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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to buy my son a bed for his birthday?

104 replies

CategoryIs · 19/06/2018 20:39

DS is turning 4 next month and is all of a sudden very long and tall, and I often find him with limbs hanging out his toddler bed.
Would it be mean of me to get him a new bed as his birthday present? I would put it all together as a surprise for him with nice new duvet covers and balloons, but I can't decide if it is actually not very exciting for him, or dare I say it... a bit tight. We don't have much spare money so would have to wait a good few months to buy him a new bed. He doesn't need anything for his birthday and has lots of toys - I feel like just buying more tat is a waste of money.... but also don't want to be mean.

What do you think?

OP posts:

SoddingUnicorns · 19/06/2018 20:41

I’d do it. The balloons and special duvet will be magic too.

Stompythedinosaur · 19/06/2018 20:44

I think it's a bit mean if you have an option, but understandable if finances require it.

Would it be an option to give the bed alongside a Lego set or similar, even if it's a smallish one? Or is there another relative who might chip in for the bed and free up some money for a toy as well?

Candyflip · 19/06/2018 20:45

I think it would be nice. Could you get a few little bits to wrap up though? They always seem to like unwrapping things.

frenchfancy · 19/06/2018 20:45

Don't do it. I remember getting a bedside table as a birthday present once. I had asked for one but I didn't expect it to be my present. It still hurts.

He is very Young, buy him a cheapish present for his birthday then go bed shopping together as he is now a big boy.

IlikemyTeahot · 19/06/2018 20:45

Sounds like a lovely and practical gift. I'm sure he will love it. Do you have a plan in place to set it all up secretly?

Bobbiepin · 19/06/2018 20:45

Any chance of a race car bed? Or something similar?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 19/06/2018 20:46

I think it’s a great idea! Make him feel special “grown up boy bed”...don’t see how plastic toy crap is any more special.

Paie · 19/06/2018 20:46

I think it's fine. My DD got a beautiful dollhouse toddler bed for Christmas when she moved out of the cot. She loves it! And it cost more than my bed 😂

Nanny0gg · 19/06/2018 20:47

Sorry, I understand your predicament, but what 4 year old boy would be excited about a bed as a present? He'd be excited about the bed but disappointed if that's all he got.

RagamuffinCat · 19/06/2018 20:48

One if my favourite ever birthday presents as a child was a bookcase. Based on that I say go for it.

Soubriquet · 19/06/2018 20:48

Yes this sounds lovely.
Much better than a toy which could be broken or lost at some point

A special duvet and a nice bed sounds brilliant

Might do this for dd at Christmas. She needs a new bed really

NomNomNomNom · 19/06/2018 20:49

I think a big boy bed would be a nice surprise - especially with a new duvet set etc. You could always buy him a few silly little cheap pressies to open too even if they're from the pound shop.

mnahmnah · 19/06/2018 20:50

We did the same for DS1 4th birthday. We got a cabin bed, duvet cover, lampshade etc in a space theme, glow in the dark stars and planets dangling from the ceiling. He loved it. They get plenty of other presents from family and friends too.

LeighaJ · 19/06/2018 20:51

Can you swing a "fun bed" for him? I think they tend to cost a bit more. Like a race car or ship?

Ishouldntbesolucky · 19/06/2018 20:52

Not mean at all.

Have recently had to buy my 4 year old a new bed and he's been so excited. He loves it!

Is there a way to buy a slightly more interesting bed - i.e a mid-sleeper with a little den underneath or something similar?

Most 4 year olds have no idea about cost. Maybe you could get a small toy as well and he'll be happy I'm sure.

MrsGrindah · 19/06/2018 20:52

When I was 10 I got a new bed and was sooooo excited. Tbf I knew I was getting it and chose it etc so there was no disappointment. Also obviously older than your boy so could understand financial constraints. But I bloody loved that bed!

Katescurios · 19/06/2018 20:53

We did for DDs 4th birthday last month, got her a midi bed with tent underneath. We built it while she was out and it was a surprise when she got home. She loves it and is very proud of her big girl bed.

Rocinante1 · 19/06/2018 20:53

Anyway you can sell the toddler bed and get a couple extra presents? It would be after his birthday, but he will just be excited to celebrate for another day. A 4 year old really won't understand that his bed is his present... unless you've raised him to understand that not everyone gets presents. You know your child best, if you know he will be happy then don't worry.

IDrinkAndISewThings · 19/06/2018 20:54

Not mean at all! We did this for our daughters 5th birthday and she was delighted. We got her a Kura bed from IKEA, dead cheap, you can buy a tent/canopy for it, tent ‘walls’ for it to make a play space underneath if you turn it as a high sleeper, she was chuffed to bits! We got her new bedding and decorated it with battery fairy lights, can’t recommend the Kura enough, is a play space that happens to have a bed above it

Matilda15 · 19/06/2018 20:54

When my DS turned 4 I re did his whole room as his main present which included a new bed. He just didn’t need many toys so this seemed a good compromise.

I painted it, got some of those massive superhero pics from B&M and put them up, got new avengers duvet, curtains, shade and rug and assembled his new bed. I then wrapped his door in wrapping paper so he could burst through and he loved it. The video still makes me emotional nearly 4 years later he was so happy. I did get him a small pile of presents as well which he opened and then when he went upstairs he got his last surprise.

I was a single parent then and money was very tight as I was working full time and had nursery fees and mortgage etc by myself on quite low salary and I was so proud I’d done it all myself.

TeacupTattoo · 19/06/2018 20:54

I think it's a great idea, with a couple of pound-shop bits to unwrap too. Don't be put off parenting how you want to out of fear of what others might think. I'm sure your son will go to bed in his new bed with new quilt snug and happy and feeling loved on his birthday - that's what matters.
(I got a new mattress for Christmas at 10 years old and was really happy!)

NewYearNewMe18 · 19/06/2018 20:55

He'll love it Op, with themed duvet, it'll be a brilliant present.

birdsnotbees · 19/06/2018 20:55

I think it's a lovely idea, both of my kids would have loved it, especially if you make a thing of it being a 'big boy' bed with new duvet etc.

Original poster

CategoryIs · 19/06/2018 20:56

IlikemyTeahot I was thinking of setting it up the day before while he is at Preschool, and moving his toddler bed into our room so he can sleep in there that night, and then we all go through to his room in the morning to see it all set up.

Nanny0gg Well, that is my question really, isn't it. There would be other gifts.

Agree with those saying it would be nice to have a few gifts wrapped to open, I would definitely do that, and as others have said he would get lots of lovely gifts from friends and family.

OP posts:

OlennasWimple · 19/06/2018 20:56

Bed dressed up specially (and bigged up in advance) with a couple of small presents to unwrap as well sounds perfect to me

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