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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Son is embarassed by me

64 replies

daydreamer45 · 15/06/2018 14:47

I had a meeting near to my son's school yesterday so gave him a lift in (he normally takes the train). I needed to walk past the entrance to school to get where I was going but my son didn't want to walk with me in case anyone saw us. I wasn't going to kiss him goodbye or even hug him but he refused to walk with me and couldn't understand why I got upset. AIBU to feel really sad about this? He is 16.

OP posts:
Handsfull13 · 15/06/2018 14:59

I know it's sad and a shame but it's very normal for teenagers. To put a positive spin on it he probably thinks his friends are weird and would do something daft to embarrass him in front of you. My step sons friends always try and show him up if me or his dad are around.

femidom12 · 15/06/2018 15:00

Don't you remember when you were this age? Don't take it personally.

ichifanny · 15/06/2018 15:03

I remember being mortified by my parents when I was a teen it makes no sense as they had me fairly young and are pretty cool but I thought they were the most embarrassing thing ever , I grew out of it .

feathermucker · 15/06/2018 15:04

Perfectly normal. My 12 year old is the same ☺

scottishdiem · 15/06/2018 15:05

Teens blow hot and cold when it comes to being seen with parents at that age.

He would have blown very cold and had every aspect of his opinion utterly validated when you got upset.

SabineUndine · 15/06/2018 15:06

I think you’re lucky to have got to 16?without this tbh. In a few years’ time, he’ll get over it.

Cath2907 · 15/06/2018 15:07

Oh yeah - may parents were like THE MOST EMBARASSING humans in the world when I was 16. My Dad used to play on it and do funny walks (often not on purpose and caused by debilitating back pain). They both used to bend their knees and hold their noses in lifts or make silly face or be overly kissy and huggy in front of my friends on purpose. It was terrible. Funnily enough I find myself doing the same thing now. My DD is only 7 but I can embarass her with my lift antics.

Embrace it! He'll grow out of it. I love my Dad dearly and he still does funny walks down the main street of Chester on a Saturday afternoon and we still beg him to stop for fear of embarassment (but these days we are laughing and he knows we aren't embarassed anymore!)

Racecardriver · 15/06/2018 15:08

He's a bit too old to be so self conscious isn't he?

Dash38 · 15/06/2018 15:09

I remember mine like this at that age and suddenly at 18 it was quite cool to hug mum in front of peers.
Just hang in there.

MereDintofPandiculation · 15/06/2018 15:10

Only little children are walked to places by their DM. He'd be petrified of being teased, it's too good an opportunity to be missed, both by friends for gentle teasing, and bullies for more serious name calling.

SluttyButty · 15/06/2018 15:16

But we are cringey as old people not that we're actually old

I was mortified if my parents tried to be seen in the same postcode as me in public. I grew out of it and so will he.

My 12 year old said to me this week that I couldn't walk with him because I say things that are cringe and I might accidentally say something which would mean him having to leave the country Hmm

blueskypink · 15/06/2018 15:17

You got upset op?!!!! Let me hand you a grip.

Most secondary school kids are embarrassed by their parents aren't they? Please tell me I wasn't in a minority? Confused

Vitalogy · 15/06/2018 15:21

This is the norm OP.

MadisonAvenue · 15/06/2018 15:22

I have to walk on the other side of the road when out with my 18 year old if we're somewhere where there's a chance he might see someone he knows.

Vitalogy · 15/06/2018 15:23

*If my son had to travel on the bus with me he'd sit in a separate seat.

MadisonAvenue · 15/06/2018 15:26

Vitalogy Yes, that happens here too, again if there's a chance he may see someone he knows.

DailyMailFail101 · 15/06/2018 15:30

He would of got some stick from his friends, ‘Mummy walking him to school’ even if it wasn’t like that!

tillytoodles1 · 15/06/2018 15:33

Typical teenager.

notacooldad · 15/06/2018 15:35

To be honest he seems a bit old for that at 16!
Mine went through that stage around about 10 with both of us and then returned to normal at about 14.

Nowadays no one can leave the house with out a load of kissess, see ya laters! and love you's!

The lads are 18 and 21 now!

PeppermintPasty · 15/06/2018 15:37

But you are winning at parenting OP!

Just as it should be.

Seriously though, my parents HELD HANDS on a holiday once, when I was 13. They then had the audacity to ask me to take a picture and I did my level best to refuse as they were making me feel sick.

Roomba · 15/06/2018 15:37

My son is 12. Most mornings I have to walk past his school to drop DS2 at his primary. We all leave the house at the same time, it would be weird if we didn't walk together most of the way! But sometimes DS will suddenly walk ahead of us and pretend he doesn't know us, if he spots a group of boys in his class/year. I'm not offended at all, I was the same at his age. DS2 (5) gets rather confused though.

statetrooperstacey · 15/06/2018 15:38

To my real burning shame even now 30years later. I can remember my mum falling over at some traffic lights. She really hurt herself and I just ignored her and left her there on the floor. I still feel awful about it now.

Walkingthedog46 · 15/06/2018 15:38

I remember walking in town with my daughter at that age side by side. Every time she spotted one of her friends she dropped back and walked behind me! I never took it personally.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 15/06/2018 15:40

Completely normal, and frankly it's our job to embarrass our kids when they are teens Grin

You are aware you can completely ruin your child'life and destroy their credibility by saying "hello" if you walk past their friends, aren't you?

It's the first time they don't want to be kissed in front of their friends in reception that is quite sad.

notacooldad · 15/06/2018 15:42

I have to walk on the other side of the road when out with my 18 year old if we're somewhere where there's a chance he might see someone he knows
Seriously?
Assuming he was a typical 18 year old and mine did that he would be having words about grow the fuck up now you are an adult.

I have a lot of DS's friends on face book and they have pictures of their parents and grandparents. On one someone commented how nice the picture was of the lad and his mum and said his mum looked lovely. His reply ' As always' This kid is 17.

I know I was an embarrasement when DS1 was around 11 and I had to drop him off somewhere and he said 'you're not going like that are you' I had just got home from work early to take him out so I had my walking kit on, including boots. He was told to walk if I shamed him that much and refused to give him the lift. He was told in future think before he opened his mouth about the impact of his words could have on people and to stop being such a vain idiot.
It seemed to work!