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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to buy my son a bed for his birthday?

104 replies

CategoryIs · 19/06/2018 20:39

DS is turning 4 next month and is all of a sudden very long and tall, and I often find him with limbs hanging out his toddler bed.
Would it be mean of me to get him a new bed as his birthday present? I would put it all together as a surprise for him with nice new duvet covers and balloons, but I can't decide if it is actually not very exciting for him, or dare I say it... a bit tight. We don't have much spare money so would have to wait a good few months to buy him a new bed. He doesn't need anything for his birthday and has lots of toys - I feel like just buying more tat is a waste of money.... but also don't want to be mean.

What do you think?

OP posts:
PieAndPumpkins · 19/06/2018 21:22

You can often find second hand bed frames super cheap and in good condition - freecycle, ebay, fb marketplace. I'm not sure a 4 year old would (or should be expect to) be satisfied with a bog standard single bed tbh. Maybe if it was a cabin bed or something.

Oakmaiden · 19/06/2018 21:22

As long as he gets something he wants as well (like the cake) I think it is fine. However... I have a thing about balloons and small children unsupervised... so just wanted to make sure you had considered the potential hazard and move them out before he sleeps in it...

Sorry. Soapbox...

Snappedandfarted2018 · 19/06/2018 21:22

I wouldn’t do it, I agree with those who are against the idea. You're parent you are suppose to provide the basics. You can get cheap beds in Argos or Facebook selling sites. What next wardrobe for Christmas. I’m shocked people think it’s ok tbh!

Original poster
CategoryIs · 19/06/2018 21:23

kitkatsky I salute you. You have to do what you have to do. I bet your child had a lovely birthday and the shoes felt like a real treat. You will raise a very grateful human x

OP posts:
PeterIanStaker · 19/06/2018 21:23

I understand that money is tight, but a suitable bed is such a basic requirement I struggle to see how it could be dressed up as a treat. It's his bad luck that he had this unexpected growth spurt near his birthday and not in a couple of months time.

GoJohnnyGoGoGoGo · 19/06/2018 21:24

DS1 wants a cabin bed with a few extras for his birthday I was planning on doing exactly what you said. It won't be his only gift but I know he'd bloody love it.

Original poster
CategoryIs · 19/06/2018 21:24

Oakmaiden The balloons would come downstairs, absolutely agree with you!

OP posts:
littlemisscomper · 19/06/2018 21:25

How about a cabin bed with a slide? You can set it up with a den underneath (pinterest for inspiration!) to make it that bit more special. It needn't be hugely expensive either.

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Cabin-Bed-Midsleeper-Johan-with-Slide-Kids-Bed-/182297359244

Puppymania · 19/06/2018 21:25

If you can't wrap the bed cover the door way with wrapping paper and he can burst his way in. We did this to reveal a whole new bedroom once.

IsMyUserNameRubbish · 19/06/2018 21:26

@categoryls "bad day?" Who, me luv? No, just replying to your OP, about the fact you'd buy a four year old boy a bed, oh well takes all sorts I suppose, but in answer to your question, I actually had a really, really good day/week/month/life but thanks for asking. 👍😃

letsallhaveanap · 19/06/2018 21:26

Thats a lovely present and I am intending to get my DS a mid sleeper bed for christmas. Kids that young will get excited about the first 'adult' bed so it is a good gift IMO

Original poster
CategoryIs · 19/06/2018 21:27

PeterIanStaker I hear you. I think if he had his heart set on something specific, or say, had grown out of his current toys, I wouldn't be considering it.

OP posts:
MumofBoysx2 · 19/06/2018 21:28

Ah a special grown up bed will be fantastic, especially if it has new duvet covers and maybe a very special teddy too. And maybe you could hide some little presents in and around it and under it so he has to find them!

