wouldn’t make a fuss at that time of the year. I wouod have done much much earlier on in the year though.

But I don’t actually think it would be unreasonable for a teacher/ta to help the children who are known to forget to change their books. Your sons progress in reading does reflect on his teacher so I’m surprised they aren’t more keen to make sure that a child whose parent is keen to listen to him read has his book.

You do need to go in (one of you) and speak to his teacher. And yes you both work, but it must be possible (my DH managed it when we had real issues with our DC). Make an appointment.
Then discuss with the teacher how you can overcome this problem. What strategies you can put in place to remind him to get his new book.
Some children are disorganised. Some children are doing something more interesting, so procrastinate, and then forget. And some children are super organised and will change books, do homework etc. without a single reminder.
It is very close to the end of the school year, so I might well try to talk to his new teacher to make sure this is resolved next year. I would also do things like join the library reading challenge over the summer.
If my DC consistently didn't change their book I would find some way of making sure they had access to another book.books, even if this meant missing something they enjoyed to walk to the Library on a saturday.

Does it bullshit take 5 min to change 30 reading books MrsFruitloops. I used to do it - half an hour more like. It takes time to check back through each reading record and see which books they've had before. Id be pretty narked if one of my child's teachers had wasted 30 min on a job like that.

I think you should chat to your childminder about the problem and see what solution she comes up with.

Ds age 8 sometimes tries this one on, he gets his xbox time taken off him until he remembers to get a new book. Miraculously he seems to remember the very next day!

I don't really understand this. I have 2 DDs at primary school (years 1 and 4) and they're provided with reading books, which they then read aloud with us. We record in their reading records when that's been done and how well they did, then the teachers replace the books with new ones. The teachers also write in the record how the guided reading in school went.

There are also school library books, which they choose themselves, but this is for extra reading so it doesn't matter if they don't choose one. We have plenty of books at home after all.

That seems to me to be a much better way of handling this.

To those saying it's in the teachers interest to get him reading; I'm imagining by end of year 2, he will be free reading anyway (based on the fact that most are at my dds primary), so they're not worried any more? At our school, reading is no longer checked once they start y3, unless extra support is required. So, he probably gets to take home whatever book he wants to?

We're in a similar position - both of us work full-time, so we're reliant on before-school and after-school club, but fortunately our son's teacher has been more helpful, however he still 'forgets' regularly.
We ask the teacher to try and remind him, he also get a 'treat' if he remembers for a week (we do some baking at the weekend, or something like that)....but to be honest, it's an ongoing battle.

Even when they’re free reading they still assess comprehension and whether they are reading regularly still has an impact on writing and spelling.

Free reading at the end of Y2??
That’s far from being the case with most children. And even then, the teachers wanted to carry in seeing them read and to listen to them read for a while after they had reached the ‘higher levels’
Even if the child is free reading, he is supposed to do some reading at home and the fact a child isn’t (he can’t if he doesn’t have a new book) should raise a small red flag for the teacher.

Well at least it did at my dcs school.

I agree with PP's that incentives are a good idea - and if that doesn't work, might need to move on to punishments! He's probably now in the habit of forgetting (or avoiding!) and knows there aren't huge consequences if he does. Introducing some consequences might assist!

I don't think YABU to expect help from the teacher but she may well be reminding him and he's just not taking it on board - hopefully he can learn to take responsibility for it himself with a bit of a prod!

I used to have this oroem with mine so just started sending their own books. They're told they must keep them in their bags and I just fill in their reading diaries based on those books from home. We have a lot and all stages so I just worked through the biff, chip, kipper ones then on to harder ones from there. Never been an issue.