AIBU or is the teacher?

[JustVent]

I expect it’s me. So any advice would be great.
It’s a very simple but ongoing and frustrating issue - School books.
DS, just turned 7, year 2 has not bought a new book home in months.
We write in his diary “please can DS have some new books.”

The teacher writes back
“We remind DS to get new books.”

We have new books. This goes on and and on and on. Still no new books.

He swears blind that no-one has reminded him .
And DH and I are in full time work so have to use a childminder. The childminder drops several children off in the morning some of which are reception age so she has to stay with them but DS can go in by himself. By pick up time she has up to 8 children with her and there’s no way I can expect her to leave them all to go in and get books. Or worse still, drag them through the hoards of people to get books.

The teacher knows we don’t drop off or collect.

I say, why can’t the teacher tell DS to go and get books and come back and physically show her that he’s done it or see with her eyes that he’s put them in his bag.
She doesn’t even need to get out her chair.
Yes there’s 30 kids, but there’s TA’s and parental help.

I feel like the teacher is being difficult. No doubt the teacher feels that we are being difficult, and DS is certainly being a little difficult but “not hearing” the reminders.
Every day I remind him as well, I must add.

I quite like the kids' school classroom organisation for this - if you don't need to change your reading book you put your reading folder in your tray... if you do - it goes into a big box and then the teacher sends a couple at a time throughout the day off to get new books, and then put their reading folders in their trays. Minimal effort for the staff to do once the routine's been established and even DD2 who has SEN meaning organising her belongings is very very difficult for her can manage to do it.

Having said that - I've got a laminated list attached to DD2's bookbag with photos of everything she needs to remember to bring home that day and that seems to be helping her - so you could do something similar with a book keychain or whatever to help him out.

All ours (infant school) get heard reading once a week minimum - even DD1 who is pretty much free reading at the absolute top of the class does.

I've found notes in reading diaries can come across (on both sides) as a bit "snippy" without meaning to be though - just the nature of written communication in a rush and it probably wasn't meant as such. There've been a couple of times I've seen comments in my own kids and thought "oh they're having a go" and then stepped back and re-read it in another tone of voice and realised they weren't.

BarbarianMum half an hour once a week?Sounds more than doable to me.

@Tambien
When do most start free reading by then? I only have my survey sample of 2 children, 2 classes to go on.
But, yes comprehension etc is still checked after that, but there's far more choice in what you read. Dd, 7, has brought home the same book for about two terms, but it doesn't matter because she never reads them, just reads one of our books at home. She's been free reading for well over a year, so teacher doesn't mind what she reads. Perhaps the teacher in the ops case assumes this is what's happening?

half an hour once a week? Sounds more than doable to me

Then spend half an hour a week going to your DS school and help him chage his book

I'd tell him if he doesn't manage to change his book you'll be asking his teacher to get him to change it in his playtime..
Won't happen but hopefully make him think

Free reading at the end of Y2??
That’s far from being the case with most children

Eh?!

As a Year 2 teacher, no it isn't.

Over half my class free read by the end of Year 2.

He’s 7. He is more than capable of getting a book. Stop blaming the teacher for this one and start blaming your son.

YABU. I mean this in the nicest possible way, but your drop off/pick up arrangements aren't the school's problem - it's still your child's responsibility to change his book.

Try emailing/calling the office midday to ask them to remind your son or the class teacher. School office staff are usually pretty busy but good at passing on messages.
If you have to call them every week they’ll soon get fed up and ask the teacher to keep an eye on it.

I don't understand. Surely if he has to read to an adult in the classroom he would get a new book then?

Or is no-one hearing him read?

The debate about whether it’s your son’s fault or his teacher’s that he doesn’t swap his books at school is less important than the question of whether his reading is suffering as a result.

Does your son enjoy reading for pleasure? Does he read at home to an adult every day? Does he have a ready supply of new books at home, perhaps from the library? Is he at or ahead of where he should be, and has he made good progress with is reading in Y2? If that’s the case, school books really aren’t that important by this stage.

However, if he’s not a regular, keen and competent reader, I’d step up the home reading and provision of books, and put in place incentives for him to swap his books (followed by punishment if incentives don’t work), and arrange a lunchtime call with the teacher to work together on this. I know it’s June, but I wouldn’t wait until September if his reading is suffering.

Isn't that the teachers job? Don't they listen to him read at school? Sounds like a crap school.

