To see the Headteacher over this?

[Wishfulmakeupping]

Have posted recently about thus all apologies if familiar but in a nutshell...
My very confident and socially dd started foundation last September.
Since then she’s gradually been going downhill- lashing out at her little brother, worries a lot, lost her confidence and sass really.
Last few weeks been in our bed every night she will go to school but worries beforehand.
Spoken to dd and teacher several times. Dd is unhappy as one girl I’ll call her Anna is very bossy and dominant over dd letting her play sometimes excluding her other times- happening for months. Recently Anna has been asking other dc to say things to my dd nasty comments, or leaving her out.
Last week I was in tears to teacher as dd has been so fretful of school and been having accidents, not able to sleep etc.
Teacher spoke to Anna and the other girls and said it was in hand- the next day at sports day dd came last in every race bless her and Anna shouted out ‘x is a loser’ teacher made her apologise.
Teacher has said to me it’s in hand but that she will not be speaking to Anna’s parents about her behaviour as ‘it’s not part of their long term plan’ ?!
Mentioned to teacher that if things didn’t improve this week then Dh would like to take things further her response was (and she was clearly annoyed) ‘I’ve spoke to head about it so go to her if you want to that’s your right’
Should I be going to head at this point?

Very much damage limitations I must add although the meeting started out pushing onto dd by the end they were planning sanctions for Anna which should have been in place months ago- still won’t speak to her parents

Meeting now fri afternoon I’ve got my notes ready.

wishful how did the meeting go?

My kids are grown and never subjected to bullying or was a bully. But if my child was bullying, I'd want to know about it and be annoyed if I wasn't.

Yes go to HT.

I've had a niece recently move school due to bullying and she's so much happier now. I used to think "don't run away from your problems" but a child that unhappy, is horrible. You're only a little kid for a short time, you don't want to be scared of school and people making your life a misery. It affects who they become.

Yes the school should sort it out. But if they don't, I'd consider moving her, if she wanted to go.

Yes absolutely go the the headteacher. You mentioned you cried, sorry OP, my advice is take hubby along with you as a show of solidarity and seriousness. When there ask that the long term plan is shared with you and ask them what the milestones, timelines and expected outcome are. Then as what is the back up plan if this does not work and the desired results are not seen.
I would then use something along the lines of..... okay so let's agree on the timeline and when we draw the line in the sand for things to improve.... if not then what are your plans......surely if the school is unable to deter such behaviors which are deliberately creating a hostile environment for your daughter (which are by now common knowledge amongst the students) would it not be seen as the school allowing and accepting such conduct?
At this point they will back paddle, disagree or ask what you would see as the next step.
You need to suggest that if the school cannot control and manage students with behavior issues through guidance or counseling (including A's parents) then there needs to be disciplinary actions starting with suspension, then inevitably expulsion as the final step.

It may sound harsh but I can see the perspective of both sets of patents. As Anne's parent I would want to know if she was being a bully so as I could bring her down a few pegs, as the parent of a child that is being bullied, god only knows the consequences it can have on kids these days, we all hear too many stories about kids taking their own lives because of bullying.
I truly feel for you OP. Put your foot down and stand firm and if the school ends up doing nothing, 1. Inform them you will personally sue their asses off if any harm eithe physical or psychological comes to your daughter due to their unavailing to control a bully of a child. 2. Have a chat with DD and ask her if she would maybe prefer to move to another school. Also maybe see if you can sign her up for some activities outside of school such as dance, swimming, horse riding etc where she can meet new girls who aren't in her school.

I really am shocked that the school won't tell Anne's parents. They're really not taking this situation seriously at all, hopefully once you've seen the Headteacher this will change. Hopefully the parents who have alerted you to what Anne's been up to will be prepared to back you up.

Thank you all- the meeting was so much more positive than I expected. The head same up with some lovely ideas to integrate my dd in a friendship group and ideas for building her confidence. She also said she did not agree with teacher about Anna’s parents and felt that based on what I’d said she feels like they need to be involved at this stage. I’m feeling hopeful that we could get things improving by end of school year.

Oh brilliant news!

How odd? Wonder what teacher's reluctance was?

Good new

Glad it's worked for you - and from what I've learnt after DD1's Reception year was utterly shit... if you're worrying that you might be being "that parent" you like as not aren't being. We had similar but since the class teacher's response to being told numerous kids were going around saying they hated DD1 and wanted to kill her was "oh yes they're all being rotten to each other at the moment aren't they tee hee" and the head was always going to be useless - we ended up with a school move (multiple multiple issues that I sat on and ignored for not wanting to cause problems until one was the final straw).

New school made a point of doing some social skills/friendship circle work with DD1 and it's really paid dividends - she's a different little girl now.

Pleased that things are moving forward