To think opinions should be kept to themselves regarding someone's parenting?

[am89]

I bought tickets for my family to see Hamilton the Musical in London back in January 2017, and last week we finally went! My dd aged 7 also came with, who had been obsessed with seeing the show for 22 months thanks to my sister who introduced her to the songs. I briefly mentioned to a mum at pick up that we were going to see the show that evening, she never heard about the musical.
Today, that mum came up to me telling me that she done her research on the show and told me that she thinks it’s disgusting that I took my dd to see something like that. If you’re unaware of the show, it’s about Alexander Hamilton (a founding father) and his life, which includes the revolutionary war and his love life (in which he has an affair). Now in the show there are a few F bombs, innuendos, mentions of sex, duels, as well as a song about the affair Hamilton has. You could listen to said song and imagine a very ‘rude’ scene, however it’s not in the slightest, there’s a kiss shared and a few ‘touches’ of the chest all in full clothing, however this part lasts no more then 20 seconds. I knew this wasn’t a ‘rude’ scene as I did my research before booking a ticket for my dd. The mum told me she listened to the song and thought it was vulgar and that I was insane in letting my 7 year old watch a show like that, and that my parenting style is going to expose my daughter to unpleasantness at such an early age. The age recommendation of the show is 10, the age limit into the theatre is 4. I politely responded with ‘you should really keep your unwanted opinions to yourself’ and then I walked away. This mum has then told another mum ( will call her mum 2) what I responded with and informed her that I was allowing my children to watch shows that is going to ruin their childhood, she even then told mum 2 that she was debating whether or not to take this issue further and address it to the school. Mum 2 then told me what she said as I’m friends with her. I was questioning whether mum 2 was stirring but mum 1 has had ‘drama’ with lots of other mums at school and has a real issue in going into the school about EVERYTHING. Do I just leave this and see where it ends up to or aibu to just want to message the mum giving her my opinion on the matter. I’ve never experienced such weirdness in my life. I made the decision to take my dd to see the show, I fully knew what to expect, and I even briefed her on the show before hand. I don’t understand why people can’t keep their opinions to themselves, especially when they know it’s going to annoy people.

Sorry it’s such a long post, I’m just a little angered.

Ignore her. People like that get off on the drama of it. Nothing you say will change her mind anyway. School will likely roll their eyes and ignore it.

Jealous though - would love to go see Hamilton! Hope you enjoyed it!

I'm the mum I'm afraid. 7 years old is not really an appropriate age for sex, drugs, swearing and affairs.

Friends have mine went o see it and they said it was quite an emotionally intense show and had many people welling up. I'm.not convinced it's a show for 7 year olds. Even 10 would involve missing a reasonable amount of it.

She may have been obsessed with thr songs, but doesn't mean needing to say see the show.

The mum was wrong to start gossiping about taking it further with school, but I don't think she has a surprising view on the show not being for children.

*I'm with the mum
(Ps Does anyone know why android keeps deleting final words on sentences, especially when pressing enter?)

I'm of the belief that whether or not you feel it's appropriate for your child is your business. It's a subjective matter and I'm unsure what the other mother expects the school to do??

Ha, let her take it to the school! Jesus, in this terrible world where some children are abused and neglected what are they going to say? ‘Ooh, you’re in trouble for taking your child for one of the most celebrated, innovative and sought-after cultural events of our age’?

What a judgmental dick she is.

Thank you Gingerivy, I didn’t believe the hype prior to the show but my god, it was incredible. I’ve booked more tickets to see it in August as I thought it was so fantastic.

No drug use in the show I’m afraid Maisypops , it is a very sad show I have to admit, however my daughter knew this, she has listened to the 2 and half hour album (the show is in all song/ rap) countless of times so understands what is happening. I understand that some parents will think it’s not appropriate and I get that, but it completely depends on the child, and whether they are mature enough.

So it's okay to "ruin" a 10 year old then.. ha, what poppycock. Let her enjoy the show. Plus girls are more mature than boys so she is probably as smart as a 10 year old boy anyway x

am89 so glad you enjoyed it! One day I'll see it, I hope!

I think if you feel your child is mature enough to watch it, that it's your decision. If nothing else, it provides a wealth of opportunity to have discussions about various subjects as well as discussion about history. (can you tell we home ed? everything is a learning experience!)

Ignore. That Mum will probably tell you to not take Dcs to a production of Macbeth because people die. I took Dd to an amateur production of 'Miss Saigon' when she was 10. All she remembers is that DS's best friend was singing and she was amazed at well he could sing.

I took DD to see The Little Matchgirl , there was a minimum age limit and TBH the storyline is well known (DD would've been 11/12yo)

There was a gor behind us getting upset and the Mum saying "Oh no she's not dead she's sleeping"

Have you never read the story I thought ? I didn't turn and say "Face it kid, the girl has corked it" but I was sooooo tempted

I've found this to be the kind of thing which divides parents quite a lot, and I've thought about it a great deal over the years (my DD now 16, so not so much of an issue any more).

