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Original poster

School and 'rules' re shorts under dress

467 replies

oblada · 20/06/2018 07:23

Before I take this further quick 'poll'; does your school insist that girls wear shorts under their dress if they want to mess about at break time in a way that could involve someone seeing their knickers? Would you expect a rule like this? My daughter is saying that her school and her after school club have told her off for doing gymnastic 'moves' during break time whilst wearing a dress with no shorts or tights underneath. She says she's been told it's 'rude' because people can see her knickers. She is 6yrs old btw. I think this is completely bonkers and she should be allowed to do as she wish as long as she is not actually showing her 'privates' to people on purpose. Underpants are underpants and are not offensive (to me). Of course I don't know yet how much she has actually been told off, or whether it's peer pressure rather than school so I'll go and ask later. But thought I'd gather some views!

OP posts:
Battleax · 20/06/2018 15:23

What strange messages these girls must be getting about female clothing conventions and their bodies

Was that necessary? As it happens I only wear jeans, so that’s irrelevant for me. But tops I often put a vest underneath if it’s see through. My choice.

What do you mean “was it necessary”? Confused

Think about it. We’re (collectively) teaching small girls to wear inappropriate clothing and then add extra garments to preserve their “modesty” with all the strange messages and health risks that entails.

CrackersDontMatter · 20/06/2018 15:25

Our school doesn’t but my dd11 chooses to. What I don’t understand is that girls are allowed to wear trousers as part of the winter uniform but must wear a dress in summer. Why not shorts? The school has also banned the gingham playsuits that would be ideal for my dd.

Battleax · 20/06/2018 15:26

What I don’t understand is that girls are allowed to wear trousers as part of the winter uniform but must wear a dress in summer. Why not shorts? The school has also banned the gingham playsuits that would be ideal for my dd.

Have they made any attempt to justify such a stupid stipulation?

SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 15:27

I’ve never once used the word “modesty”, not on this thread and not in RL. If me telling my daughter that she has to keep her arse covered in public is wrong then so be it.

She spends her life in skinny jeans and t-shirts/football strips outside school, only wears dresses very rarely.

How is teaching children to keep their genitalia covered in public damaging? I haven’t said anything about crop tops, tiny shorts, blah blah. Literally just about making sure her play isn’t restricted by uniform (that SHE has chosen).

But I’m the odd one? Ok then Hmm

SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 15:29

And the thrush thing is ridiculous. You could make that argument about synthetic knickers, leggings, skinny jeans and a host of other things.

If you’re predisposed to thrush you’ll get it, if not, you won’t. To imply I’m risking my DDs health by putting shorts on is fucking ludicrous.

Battleax · 20/06/2018 15:33

Well modesty is what you’ve been describing;

“3) Behaviour, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency.
‘modesty forbade her to undress in front of so many people”

[The Oxford English Dictionary]

Battleax · 20/06/2018 15:34

There are just so many solutions (sturdier knickers, culottes, shorts) that don’t involve extra garments added to complete outfits.

SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 15:35

Well showing her genitals in public is hardly being decent is it? Ffs what is your problem with me? Do what you want with your kid, but keep your snide little remarks about mine to yourself. Because what I do with my child is buckshee to do with you.

Battleax · 20/06/2018 15:36

It’s a debate Sod. It isn’t personal to anyone. I just can’t follow the logic.

SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 15:36

Clearly Hmm

CrackersDontMatter · 20/06/2018 15:37

@battleax the play suits were banned because of “toileting difficulties”. Which is ridiculous. I’m sure most children past reception age can pull up a zip. The school shorts (no culottes either) is “uniform policy” end of discussion. It’s just one thing on a long list of ridiculous rules to be honest.

Battleax · 20/06/2018 15:37

You’re Hmming me because I think replacing indecent knickers makes more sense than covering them up with an extra layer?

StepBackNow · 20/06/2018 15:38

Back in the 50s, maybe. That was the time of the horror that was knickers with "knicker linings" - i.e. you effectively wore two pairs of pants, and the top pair were baggy with elasticated legs. We really don't want to go back to that sort of nonsense.

No we didn't. Balderdash.

SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 15:38

I can’t see the difference between shorts and substantial knickers. It does the same job, so why either is a problem is beyond me.

