At the end of last year I split up with my husband. I still cry because I still love him, even though he wasn't particularly nice to me. I'm hoping eventually that I get over him as he has been able to get over me.
So the thing I've been wondering is was I too hasty ending things? He was one of those 'life & soul outside the house, silent misery inside' types. Any excuse to leave the house, no conversation from his end and only minimal when I tried to start one. Happy to arrange nights out/overnight stays with his friends but would just put off any ideas from me. Never told me he loved me. Could barely say it back when I told him. I'm not making excuses, but he's exactly like his father.
And this is where my question comes in I suppose, because his mother & father are both retired but don't seem to spend any time together. No seeing different parts of the country, no road trips or holidays just them, no meals out. They always have others around. And when he does go away with his friends EXMIL always seems relieved to watch him go. However I've always envisaged my retirement to be full of little adventures and, in my day dreams, with someone who wants to share them with me - my best friend, the person I've gone through life with.
EXH always thought I was asking too much. And now, as I still cry over the man who so easily moved on (pathetic, I know) I wonder if I was. Are most couples just rubbing along? Or am I right in thinking that with most people, their significant other is the person they'd choose to spend most of their time with?
Do you think most married couples are with the person they like being with most in the world, or am I the fantasist my EXH thinks I am?