to think im being used?

[mariahbalenciaga]

For a start I know I’m stupid before anyone says it, I lack self confidence and I’m too embarrassed to talk to anyone about this.

I think my boyfriend is using me. We haven’t been together that long and in that time he’s never shown any desire to take me anywhere, just wants to “chill” with me and have sex, he has no job and sells weed (catch I know) but never has any money, he’s borrowed about £170 off me in 2 months, £70 was for “stuff to do with me” aka paying a phone bill so he could talk to me and the £100 was to pay off borrows off his mates.

He constantly accuses me of cheating and being up to something to the point where I’ve deleted all social media. He says he loves me but I don’t think so, never shows any emotion towards me or anything positive.

I dunno what to think and if I am being used, how does someone with no self esteem grow the lady balls to leave?

To be clear,there isn’t a just to prefix that, that behaviour is still abuse/coercive
Ok,so any mates, family have a word warn him off?

I just can’t bring myself to admit to anyone that he’s so bad.

He's abusing you if he's so paranoid and controlling that you're having to delete all your social media to appease him.

Know it's incredibly hard when you lack confidence to break away from a relationship like this but for your own sanity I'd really get out ASAP, it's at the start of your relationship and he's already this cold and treating you like a bank, if it's like this now then I'd dread to imagine what he'll be like when you've been together a while.

Have you considered seeing your GP and explaining your lack of confidence, sounds like you suffer from anxiety and some counselling might help?

www.womensaid.org.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9dDmjLnZ2wIV5b3tCh1R_gDUEAAYASAAEgL4APD_BwE

Womans aid might be useful also, is there anyone you can you stay with in the time being?

You can do this and no one deserves to be made to feel like this, especially by their partner!

You don't have to tell anyone anything except it didn't work out and it's over. Which will be true.

I deleted it for that and seeing him constantly liking girls pictures who look nothing like me made me feel worse about myself because he never says anything nice to me. So I guess it’s the pair of us are bad

I agree completely with @echt

Leave and your self esteem will increase, because you have done something that has taken you courage and required you to place value yourself, also this person is likely damaging your self esteem.

The longer you stay, the more damage to your confidence and self esteem and the more time lost that you could be using in better ways for yourself and others.

Ok.so quietly get your head around this,internet but clear your browser history
0r search in private mode

OP, I was very happily married for decades when my husband died suddenly. I'm not telling you this for sympathy as it's a while ago and I've built a new, if different life. That is the point I'm making. YOU can make a new but different life, judging by your answers here you know it will be different but so, so much better.

My DC are all grown up and I live alone, within the space of a year I went from a wife and mum to living alone as one DC had their wedding planned and another toddled off to Uni within months of me losing my hubby.

I coped, I grew, I learned how to fill my time in and out of the home.

Please, please, don't let this man drag you down any further, you are worth so much more than that.

He called me a paypig last week and a sugar mama “as a joke” but I don’t think it’s a joke

That isn't a joke. He is telling you bluntly how he views you - you need to listen.

What do you actually like about him?

He sounds horrible, he's treating you disgustingly and you can do better. What will you lose if you get rid of him? You haven't been with him very long and you'll be no worse off than you were before.

You're not stupid and it's great that you've asked for advice, you know something is wrong as much as we do. Please break up with him. He's not worth the ground you stand on. You're so much better than this.

I don’t know what I like, I guess there’s just something

You are afraid of being alone, but why? What is so scary? You met him, why can't you meet someone nicer? YOU CAN!

Please don't let him carry on treating you this way.

Head for the exit, OP - it's only ever going to go downhill from here. Walking away will be tough, but it will also help build your self confidence. Save your emotions for someone who really does love you, not someone who selfishly says they do just to keep you around and treat you badly.

Oh and you are not stupid! You've been taken advantage of, which happens to many people. Don't feel guilty when he is the cock head

He doesn’t treat you with kindness, he doesn’t take you out or do anything for you, he calls you insulting names, he accuses you of cheating, he makes you feel crap and does pretty much NOTHING good or kind or caring for you.
He is not your boyfriend.
He is your jailer.

PLEASE get rid of him!
Have my first LTB.
You are so much better off alone than with him. And I’m sure you can find someone better!! (As pp have said, you couldn’t do much worse!)

I hope you can find the strength to stick to the decision that you KNOW you need to make.

Good luck!!

What kind of rubbish drug dealer doesnt have money!!

Get rid

Well, why the fuck Re you with him? Get some self esteem and realise he's a waste man

Love it kiwigeekmum
araiwa probably one that doesn't pay his dealer up the line iyswim
He's a complete waste of space clearly. If you can't even get being a low life right what can you get right?
Rhetorical obviously

Tell me hes fabulous in bed. <span class="line-through">I already know hes not.

Listen to lots of women singing about how they don`t need a man. Find things to do that make you happy. Then make a spreadsheet of YES and NO things. YES to a job and good relationships. NO to drug dealing, name-calling and being a fuckwit.

Oh darling, be brave and end it. You won’t regret it in thr long run, but in the horrible short term we’ll be here to hold your hand

He constantly accuses me of cheating and being up to something to the point where I’ve deleted all social media. He says he loves me but I don’t think so, never shows any emotion towards me or anything positive.

You abusive boyfriend is trying to isolate you.
You need to dump him before it gets any worse. I assure you it will get worse.

He actually is a good fuck lol

Again, I lack confidence and believe I can’t find anyone better.

You're articulate, self-aware and wise, just scared, judging by your posts.

Trust me - someone with those traits can do better than the man-child you're putting up with at present.

He's not just using you, he's abusing you. He's taken money from you, he's isolating you by making you delete social media, he's verbally abusing you with name calling, he's paranoid. If you feel sure he'd not hurt you physically, then ghost him. If you're in any way afraid for your safety call women's aid and get a safety plan in place before you leave him (if you've got pre school age kids your health visitor can help). The paranoia is ringing alarm bells for me, so I suspect the latter is the best bet. I appreciate if you lack confidence then seeking help may put the fear in you, but you need to get out, because he'll only escalate his abusive behavior given the time.

I told him how I feel and he’s left me anyway. I feel sad and I dunno why