To think opinions should be kept to themselves regarding someone's parenting?

[am89]

I bought tickets for my family to see Hamilton the Musical in London back in January 2017, and last week we finally went! My dd aged 7 also came with, who had been obsessed with seeing the show for 22 months thanks to my sister who introduced her to the songs. I briefly mentioned to a mum at pick up that we were going to see the show that evening, she never heard about the musical.
Today, that mum came up to me telling me that she done her research on the show and told me that she thinks it’s disgusting that I took my dd to see something like that. If you’re unaware of the show, it’s about Alexander Hamilton (a founding father) and his life, which includes the revolutionary war and his love life (in which he has an affair). Now in the show there are a few F bombs, innuendos, mentions of sex, duels, as well as a song about the affair Hamilton has. You could listen to said song and imagine a very ‘rude’ scene, however it’s not in the slightest, there’s a kiss shared and a few ‘touches’ of the chest all in full clothing, however this part lasts no more then 20 seconds. I knew this wasn’t a ‘rude’ scene as I did my research before booking a ticket for my dd. The mum told me she listened to the song and thought it was vulgar and that I was insane in letting my 7 year old watch a show like that, and that my parenting style is going to expose my daughter to unpleasantness at such an early age. The age recommendation of the show is 10, the age limit into the theatre is 4. I politely responded with ‘you should really keep your unwanted opinions to yourself’ and then I walked away. This mum has then told another mum ( will call her mum 2) what I responded with and informed her that I was allowing my children to watch shows that is going to ruin their childhood, she even then told mum 2 that she was debating whether or not to take this issue further and address it to the school. Mum 2 then told me what she said as I’m friends with her. I was questioning whether mum 2 was stirring but mum 1 has had ‘drama’ with lots of other mums at school and has a real issue in going into the school about EVERYTHING. Do I just leave this and see where it ends up to or aibu to just want to message the mum giving her my opinion on the matter. I’ve never experienced such weirdness in my life. I made the decision to take my dd to see the show, I fully knew what to expect, and I even briefed her on the show before hand. I don’t understand why people can’t keep their opinions to themselves, especially when they know it’s going to annoy people.

Sorry it’s such a long post, I’m just a little angered.

it was inappropriate to bring your 7 year old to that show. I dont know whether i would actually pull a parent up on it as I have no authority to comment but I would be judging you massively and shocked at what you consider ok.

slightly
It's all about audience and intent. Things dealing with sad topics for children arw different to sad things designed to get a large emotional response from adults.

Not all things for adults are for children.

There's ways to expose children to the upsetting things in life and have discussions about those topics without content that is aimed at older children or adults.

E.g. People can be awful and some people commit suicide, but you wouldn't use 13 Reasons Why as your way to show your mature 12 year old that element of life.

You took a 7 year old to see a show that’s recommended for 10+.
Your choice, (it wouldn’t be mine), but as you chose to tell people your plans (I’ll just bet you “briefly” told one mum at pickup), you might expect people to comment.

And as to the pp’s nonsensical “she’s probably as bright as a 10 year old anyway!”...
Sadly, it would appear that you aren’t?

Quite apart from the appropriateness or otherwise of the content, a 7yo is going to get a lot less out of the show than, say, a preteen or teen. There seems to be a bit of a fashion for parents to let their children read/watch stuff that will go over their head at best and see it as some kind of proof of intelligence and advancement.

I'd have kept my views to myself, but I wouldn't have been impressed.

It's also not just about being bright either.
The maturity difference between age 7 and 10 is actually quite big.

I have some very bright year 7 students (easily as bright as some Year 10 students), but I wouldn't give them a book with themes aimed at 15 year olds when they are 12 just because they may be bright and appear mature for their age

This thread is ridiculous. I think I can count on one hand the number of people commenting who have actually seen the show, yet everyone is ‘shocked’ and passing judgment. And I’m still chuckling at the PP who said the sex in the full version of Grease was less explicit than in Hamilton! In the film version of Grease, two characters have a lengthy discussion about a condom right before having sex in a car. There’s a whole plot line about a pregnancy scare. Someone sings a song with the lyric ‘pussy wagon’. Someone turns up to a diner covered in hickeys. There’s an entire song about how one character is a virgin. I could go on but you get the idea...

