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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to buy my son a bed for his birthday?

104 replies

CategoryIs · 19/06/2018 20:39

DS is turning 4 next month and is all of a sudden very long and tall, and I often find him with limbs hanging out his toddler bed.
Would it be mean of me to get him a new bed as his birthday present? I would put it all together as a surprise for him with nice new duvet covers and balloons, but I can't decide if it is actually not very exciting for him, or dare I say it... a bit tight. We don't have much spare money so would have to wait a good few months to buy him a new bed. He doesn't need anything for his birthday and has lots of toys - I feel like just buying more tat is a waste of money.... but also don't want to be mean.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Snowballz · 19/06/2018 20:57

I don't think it's a great idea. I was made to have practical presents and I am still scarred. It's a very first world problem but it's tat they want. There's only a few years of tat and then they want better things.
I would buy second hand bedframe on Facebook and new kids mattress. Then buy him a duvet AND toys (don't have to be expensive. Can get good 2nd hand toys too) for his present.

NewYearNewMe18 · 19/06/2018 20:57

All I pick up from threads like this is some people equate "love" with monetary value an plies of presents. The Op has already said money is tight. And the last thing she needs is a crate of pound shop plastic crap cluttering up the place

oracle2811 · 19/06/2018 20:59

Argos and B&M do lovely Character Beds which my now 6 year old loved. I think the beds were Spider-Man, Thomsas the Tank, Avengers and Cars. Depending on what your little one is in too i think it would be a lovely present!

ShinyMe · 19/06/2018 21:00

For those talking about something to unwrap - you could always wrap the bed up! A gigantic parcel with a huge bow and some balloons...

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 19/06/2018 21:00

DD would have loved it! It wasn't for a birthday, but I think she was about 4 when I bought her a new bed with Peppa Pig bedding. She'd come in from school and go to bed! 😂

FASH84 · 19/06/2018 21:00

It's not really a gift for a child, you might get away with it if it's a race car bed or similar

Original poster
CategoryIs · 19/06/2018 21:01

Matilda15 That sounds really lovely! and you should be proud.

OP posts:
barleyfive · 19/06/2018 21:02

Sounds lovely :) Much better than buying toys etc for the sake of it; new duvet covers, maybe a fun cushion, new PJs and a bedtime story book?

Original poster
CategoryIs · 19/06/2018 21:02

ShinyMe Now there's an idea!!! I am pretty terrible at wrapping at the best of times!

OP posts:
Foodylicious · 19/06/2018 21:04

My D'S was 4 on Sunday
His presents from us were a set of MR Men books, a couple of cars and some Lego.
Last week we had a bed carpet fitted in his bedroom to be (still sleeps in with me haha) and a new bed.
So the bed wasn't as a birthday present, but I think it's a good idea.
You could maybe do a few small wrap ups and hide them under the covers.
D'S has found getting a new bed exciting, but we have talked about it alot and he has helped choose it too and the bedding.

augustboymummy17 · 19/06/2018 21:06

I agree with everyone lovely idea especially with balloons etc what kid doesn't love balloons Grin I would also add a few little gifts like books and maybe a birthday outfit?

Lastseeninadressinggown · 19/06/2018 21:06

I've done it and DS1 loved it. We gave some new pyjamas, a bedtime book and a much wanted cuddly dinosaur along with the bed and duvet and made it into a real occasion that evening. He's not normally a great sleeper but that night he couldn't wait.

Rockandrollwithit · 19/06/2018 21:07

My DS is 4 next week and he would love a bed as a present! He is already in a single bed and was so excited about having a 'big boy' bed. With this age, it's all about how you sell it.

Money is tight for us this year as I'm on mat leave. DS won't be getting piles of present but it really doesn't matter.

Alannahpickaver · 19/06/2018 21:08

I bought my daughter a bed for her birthday, when she was 3 years old. She loved it especially as it had princess curtains (mid sleeper) with princess bedding.

IsMyUserNameRubbish · 19/06/2018 21:09

I worry for some of the parenting threads on this site I really do, what excited little four year old boy would be thrilled getting a bed for his birthday, whatever next, a set of pans and a vacuum cleaner so he can cook his dinner and tidy his room properly. He's a little four year old boy, treat his as such.

InsomniacAnonymous · 19/06/2018 21:10

I don't think that a suitable size bed for your child is something you should give as a present. It's what you provide as a basic necessity, as a parent for a child, just as it's your responsibility to supply food and drink. He's 4. You shouldn't need to spend a fortune to buy him a birthday present as well as supplying a bed. I think it's wrong, sorry.

kitkatsky · 19/06/2018 21:10

My DD had shoes for her 3rd birthday as I couldn't afford them. I wouldn't do it if I had a choice but think it's ok if you don't have an option

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts · 19/06/2018 21:10

I think if it's a fun bed like the ones with a tent underneath I think it would be an exciting present. But a regular bed not so much, even with a fun duvet cover.

And like others have said second hand is the way to go toy wise if you decide to give a few toys aswell. Less headache too as you don't have to wrestle it out of packaging or build it 😂 It was dd2 birthday on sunday I bought her a massive shopkins house with 4 dolls. RRP new would be around £160 I paid £56 in total from eBay and it was all like new.

Snowballz · 19/06/2018 21:13

It's not the amount of gifts it's the thought. If you ask a 4 year old what they'd like for their birthday and they say bed...then good and well.. .otherwise disappointment. You can buy things cheap/second hand and still get them in the region of what they want, we're not talking goldplated ipads.
As someone who was only bought practical things and as an adult generally ignored by parents when it comes to birthdays I can intellectually say 'yes they love me, doesn't matter about presents or lack of, but inside I still think it lacks thought and consideration for my wants. Maybe that's immature?!

Original poster
CategoryIs · 19/06/2018 21:15

IsMyUserNameRubbish Bad day?

OP posts:
Original poster
CategoryIs · 19/06/2018 21:16

InsomniacAnonymous YOU MEAN I AM SUPPOSED TO FEED HIM?!

OP posts:
Original poster
CategoryIs · 19/06/2018 21:20

Snowballz Thank you for a considered and calm response. I am more than happy to hear opposing views when they aren't an attack. You have brought up some great points and I think you are right, it might not be what he would ask for and I wouldn't want him to feel disappointment on his birthday. He probably wouldn't even think of asking for a bed. He has asked for a "chocolate cake with colours on" whenever I ask him what he would like for his birthday :) going to have to make that an essential!

OP posts:
Onecutefox · 19/06/2018 21:20

I would put a few small things under the pillow or a duvet. He would discover a big present and some treasure as well!

mancmummy1414 · 19/06/2018 21:21

I think you could get away with it at 2, but not 4. He will be disappointed that his only present is a practical item.
If money is tight, could you buy the bed and get him a few little secondhand bits from charity shops, Facebook free sites etc? Where I live mums are constantly passing things on through local mum sites, for either free or pennies and usually really good stuff too.

ShadowHuntress · 19/06/2018 21:21

We got our dd a new bed for her 4th birthday. Got her a midsleeper and got her a beautiful princess castle tent, new bedding. Set it all up and surprised her. She loved it. We did also get her some toys and clothes so she had presents to open. She said the bed was her favourite though.