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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dp comments during argument

72 replies

purywl · 17/06/2018 08:42

Me and dp had an argument yesterday which resulted in him it not going out for an arranged dinner with a group of friends so I had to take dc aged 4 alone.

When I came back the argument started again and he called me a 'a fat c**t and that he was only with me for the child and didn't like me anymore'

I was truly shocked and he's definitely made these comments to get a reaction but I was livid and I replied that 'we are over' to which replied I already made that clear. We haven't spoken since.

I'm so angry and I feel he meant what he said, where do I go from here

OP posts:
Nousernameforme · 17/06/2018 08:44

If it's done ask him when he plans to leave and does he need any bin bags for his stuff?

AnneLovesGilbert · 17/06/2018 08:44

He’s a twat and no one deserves to be spoken to like that so to make sure it doesn’t happen again you pack your bags or tell him to pack his, depending on your living situation and walk away from the bastard. I’m so sorry Flowers

NewYearNewMe18 · 17/06/2018 08:45

Where do you want it to go?

Pointless asking us if you should kiss and make up or go to a solicitor

SayNoToCarrots · 17/06/2018 08:45

What a prick.

Nousernameforme · 17/06/2018 08:45

sorry that sounds flippant but is there any coming back from that for you?
I would also ask for this to be moved to relationship board you are likely to get better advice there.

alittlequinnie · 17/06/2018 08:47

My ex husband used to call me "ugly irish bitch" during arguments.

Things never really recover when you say that sort of thing to one another.

... but I've got a zero tolerance to name calling in a "loving" relationship anyway - be that parent or spouse etc.

How is the rest of the relationship and what was the argument about?

OliviaStabler · 17/06/2018 08:47

Sorry you are going through this OP.

Ask him outright when he is moving out. He said he'd made it clear it was over, it is up to him to leave.

Troels · 17/06/2018 08:49

I hope he's packing his bags tooday. Surely he can't expect his child (who he cherishes so much he stayed for them) to leave the home they love.

purywl · 17/06/2018 08:53

We aren't married luckily and we currently rent together. I can't afford to live here without him paying half.

He won't leave without the child. He meant what he said. If the child wasn't here I would leave but I can't bring myself to do it because of dc. I feel so sick. It's Father's Day aswell and I can't even bring myself to try sort it for that's sake. He went too far.

OP posts:
DameSquashalot · 17/06/2018 08:59

What a dick.

Ask him to move out, then work out what to do with the house.

DameSquashalot · 17/06/2018 08:59

Sorry, x post.

purywl · 17/06/2018 11:23

He's said he wants to end things. He immediately said oh you can go live with your parents and I'll keep the child here as you can't afford it.

I won't be without my dc I told him to just be civil because I haven't actually done anything wrong. Fs

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 17/06/2018 11:26

Why can't you leave and go to your parents with your child?

He may not leave without your child, but you are allowed to do that too. It'd be very unusual for you to find you couldn't afford to get by as a single parent.

Beamur · 17/06/2018 11:31

Can you go to your parents?
It sounds like you both need a bit of time to cool off from this argument, but that's a really horrible thing he said. I'm not sure I'd want to try and fix it.

purywl · 17/06/2018 11:35

There's no chance he will let me take the child to stay at my parents. He is very much involved in his daughters life the same as me so he feels the same as I do that we can't be without her. But I would never hold contact or anything.

I've taken her out for some fun in the park for a bit. I text him to say why is he being so bitter I respect your decision to end things but it doesn't have to be nasty. We have a flipping holiday booked for August as-well.

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 17/06/2018 11:36

Take your child and move in with your parents

There's no coming from back from what he's said

purywl · 17/06/2018 11:36

@Beamur normally I would want to fix it but I can't get over the comments he made because I believe him. He's trying to blame me though typical

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 17/06/2018 11:37

Yes. Leave with "the child" (that's such an odd thing to keep saying)

purywl · 17/06/2018 11:37

My parents only have a spare single bed in a small house which is why he won't let me take her to stay there m

OP posts:
Makemineboozefree · 17/06/2018 11:38

Don't text him from the park – text your parents and ask them to come and pick you and your DD up asap. Stay there for a couple of days at least while you both calm down and can talk rationally about what happens next.

purywl · 17/06/2018 11:38

@BitOutOfPractice I know I keep saying the child when I should really be saying dc

OP posts:
Makemineboozefree · 17/06/2018 11:39

he won't let me take her to stay there

You don't need his permission. Is he normally controlling?

TyrionsNextWife · 17/06/2018 11:39

Is dc yours or are you the stepmother?

purywl · 17/06/2018 11:39

But if I leave he house then he's got his foot in the door to stay there so I don't want to be the one to leave.

OP posts:
Mamabear14 · 17/06/2018 11:39

If you are out on the park what's stopping you going straight to your parents with DC? Solicitor tomorrow to sort contact properly.

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