I think parents often have strong views over (for example) a child seeing a film with an older age certificate (eg a child younger than 12 seeing a 12 film, etc). I've had some long debates with my favourite cousin about this. She feels "there's a certificate on it for a reason) and when he was younger, never let her DS see anything he was too young to see.
Some kids are more sensitive, some get bad dreams, some will go on to play inappropriate make believe games afterwards, etc.

Personally, I disagree with my cousin. I felt I knew my DD and what would upset her and what she'd be fine about. Sometimes I pre-watched, but basically I used the certification as a guide rather than a rule. I made one mistake, which I still feel bad about. But mostly I think I got it right.

People will agree or disagree with me.

And then we have the whole on-line world. Loads of kids play games like GTA and the like while they're loads younger than 18.
I work in a primary school, and I reckon most of KS2 have been playing Fortnite. It's certificate 12.
Loads of kids have accounts for YouTube, Snapchat, Instagram, etc. These start at 13 and some are for over 16s.

And I've not even mentioned song lyrics, or the fact that loads of primary school age kids watch tv that's on after the watershed.

Sorry, I'm rambling rather than offering suggestions for your issue. WRT that, I wouldn't contact the mum or the school. If she tells the school I'd be surprised if they did anything; and if they did ask you about it I think saying that you'd researched it would be enough.

Where on earth do you all live that a random school mother would approach you and say this? Or offer a rude opinion on your parenting?

I live in a tiny island where it's pretty much a goldfish bowl and nobody would dream of saying this to someone they barely know.
Sure we've got our bitchy, talk out of turn knobhead people but they get shouted down pretty damn fast.

I just can't get over someone random approaching you to offer their opinion on this! I'm not doubting you OP, I just find it laughable that everyone is so concerned with what everyone else is doing

You're very lucky Strokethefurrywall. This behaviour is pretty run of the mill for the home counties amongst the middle class mums. Lots of back stabbing, totally vile people.

am89
My mistake. I think I got Rent crossed in my head when posting. Sorry.

Personally, I'm in agreement with her on a 7 year old seeing it. I don't think it's particularly 7 year old friendly. It's not unreasonable of her to chat with you and express her view on the show's suitability

However, she was absolutely out of order to go gossiping the way she did.

What I would say (and I'm not saying this to be awful or to scare), is that school staff are trained as part of safeguarding and access to age inappropriate material is something we do have to flag. She's probably not wrong in thinking school would note it, but her saying she would go to the school with it seems particularly nasty.

I would judge I'm afraid. Enjoying the songs is a far reach from watching the whole show with the themes and language kid bare, and I'd be annoyed if I'd paid a lot for a seat and had to moderate my own language and laughs because there's a 7 year old in the audience next to me. I'd say nothing to you unless you asked me directly but I'd distance myself and my kids from yours.

Also if someone reported it to me professionally it would be a safeguarding red flag which I'd have to pass on.

It’s usually wise to keep parenting opinions to yourself.

However... I can’t actually believe you took a 7 year old to that! Wholly inappropriate. I’d be judging you massively, but I’d probably resist telling you to your face. The other mum only said what most people would think.

I think barbie sums it up on the difference between songs vs show. (E.g. the score for Miss Saigon is beautiful, but I wouldn't say the themes are appropriate for a child, the score for RENT is great, but no way is it ok for children)

Barbie what would your opinion be of a 7 year old watching Grease?

There's a lot less swearing and the sex is hinted at rather than explicit in Grease (unless the stage show is a lot spicier, I've only seen the film.) You have to think as well about the sorts of conversations and atmosphere you'd be likely to have at a theatre, I'd say Grease was probably going to be a lot tamer.

I don't think it is appropriate at 7 and wouldn't take my dc. However, I also appreciate not everyone makes the same decisions and so while I might say to you, if I knew you well enough, I wouldn't take mine, I wouldn't be making it into a personal crusade either.

If I saw this as a pattern eg other inappropriate content, I might approach the school.

I think it's fine OP! I did see kids in the audience when I went to see Book of Mormon, which was a little weird!

Having actually seen Hamilton (unlike most people replying here it seems) I would say that Grease is WAY dirtier and far more inappropriate than Hamilton! There’s barely even any swearing in Hamilton and the one ‘sexy’ song is just a man and a woman dancing together fully clothed. No dirtier than the two lions rolling around to that Elton John song in Lion King!

If you were taking her to see Book of Mormon that might be slightly more alarming, but Hamilton is great! And she’ll now know far more about American history than I ever did at 7 years old.

(Oh and I did see Grease at 7 and I personally think that’s perfectly fine, but it’s ridiculous to say that Hamilton is inappropriate if you’re fine with a child seeing Grease!)

I’ve seen Hamilton, and wouldn’t really have an issue with a 7yo watching it. It’s an amazing production, based on a fascinating sequence of events, and a mature child would be fine in my opinion. In what way is it a safeguarding problem?