Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Son is embarassed by me

64 replies

daydreamer45 · 15/06/2018 14:47

I had a meeting near to my son's school yesterday so gave him a lift in (he normally takes the train). I needed to walk past the entrance to school to get where I was going but my son didn't want to walk with me in case anyone saw us. I wasn't going to kiss him goodbye or even hug him but he refused to walk with me and couldn't understand why I got upset. AIBU to feel really sad about this? He is 16.

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 15/06/2018 15:47

Teenagers like you to walk six paces behind them. Preferably holding a wallet.

TwitterQueen1 · 15/06/2018 15:48

I'm sorry but you YABU and even more U to have got upset about it in front of him. As ^ you have now validated his wish to avoid any potential embarrassment in future and he'll never let you walk with him again!

Try to chill about this OP. It's typical, normal, doesn't mean he doesn't love you, etc. He'll grow out of it - honestly!

melonscoffer · 15/06/2018 15:50

Just because these kids feel embarrassed I don't see the need for them to be listened to.
What do you all mean they refuse to walk with you?
Do they sprint off up the street and hide?
I'm the mum of three boys, they do as they are told.
If walking with me they stay walking with me.

FTRT · 15/06/2018 15:50

Oh bless.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 15/06/2018 15:52

Even my 10yo son has started doing similar - he doesn't mind being seen with me but I Must Not touch him. Grin

Vitalogy · 15/06/2018 15:54

*Teenagers like you to walk six paces behind them. Preferably holding a wallet. Grin

Assuming he was a typical 18 year old and mine did that he would be having words about grow the fuck up now you are an adult. I think you got off pretty lightly, age range for this carry on I'd say is from around 10 to 20.....

qazxc · 15/06/2018 15:57

It's normal at that age. It's all part of growing up/ becoming independent. Don't worry about it.

Freshprincess · 15/06/2018 15:59

I'm surprised you've got to 16 without this happening already.

When I go anywhere with my two, one walks ahead of me, the other drops behind. We look like 3 random people. They soon catch up when they want food/money. At last parents evening one of mine was rolling his eyes because I dared to speak to his friends mum.

notacooldad · 15/06/2018 15:59

I know this thread is lighthearted but it does make me angry me when I see teen males disrespect their mothers, even in subtle ways such as refusing to walk together, especially when they heading to townand mother is buying the latest 100 quid plus trainers or whatever.

I know the kissing in front of friends is embarrassing for most and that is a bit of a joke but all this shit I've heard about parents dropping off around the block so friends don't see them was never tolerated in our house.

Vitalogy · 15/06/2018 16:02

How old are your lads melonscoffer

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 15/06/2018 16:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lovemusic33 · 15/06/2018 16:06

Pretty normal teen behaviour though my dd isn’t embarrassed off me, I do try really hard to embarrass her but I end up embarrassing myself Grin

StroppyWoman · 15/06/2018 16:08

Mine dies the death if spotted with me in town
"aww, is oo shopping wiv oo's mummy?"
That's OK. Teens find us embarrassing but still love us when there's no one there to tease them.

MiaowMix · 15/06/2018 16:10

Op it's your JOB to embarrass them. How can this make you sad?! Confused
My 11 year old girl would die if I did anything like sing, dance, floss near her in public WinkGrin

frustratedashell · 15/06/2018 16:10

I think it's par for the course to be honest. My kids are now 29 and 27, it does pass!
I used to make a joke of it, saying would you like me to put a bag over my head?

BrownTurkey · 15/06/2018 16:12

It’s developmentally normal - watch the Lion King - circle of life innit.

melonscoffer · 15/06/2018 16:24

vitalogy
I knew someone would ask.
They are 35, 34 and 28, and yes, they do as they are told which translates into recognising the values and respect for their parents that they have aways been expected to display.
All are married and one lives on another continent, still respect their parents.
They are not pre teen and I don't have it all to come. Just in case this is some peoples thought on my post.

Ifonlyfor1day · 15/06/2018 16:28

statetropper I actually bust out laughing not funny for your mam but great teenage reaction.

Katgurl · 15/06/2018 16:28

Ahhhhh bless him. Don't take it personally, it will pass.

C8H10N4O2 · 15/06/2018 16:32

Teenagers like you to walk six paces behind them. Preferably holding a wallet.

GrinGrin

I think mine all grew out of this by about 16 but it does vary. Should be gone by 18 at the latest.

Vitalogy · 15/06/2018 16:32

I'm the mum of three boys, they do as they are told.
If walking with me they stay walking with me. I should hope they would walk beside you now, they're well past the cringe stage. Your post read as if they were still with you.

SanFranBear · 15/06/2018 16:33

I used to get the bus to work and a school bus picked up at the same stop. Every morning, a lady would walk her 12ish son to the stop and give him a kiss before he got on the bus. I was there the morning he shied away from her kiss and she looked utterly devestated. I often think of her Flowers

camaleon · 15/06/2018 16:35

My son is 11 and has done similar. I did ask him if he thought it was embarrassing to see other children with their mums. Somehow he thought it was not and 'tolerates' my presence as long as I don't try to touch him.
They need to detach from us, sooner or later. If they always felt the same towards us we would never get rid of them. Instead of feeling low about this, see it as a normal stage in their development. Question it if you want to. Talk to him about it if you feel like it, but feel proud of bringing up a totally average teen who needs to start a life without you

MysticFlyTrap · 15/06/2018 16:35

It's rather normal I guess, my dd who's 12 doesn't want to be seen with me in public to if she can help it Grin

melonscoffer · 15/06/2018 16:36

vitalogy
I was out walking with my son.
Sounds good to me.
They are still with me. We are a family. We are all with each other.
Perhaps you mean living with me?