I’ve seen it and tbh the rapping is that intense you mainly miss the swearing!
It’s a wonderful musical-and i’d Take a 7 year old over that then many of the more established musicals (Les Mis for example)......and considering some of the stuff they show on the soaps, Hamilton is tame!

Yanbu, i bet all the teachers roll their eyes when this arsehole comes into school

I took my dd to see Everybody’s Talking About Jamie for her 10th birthday, she absolutely loved it

Meant to say, i’d love to see hamilton, am jealous

And no way would I let a 7yrar old watch Grease - it’s like comparing chalk and cheese

But I also was judged for letting a 14yr old watch Deadpool by a woman who’s 14 year old has watched ‘80’s slasher movies

Hardly ridiculous

Parent takes child of 7 to a show known for having older topics and being quite emotionally challenging. The theatre company say 10 and over.
Other people have views over whether topics/themes/productions are for children.

Everyone I know who has seen it has come out saying how amazing it was and how upsetting parts of it were. They were grown adults.
I love your suggestion that nobody should have a say on anything they haven't seen.

I've never played GTA. I don't think 18 rated video games promoting and normalising violence against women should be played by 12 year old children. I guess we should say that's totally cool as long as the parent likes it. Oh and the thread about a dad wanting to watch love island with a child. Everyone on that thread was wrong to say that was inappropriate too, after all it's just a bit of sex and it's nobody's business to have an opinion on that either

I booked the tickets as my daughter was ‘obsessed’ with the show, and the history of it, as well as myself wanting to see the show due to how many awards it has won and the hype of it. I’m very glad I took her, she loved every second of it, and told me she was so upset when it finally finished. She was so fascinated by the show that she wasn’t fidgety or ‘annoying’ to sit near, and when I did look at her, majority of the time she was lip syncing to the songs.

The show has swearing in it, but a lot of the time the songs are in rap, so swear words completely go over your head, and it’s nothing she hasn’t heard before. The sexual themes are very brief, and nothing to shocking. The show is rather upsetting nearer the end of act 2, I did shed a tear during one scene, however me and my daughter knew what to expect and knew just before the song occurred that it may pull on our heart strings, due to the fact that we have listened to the soundtrack a ridiculous amount of times. At no times did my daughter find the show frightening.

I understand some of you will find my decision to take her as being very inappropriate for her age. But I stand with my decision on taking her, and she’ll be going to watch it again come August.

If you think my decision to take her to see Hamilton is bad, then I best keep my lips closed when it comes to other musicals/ films she’s watched.

Oh god most kids have probably seen and heard far worse. God id sit on the stairs and watch through the crack on the door. My parents were dead strict I'd not be allowed to watch anything deemed "unsuitable" they were mortified to discover I'd been sneakily watching horrors since I was 9.

Wonder if these mum's are the same ones who have the music channels on and who's kids play things like fortnite...

Think a child is capable of knowing stuff is fake and it's all make up etc they hear far worse at school and often aimed at them which is more damaging than accudebtky hearing the f word in a musical that most likely gets missed unless you make a big deal out of it

I love your suggestion that nobody should have a say on anything they haven't seen.

I’m not suggesting that. Saying that based on what you’ve heard, you wouldn’t personally take a seven year old to it: that’s one thing. I think your responses have been some of the more measured ones on here, Maisy, for what it’s worth.

Saying that you’re ‘shocked’ and that you would judge someone’s parenting and that you think the school should have safeguarding concerns about this parent based on absolutely fuck all, and then going on to say that you’d be fine with a seven year old watching Grease... those are the posts I’m calling ridiculous.