My year 2 son free reads at home, for an hour plus each day. They still have him on level 10 or something, and they're generally very boring. I really couldn't give a monkey's what level they put him on at school though or if he brings a new book home. But if your son is still developing his reading skills, this is crucial. They are not doing their job IMO. Either way though, just have your son read books from home. Join the library or get on Amazon and buy them second hand for 1p each.

Nanny0gg at my daughter's school they listen 4 times a week however they do not read at school the books that come home so not changing home books may not have a bearing on reading at school.

I would also be questioning whether anyone's actually hearing him read. At DS's school each child is asked whether they've finished their current book and if so they have to go get a new one before reading to the teacher (or volunteer or TA or whoever).

Bit off topic but what actually is the definition of free reading?

@NomNomNomNom
My understanding is free reading is when they've finished all the levels at school, including chapter book levels. They then can just choose any book to take home, not from a particular band.

Online books? Free to read. The people behind Biff, Chip and Kipper have loads available.

www.oxfordowl.co.uk/for-home/find-a-book/library-page

I have a similar 7 year old. Fortunately I am at the school gates to vet him and send him back to swap, which obviously isn't the solution when working FT (been there and it makes home/ school communication much harder). Much of the time I'm happy for him to read something at home. He's not avoiding reading, just disorganised (suspected dyslexia could be a factor, also a long way from free reading). However, it is important that he has frequent access to the reading scheme books pitched at the right level to comfortably challenge him, and it allows the teacher to monitor his progress as she doesn't know the level of our home material and where they are too easy or challenging.

I would be concerned at a long term indifference to the changing of books for the reasons above. In secondary, it's not uncommon for teachers to have targeted students that they need to check for things like recording homework because they struggle with the organisation. In primary, it is normal for a 7 year old to forget these things, but they learn nothing by the natural consequences of forgetting. I think sending a reminder email/ message is the most practical solution. I can understand things sliding over the previous month with the pressure of SATs, but that has passed, and much of the UK still has a month of term left which is still a significant proportion of the school year.

The message on a jumper suggestion made me smile, most of ours need retrieving from the cloakroom floor first. They go into school one at a time and come back en masse. Maybe I should write messages on the jumpers to remind him to bring the jumpers back

@arethereanyleftatall Thanks for the info!

NomNom, while arethereanyleftatall is right that being a ‘free reader’ tends to mean that the child is considered beyond the top level of the school reading scheme, this can vary widely between schools as they have different schemes and different triggers for moving up the levels.

I don't understand. Surely if he has to read to an adult in the classroom he would get a new book then?

Nanny0gg this is the bit that I don’t understand. The person writing in the book is the very person listening to him read, who then tells him to get new books.
But they don’t come home.

And ‘LOL’ to the person who suggested taking half an hour a week to get to school and sort books out. I’m sure my work would love me to leave work 3 hours early once a week in order to collect some books. The NHS are known for being flexible like that.

Over half my class free read by the end of Year 2.

Lots of school are moving away from free reading and continue a structured programme throughout primary (and some secondaries) to ensure that children are reading a range of high quality texts across all genres.

So not every school is the same.

The person listening will select a book for him to read, he's then not following the instructions to get one to take home.

This is partly your issue to solve. Bribe him if necessary, with a treat if he remembers.

However, my four year old late summer child in reception managed to remember to give a note in yesterday and a form. Mine go to school breakfast club so I reminded DC at 7:30am drop off and it was remembered.

Try and think of ways to get him to remember. Star chart? Toy bribery. You just need to get him into good habits.

And ‘LOL’ to the person who suggested taking half an hour a week to get to school and sort books out. I’m sure my work would love me to leave work 3 hours early once a week in order to collect some books. The NHS are known for being flexible like that

Where have you stated you work 3 hours away from the school? Have you ever actually asked you're boss if you can have a leave day/morning/afternoon to sort the issue?
I am unsure what you want people to say, I was giving advice, you didn't want to take it, that's fine, there really is no need to be narky about it, If you don't deem it important enough to "leave work early in order to collect some books", then stop making a fuss over it

The OP doesn't mean that she works 3 hours away from the school. She means that she would have to leave work 3 hours early, as school finishes at 3:15 (and she would need to leave earlier than that to get there in time) whilst she finishes work at 5:30/6pm.

The best thing would be to book a day's leave in advance and arrange a meeting with the class teacher on that day. My DH does this, though he benefits from having flexitime, as he works for the Council.

Do you not have a library in your area? We used to get dozens of books out of the library.

You could also try looking online - many of the classics are now in the public domain and can be accessed online for free.