To think opinions should be kept to themselves regarding someone's parenting?

[am89]

I bought tickets for my family to see Hamilton the Musical in London back in January 2017, and last week we finally went! My dd aged 7 also came with, who had been obsessed with seeing the show for 22 months thanks to my sister who introduced her to the songs. I briefly mentioned to a mum at pick up that we were going to see the show that evening, she never heard about the musical.
Today, that mum came up to me telling me that she done her research on the show and told me that she thinks it’s disgusting that I took my dd to see something like that. If you’re unaware of the show, it’s about Alexander Hamilton (a founding father) and his life, which includes the revolutionary war and his love life (in which he has an affair). Now in the show there are a few F bombs, innuendos, mentions of sex, duels, as well as a song about the affair Hamilton has. You could listen to said song and imagine a very ‘rude’ scene, however it’s not in the slightest, there’s a kiss shared and a few ‘touches’ of the chest all in full clothing, however this part lasts no more then 20 seconds. I knew this wasn’t a ‘rude’ scene as I did my research before booking a ticket for my dd. The mum told me she listened to the song and thought it was vulgar and that I was insane in letting my 7 year old watch a show like that, and that my parenting style is going to expose my daughter to unpleasantness at such an early age. The age recommendation of the show is 10, the age limit into the theatre is 4. I politely responded with ‘you should really keep your unwanted opinions to yourself’ and then I walked away. This mum has then told another mum ( will call her mum 2) what I responded with and informed her that I was allowing my children to watch shows that is going to ruin their childhood, she even then told mum 2 that she was debating whether or not to take this issue further and address it to the school. Mum 2 then told me what she said as I’m friends with her. I was questioning whether mum 2 was stirring but mum 1 has had ‘drama’ with lots of other mums at school and has a real issue in going into the school about EVERYTHING. Do I just leave this and see where it ends up to or aibu to just want to message the mum giving her my opinion on the matter. I’ve never experienced such weirdness in my life. I made the decision to take my dd to see the show, I fully knew what to expect, and I even briefed her on the show before hand. I don’t understand why people can’t keep their opinions to themselves, especially when they know it’s going to annoy people.

Sorry it’s such a long post, I’m just a little angered.

I think parents know their child best, and the fretting people probably had more sensitive easily upset children who wouldn't have coped. 7 year olds can vary wildly in intelligence, resilience and emotional maturity and the OP obviously knew her daughter would be fine and love it - which from the sounds of things she was, and did. No business of the schools & id not be impressed by a school that decided it was a safe guarding issue. Yeah, parents that love musical theatre are child abusing monsters, true fact.

Blimey, this other mum wouldn't like Les Miz much or Miss Saigon either would she?!!
Really she's made herself look a bit silly...

I do think a lot of Hamilton would go over a 7 yr old's head tbh. But I also think many primary-aged kids are exposed to far more morally dubious stuff in games like Fortnite or 12A cert films.

Did your DD enjoy it though? I'm very jealous as I'd love to see it!!

She was very unreasonable.

You did your research and took your child who in presuming you know quite well

I’ve had an odd comment from a parent at school about the books DD reads. Nod and smile and ignore.

A lot of the answers saying it's unsuitable seem to be from people with very limited knowledge of the musical - I think the debate is probably very similar to those about film certificates. I tend to use those as a guide - I don't let my kids see everything of a certain rating, even one they're technically anove the age for. I use the rating alongside other available information. Similarly, Hamilton is recommended for over-10 mostly due to language, but none of it is language that I have chosen to shield my kids from so it didn't bother me on that count. Grease is certainly more unsuitable for primary age kids than Hamilton, in my opinion - and the movie version is rated PG which is technically suitable for over 8s.

I don't think YWBU to take your DD to see it - mine was 8.5 when we went and she loved it and is desperate to see it again. Like you we had been listening to the soundtrack for a good couple of years so she already had a really good grasp on the story. Tbh, if I hadn't had older children I was taking as well, I might not have taken her but she proved me wrong! There were quite a few kids there when we went (mid week matinee during Feb half term) and some were younger than DD. There were no disturbances from any of them - I can't imagine that many people would have bought tickets in the first round of the release (months before it even opened) without having at least some knowledge of the content and believing their children would enjoy it.

In terms of the other mother, she's obviously entitled to have a different opinion and I don't think she's necessarily wrong to want to have a discussion about - but it sounds like there is a history there that suggests it wasn't quite so innocently intended. Either way I would ignore it - it's not worth escalating the situation imo.

Whilst I might agree in the main with that Mum, only based on my ds when 7 and not your dd7, I certainly wouldn't be telling you my concerns and would assume [mainly] that your parenting includes exposure to some of the material included or that you were using this as a starting point and that you know what you are doing.

Completely YANBU

Sorry forgot to say - don't message Drama Llama Mum - will only lead to drama that you don't have a choice in. Smile and nod for now.

This mum has then told another mum ( will call her mum 2) what I responded with and informed her that I was allowing my children to watch shows that is going to ruin their childhood, she even then told mum 2 that she was debating whether or not to take this issue further and address it to the school.