PinguForPresident · 19/06/2018 21:29

Both of mine got beds for their 4th birthdays, and LOVED them. They had some other presents to open (mostly cheap tat, because at age 4 they don't know the difference!). A new bed, with whizzy new character duvet covers and a new teddy was so exciting for them. 4 yhear olds are mad as hatters and get excited by the daftest things. Put a bit of spin on it, ask them what they want in their new bed (both of mine requested "an upstairs bed" aka mid-sleeper), look at pics together, pick out a few options. Its waaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than £100+ of plastic tat.

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 · 19/06/2018 21:29

Absolutely fine and if money's tight you be better off getting a single bed not a character bed but can dress it up so lovely with his favourite character/ nice animal bright duvet set n maybe nice cushion/ teddy and even pyjamas/onesie I'm sure he'll love it- I buy my son new pyjamas and bedding for every Xmas eve he's 6 and still loves it

letsallhaveanap · 19/06/2018 21:30

and I remember getting a black wrought iron mini four poster single bed for my birthday when I was ten and I absolutely adored it!! best birthday present ever!

I dont think furniture is a bad present for a child unless that child would not be interested.... I know my son would love a special bed for a present.... and I think a first adult bed IS a fun thing.

WellTidy · 19/06/2018 21:31

My DS1 would have been delighted with a new bed and bedding and balloons as a 4yo for his birthday. He really would have. He had no expectations whatsoever and would have loved that plus a get together (however small), some party games (we did pass the parcel at every birthday until he was 9) and a cake. And maybe some books (that I would have read to him).

I am trying to remember what he had when he turned 4. I think it was some wooden train set pieces. He too had presents from family and friends.

I am wondering what the expectations of some 3 year old children are, and why. Only you know your son and what he would like and value.

bluetrampolines · 19/06/2018 21:31

No. I got a very fancy kitchen implement for birthday once. It was still shit.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 19/06/2018 21:31

I think it's a lovely idea, and if he's anything like my kids, nanny and grandad and assorted uncles and aunties will be buying gifts as well so it's not like he's not getting anything else.

TheHonGalahadThreepwood · 19/06/2018 21:34

I think it's fine: make it clear that this is his "big" present as he's getting to be such a big boy. Can you involve him in choosing it, and choosing a new duvet set for it, maybe a new soft toy or blanket to take to bed that night or some new pyjamas he'd think are cool (character ones or similar)? And yes to a little selection of extra presents to unwrap too - just sweets, felt tip pens, new storybook, a bouncy ball or frisbee etc - most new things are really exciting when you're only 4!

We had all sorts of things for presents growing up - hot water bottles, toothbrushes, socks, all kinds! I don't think it's particularly helpful to instil in kids the notion that all presents have to be completely unnecessary and frivolous in order to be any fun, but of course there should be a balance.

redexpat · 19/06/2018 21:35

Something you want
Something you need
Something to wear
Something to read.

I think at that age its ok, especially if money is tight.

bobstersmum · 19/06/2018 21:35

My ds are both this age (4+5) and I can tell you your ds will love a new bed! My two got new beds recently and they still love them now, he will love the fact its a big boy bed, and if you can get him some of his fave character bedding and maybe one of those push night lights for the wall I bet he'll think it's brill. I don't know if it's just my two but they get excited about anything new!

yorkshireyummymummy · 19/06/2018 21:40

I think it’s a lovely lovely idea. Like other people have suggested you could do a new duvet cover etc.
For little presents how about a couple of posters?
Or you could paint a section of his wall with blackboard paint and wrap some chalks up.
I think it’s a great idea to get a ‘ big boy bed’.
And as for people who are saying no, buy a cheap bed and presents my advice is this - DONT !!!
You spend a third of your life in bed. Buy the best bed and the best shoes you can afford because you get one spine and one pair of feet - neither of which are replaceable.

He will love it - I love 💕 the suggestion of wrapping the door way and breaking through!!! Fab idea!

Dahlietta · 19/06/2018 21:41

Absolutely! Kids do find things like new beds exciting anyway. At that age I used to wrap up anything I'd bought in the last few months - school shoes, duvet cover, reading books, underpants. DS thought he had loads of presents and was delighted.