I wouldn’t have gone to see this aged 7 because I’d probably have been bored. Having said that, I was OBSESSED with Joseph when I was a kid and that has some pretty adult themes too (I wouldn’t say that Say No To This in Hamilton is any more explicit than Potifer’s wife trying to seduce Joseph)

Ah right lisa I thought you were lumping all of us who hadn't seen it into the same camp. Sorry.

Don't get me wrong, I think the parent was totally out of order for gossiping how she did and going on about reporting to school was nasty (in my opinion).

In school, if we were hearing age inappropriate content then we would have to log it. Safeguarding guidance tells us we have to.
E.g. I have forms in for 12 year olds playing GTA
It's not age approrpiate content and whilst I'm sure nany children play it abd are just fine, professiobally that's not my call to make. It's an 18. The child was 12. As it happened, coupled with other issues that emerged for that child, it formed a picture that suggested the child was not really experiencing life as a 12 year old. Lots of violent content, awareness of sexual activity beyond a typical 12 year old and increasing levels of aggression and awful attitudes to girls.

No school is seriously going to call social services over seeing a musical like Hamilton, but if put together with topics of discussion and knowledge of issues that aren't child material, multiple age inappropriate material then there may be a case to say this is a child being exposed to inappropriate content.

No worries Maisy, and likewise sorry that my post was a bit arsey!

I completely get that exposing children to age-inappropriate content is a safeguarding concern, but I think it’s pretty clear that a musical like Hamilton (or even Grease!) doesn’t really fall into the worrying category by itself. Plus it sounds like this parent’s main concern is the song ‘Say No To This’ which deals with the start of an affair, and I seem to remember has one lyric about the woman ‘opening her legs’ which I imagine might be where the mum’s outrage is coming from. The thing is though, at that age I remember not even remotely registering things like that! As Grease has been mentioned, I’ll say that I actually watched it very recently for probably the first time as an adult and I was quite shocked by all the blatant sex talk and innuendo that passed me by as a child. I don’t think I even realised Rizzo had a pregnancy scare

I doubt anything with "a few F-bombs" is going to be rated as suitable for 7 year olds in my eyes, that's definitely language I'd shield my children from. For the record I wouldn't take a 7 year old to see Grease either, but the rating for the film is a PG which suggests it would be ok for slightly older children. Not sure why that's contradictory?

Are there F-bombs in Hamilton? I can’t remember any specific ones. I remember a couple of bits where someone’s clearly about to say it then gets interrupted (“something something down on his luck, that was my wife that you decided to-“ “what?”) but I can’t remember if it ever actually gets said.

This thread has made me listen to the soundtrack again. It’s so good!

I think it's contradictory to say you think some swearing and one song referencing an affair (which is criticised within the narrative and the fallout to both him and his family is explored) is worse than a musical containing multiple sexual references as above. I guess where we differ is that I don't particularly see an issue with my kids hearing swear words in context (or even occasionally out of it) but the way sex is dealt with in Grease is something I would prefer them not to see until they are older. So I exercise parental discretion.

I think Grease really should be a 12 rating in all honesty - I think for some time that rating didn't exist so it was either PG or 15, which is why there are a lot of older films that should be 12s rated too low or high. And why it's important not to just blindly follow the ratings that are in place.

Haha god bless the Internet, of course someone on Reddit has made a graph showing all the instances of bad language in Hamilton. Apparently it appears three times.

Er yes Maisypops hence I said But it is very dependent on specific circumstances/ individual children

There are a couple @lisasimpsonssaxophone - the one I remember is Hercules Mulligan's You knock me down I get the fuck back up again and in the original reading of James Reynolds' letter Hamilton says the fuuuuuck as a reaction - but equally some that are implied rather than said outright as you say

@Barbie222 my daughter knows that swearing is bad, and shouldn’t be said, however I’m not going to shield her away from it. She hears me occasionally swear, and let’s be honest we can’t stop kids swearing themselves at school. If I decided to shield my children from swear words then I guess I should ban my sons from going to football matches. Hamilton doesn’t consists of every other word being the f bomb, it’s nothing in comparison to musicals such as Billy Elliot in which children as young as 9 in the cast are continually saying ‘fuck’.