That seems extremely unreasonable.

What would the school do?

I grew up listening to Greek legends, 'scary' fairy tales, biblical stories...

Aren't they just as inappropriate (if not more...) than Hamilton? There's a lot of cheating, death, murder, cruel behaviour / torture etc in those... But she probably wouldn't react that way if you told her about taking DD to church, right?

I hope you enjoyed the show! :)

Also, I'd simply try to distance myself from her.

Or be incredibly upfront and confront her in person.

But no messages etc... That will simply lead to more drama.

This woman is actually insane. I'm LOLzing at the image of her taking it to the school. What the actual fuck?

Ignore all these bores, you've done well to introduce her to the theatre so auspiciously. My one reservation would be the possibility of her disrupting people around her, but it sounds like nothing came of it.

“Thanks for the feedback” is my go to in situations like this.

I’ve no idea about the show, but it’s done now and even if you kind of wish she hadn’t gone that’s by the by. My boys went to see Ready Player One - totally unsuitable as I hadn’t realised they’d changed so much from the book - but what’s done is done. They weren’t affected by it.

SafetyLightsAreForDudes
My opinion of it is based on knowledge of the musical and that friends I went to uni went to see it last month and said that it was really upsetting and that lots of people were welled up. Apparently it was awesome.

But I don't think shows and films crafted to be highlt emotional for adults are ok for children. The subject matter is also not for children (in my opinion).

As people have mentioned Grease, I'm also not that convinced on it for primary ages children and at the risk of being an angry feminist, the entire principle of Grease gets on my nerves: meet a guy, you both like each other but when he decides you're not cool enough or good enough for him and he starts to brush you off in public out of embarrassment, change everything about your looks and personality for him so you can be together.

But then again, my MIL told me that she thought my sister's and BIL's parenting was abusive and dangerous because they were encouraging 'occult and morbid practices' ...

So yeah. Some people just feel the need to let their opinion be known. Or like to cause trouble...

change everything about your looks and personality for him so you can be together

To be fair at least he does the same

But then again, my MIL told me that she thought my sister's and BIL's parenting was abusive and dangerous because they were encouraging 'occult and morbid practices'

what on earth were they doing?!

jaques
True. But she doesn't ignore him in public and act embarassed to be associated with him.

The entire 'change who you are to get someone to like you' is a daft concept to me. I loved the musical though.

meet a guy, you both like each other but when he decides you're not cool enough or good enough for him and he starts to brush you off in public out of embarrassment, change everything about your looks and personality for him so you can be together.

Didn't he try to change as well? By becoming an athlete (and failing at most/all sports) and getting her the jacket thing?

It's been some time since I watched it. But I thought they both tried to change, tbh.

The entire 'change who you are to get someone to like you' is a daft concept to me

Oh yes I totally agree.

I'd like to know about the morbid/occult practices too.

@JacquesHammer

grin what on earth were they doing?!

All Souls' Day / Going to meet the death etc...

Yup, even more than half a year later I'm still

I wouldn't disagree on that front MaisyPops - the end of Act 2 in particular is very emotional (both I and 14yo DS1 were very teary-eyed) which is why I said that the other mother is not necessarily unreasonable to think it's unsuitable (although her objection seems to be on the basis of Say No To This rather than anything else). For me and mine - we have watched films and TV which have been similarly emotional so it wasn't something I was particularly concerned about.

(I agree about Grease - that element is a large part of why it's not something I have shared with my kids yet)

All Souls' Day / Going to meet the death etc... grin. Fantastic

For years I took a book about alesteir Crowley to bed and indeed everywhere with me 😂 I imagine people looked at my parents a bit too!

DDs school take a dim view of children playing age inappropriate computer games and watching age inappropriate films. They definitely make a note of it on incident forms and take it seriously if children mention they've seen/played anything. I know there were a few issues with that Call of Duty game. Not sure what they'd make of that show. Just a heads up that you may well get a call if nosey interfering mum reports it.

@RoadToRivendell

Southern Italian All Soul's Day things. 😅😅

I think MIL might be in for a surprise when she realises that these things were also part of my upbringing / will probably be at least partially 'given on' to the LO. (Fingers crossed)

For years I took a book about alesteir Crowley to bed and indeed everywhere with me 😂 I imagine people looked at my parents a bit confused too

Maybe ? It's great your parents allowed you to have it imo, btw.

I once took a book on Evolution to school and rel.ed.

All Souls' Day / Going to meet the death etc... grin. Fantastic

Yup...

I'm not quite sure how she came to the conclusion that it's occult or morbid, tbh... (And even if she's never heard of it... Googling
it would have been an option!)

TBH there are some graphic scenes in Watership Down, but I doubt anyone would bat an eye at a 7 year old watching that, and the bible 😱
Personally I don’t think it’s necessarily always appropriate to shield children from sad /challenging themes as being able to experience grief/see challenging events through the eyes of an actor does actually help you learn how to cope with real-life grief in future. But it is very dependent on specific circumstances/ individual children.