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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are there a lot of perfect people on MN?

67 replies

Pepperypig · 17/06/2018 13:31

Or AIBU? I feel I don't really measure up to the perfect individuals on here with their perfect OHs and DC. The ones who are perfect friends and never criticise anyone or gossip. The ones who work full time, run the PTA, volunteer at weekends and run up a dress for work the next day. I can only aspire to be like them.

OP posts:
xsquared · 17/06/2018 13:34

Nobody’s perfect. I don’t care what others are doing. I focus on what I need to do as an individual to better myself and do what’s best for my family.
Don’t feel inadequate op. Many of these “perfect” people probably think they don’t measure up either. I’m sur you have your strengths.

Flowers
whyareknickerscalledapair · 17/06/2018 13:36

There are on MN. They're probably totally fucked up in real life like the rest of us.

whyareknickerscalledapair · 17/06/2018 13:37

Or probably men posing as women to keep us in our place

Pepperypig · 17/06/2018 13:38

whyareknickerscalledapair never thought of that!

OP posts:
Succulentest · 17/06/2018 13:40

Personally, I'm often depressed by the frequency with which people reference lazy, sexist partners/husbands, who appear to think housework and childcare are the sole concern of anyone who has a vagina. If not having married a wanker = perfection, the bar is pretty low, I'd have said.

Bumpitybumper · 17/06/2018 13:42

I sometimes feel a bit like this too OP, although I also sometimes think I come across as a bit judgy and holier than thou when I read my posts back Blush. I think it's because when I don't have much time I tend to go straight to the point and miss out the context or detail that would show the imperfections in what I'm saying if you know what I mean?

xllhhx · 17/06/2018 13:43

Seems that way! But I have to say I'm just winging it 😄

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 17/06/2018 13:43

Are we reading the same MN, OP? Unless you consider screaming at strangers in Tesco for wearing the wrong outfit to be “perfect”.

FreudianSlurp · 17/06/2018 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CanIBuffalo · 17/06/2018 13:44

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Trufac Grin

pigsDOfly · 17/06/2018 13:44

I don't think you need to worry too much OP. They're sitting in front of a keyboard and I suspect a lot of them have 'fantasy' lives, in the same way that there are a lot of keyboard warriors on MN that probably wouldn't say any of the aggressive things in real life that they say on here.

I always find those virtuous folk who never 'judge' anyone a bit unrealistic. We all make judgements about situations, if you don't you'd never form an opinion on anything, but apparently some posters on MN are above all that and never judge another living soul for anything.

TheStoic · 17/06/2018 13:45

People usually describe their ‘best practice’. If it’s about their kids, or their marriages, or their friendships etc etc, they talk about their best days, or what they’re aiming for, not necessarily the daily reality.

HolyMountain · 17/06/2018 13:46

It's an anonymous online forum where 100's of people can say whatever they like and none of us have any idea how true it is.

Take anything you read here with a spoonful of salt.

Pepperypig · 17/06/2018 13:49

pigsDOfly I would love to meet some of these people in real life. I've never met a perfect person yet.

OP posts:
SluttyButty · 17/06/2018 13:49

I don't think people are entirely honest when sat in cyberspace busily giving their opinion, well not everyone but some are not entirely truthful.

For some the idea of a perfect life is the holy grail and they'll tell fibs about what their life is like, fake it until you make it.

And then there's the rest of us. Not perfect, winging it by the seat of our pants and totally aware that life can be a bit shit and unfair sometimes.

whyareknickerscalledapair · 17/06/2018 14:01

Look at the vile stuff people say on Facebook when they're not even hiding behind a fake name. Mumsnet being anonymous is going to give rise to even worse stuff.

whyareknickerscalledapair · 17/06/2018 14:01

(Well some of the obvious ones are hiding behind fake names of course)

Succulentest · 17/06/2018 15:13

You must be reading a different forum, OP. What I see on Mn purely because it's an anonymous forum where people often post for advice or to vent are unequal, unhappy marriages, problematic or abusive families, people struggling with finances or affairs or sexual problems or children with SN, people trying to lose weight or work up the courage to retrain/leave a spouse or job/deal with infertiltiy/loneliness. People dealing with normal human problems.

I'd be interesting in where you are seeing all the 'perfect' people.

SluttyButty · 17/06/2018 15:27

Succulentess there was a post earlier where the op said she had a perfect life and people were jealous of her but she was competitive always wanting to be queen bee over other women.

pigsDOfly · 17/06/2018 15:30

Bet she's typing that from her bedsit in Croydon (apologies to all those happy Croydonians on MN).

Succulentest · 17/06/2018 15:32

Yeah, I read that, Slutty but it stood out because it was so hilariously self-deluding. That's hardly the norm on here.

Yes, there seems to be a bit of competitive housework/tidiness stuff on some threads, but I can't get worked up about whether someone bleaches her worksurfaces every time she walks into the kitchen, or changes her sheets twice a day, so she can have fresh linen for naps as well as night time. Grin

SluttyButty · 17/06/2018 16:18

😂 at changing sheets twice a day for naps. Mine need changing but I can't be arsed and husband seems oblivious to his own sweatiness on the sheets maybe tomorrow...

user1485342611 · 17/06/2018 16:22

Are we on the same Mumsnet forum? I don't really recognise that description. Yes, there's a few posters who like to let everyone know how tolerant and non judgmental they are, and a few who like to boast about how often they clean the bathroom/have a shower/change their knickers but they're definitely in the minority.

There's lots of contrary slobs on here Grin

BellaJessica · 17/06/2018 16:27

I understand what you mean op buts its mostly make believe. Like its an informal chat forum but I have been critisised harshly for grammar on here. Grammar and spelling nazis.
Ditto the "I never gossip. My friends never make me angry ever" crew. Its just people using mn as an outlet to sometimes pretend they are different to who they are in real life.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 17/06/2018 16:29

You must be reading a different forum, OP. What I see on Mn purely because it's an anonymous forum where people often post for advice or to vent are unequal, unhappy marriages, problematic or abusive families, people struggling with finances or affairs or sexual problems or children with SN, people trying to lose weight or work up the courage to retrain/leave a spouse or job/deal with infertiltiy/loneliness. People dealing with normal human problems

Indeed. I can't think of the last thread I read where everything and everyone was perfect. But I can't keep up with the threads that you describe. There's so many of them every single day, makes hard reading at times seeing so many unhappy and struggling people.