Bar some high handed bollocks dressed up as feminism, I really don’t see what the issue is.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 20/06/2018 15:38

We've had this issue with the playscheme that the DC go to after school and in the holidays. The manager asked me if DD could wear shorts under a dress. She did until her insect allergy flared up and it hurt to wear the shorts. No one said anything.

Battleax · 20/06/2018 15:38

The school shorts (no culottes either) is “uniform policy” end of discussion.

How very consultative Grin

I don’t think schools will get away with this nonsense for much longer TBH.

ShouldofWouldofCouldof · 20/06/2018 15:43

I aslo worry about the messages these children are getting

age 6: go play flash your knickers dping hand stands and cart wheels and no one cares, let the world see your minnie mouse knickers!

Age 13: sends pictures to boys on social media of herself in bra n knickers..... NO NO NO THATS WRONG respect your body etc etc

Dothedamnthang · 20/06/2018 15:46

Yep this is a rule at my daughter's school too.

Battleax · 20/06/2018 15:49

The thing is, should, the need to wear Lycra shorts under dresses is being explained to the girls who wear them somehow. Presumably something along the lines of “You must wear these so that nobody gets a glimpse of your knickers when you’re playing.”

Children aren’t daft. They know that you don’t always/usually wear shorts under dresses. They know that adults don’t. They know the shirts are an extra. So the shorts are being explained to them as purely an extra garment for modesty.

That’s the difference.

ShouldofWouldofCouldof · 20/06/2018 15:49

@cracks have you seen the state of some toilet floors..its not an issue of children being able to undo redo them its the fact they have to practically undress just to have a wee. I tried a playsuit on my dd1 when they first brought the gingham ones out it went straight in the bin after i saw her attempt to use the toilet and the collar was sat on the floor..... yuck.not so bad with older girls but the little ones who dribble on the floor and seat then the next childs playsuit is mopping it up

SoddingUnicorns · 20/06/2018 15:50

Children aren’t daft. They know that you don’t always/usually wear shorts under dresses. They know that adults don’t. They know the shirts are an extra. So the shorts are being explained to them as purely an extra garment for modesty

So let me get this right, if I put just the shorts and no knickers on DD (so just the one layer) that would be acceptable?

tigerroundfortea · 20/06/2018 15:50

@Battleax
This is very obscure. My daughter loves to wear a dress and she loves to wear shorts.
If she wants to wear a dress I'd much rather put shorts under so she can run and climb and move around the way she could in leggings, I'm not going to tell her she can't wear them - that is play appropriate clothing. She wears leggings and dresses in equal measure. My son who is 5 wears girls leggings and princess dresses so don't get your knickers in a twist because of your prehistoric judgemental attitude that I may just be putting her in a dress just because she has a vagina Wink

Also I don't think it's about perverts for me it's about her and her body and being in control of what other people see

Yet another good argument for shorts, trousers or culottes.

There seems to be this bizarre type of parenting where you dress your child for the aesthetics (pretty gingham dress) and then imbue them with a deep sense of self consciousness about just living their lives in said outfit. It really is most strange.

Bibesia · 20/06/2018 15:54

Bibesia it's context. People are on a beach to swim/sunbathe among other things, so swimwear is appropiate.

So why is it out of context for small girls cartwheeling to show the occasional glimpse of knickers? I really hate the thought that we are seriously saying that is wrong, improper or "immodest" (ghastly word)

Battleax · 20/06/2018 15:54

My son who is 5 wears girls leggings and princess dresses so don't get your knickers in a twist because of your prehistoric judgemental attitude that I may just be putting her in a dress just because she has a vagina

Invent things if you must but don’t attribute them to me Grin

Skirts are terrible for climbing in. All the injuries I got at school were due at least partly to trying to do things in bloody skirts. I’d ban them for everyone at school. Though I’m guessing the princess dress isn’t uniform? Smile

ShouldofWouldofCouldof · 20/06/2018 15:54

And again though is a dress appropriate for hand stands? No its not. It is not designed for that. So for me if you want to do such an activity in inappropriate garments then put a pair of shorts on or at the very least knicks that fit. You wouldnt go to a Gym class in a skirt or hike in heels or go to work in your bikini. Or allow your 13yr old to show her underwear in such a way.