Is she stealing?

[Gracie2906]

LO plays football for local team, lovely little team who did train with older boys until around a year ago when a set of parents from my LO age group took the team on.

The Dad trains the children (I use the world loosely, however he does his best and I appreciate that!) and mother takes the money & organises social events with the help of all us Mums when asked; although our suggestions go ignored.

I'm not convinced this set of parents haven't been 'dipping into' the kitty over the last year, but I have no proof other than a quick calculation of my figures don't match hers - but I can't prove it! So will have to let that slide for the mo!

Anyhow, it's the boys presentation this weekend and this mother has organised a DJ at the cost of £90 which will be paid from the kitty; my issue is our boys have no official kit (they just play in blue!), no training gear (DH asked could be buy some bibs this week for training and was told no, we don't have the funds), no training tracksuits, and some weeks during the winter not even the basic costs of hiring a venue were being covered so consequently it was paid out of the kitty. I said to Mum in question I think we should revisit the DJ idea, ultimately it's a presentation not a party and that's £90 that is the parents money so to speak which could be used towards the children not entertaining the adults - issue is she disagrees with me, she stated both her and husband want the DJ there to help keep the adults there later so more of a night out than presentation. She booked a Bouncy Castle for the children using £30 from kitty for the deposit and £70 of her own money to front the costs with the intention of claiming it back, then decided to cancel it when she realised it needed to be manned at all times consequently losing the £30 deposit paid from the boys kitty but ensuring she had her £70 back. I questioned this and asked her what we are gonna do about the missing £30 now as it's unfair the boys lose it, her response was "nothing we can do, we will live and learn "

I've asked on several occasions for a club bank account to be set up as it would be easier for many parents to pay DD but each time my request has been declined - is she hiding something? I'm concerned!

I don't mind helping at all, but don't want others to think I'm involved in this situ!

Any advice about the DJ would be greatly appreciated - how Can I say I think you're wasting the boys money? Or do you feel she's not? xx

We have balls, cones and one set of pop up goals that's it. As I said DH asked for bibs and was blindly dismissed x

Forget the bouncy castle that isn't happening anymore!

As it currently stands DH says they can't get a valid insurance until they become U6s which will start in September, DH is CRB checked and I know a lot was mentioned in the beginning when the 'trainer' took them on about him being CRB checked however whether this has been fulfilled or not I don't know x

I organised for the boys to train and play matches on their school field, which is unused. I know there's no fees as I arranged with Head x

I believe the decision regarding entertainment should of gone to a committee or group of parents and not just her and her DH to make that decision; it's not just their choice! My opinion! That said I believe the boys would of enjoyed the bouncy castle more! Do any of you think she should put in the bouncy castle money she lost from an unreturned deposit? As opposed to the children losing it x

If she's taking money then she needs to document exactly what money is paid, give receipts and show exactly where the money is going in records or she could be done for fraudulently earning when she wasn't supposed to!

Have they had proper safeguarding checks done? Like criminal records checks? They sound like they’re operating illegally and need reporting.

What do you want out of it? He's playing with all his friends for £2 a week? I wouldn't bother really. She sounds like she's using it to drum up a social circle and have a good time herself and in a large group. Maybe some of the other parents want that too.

No ones ever gonna go bankrupt over £2 a week. Sounds to me like you want control and want to be the leader? Start your own club if that's what you want. If you want a professional club, go find one.
Kids sound like they're living it and would certainly have liked a DJ too.

You need to ask if it’s a private profit making business (if it is needs to be registered as such) if not and it’s a club then needs financial transparency to any members on request, perhaps she’s not aware of this but I will say it’s definitely being run VERY badly at best and they are using it as a source of extra pocket money for them at worst!

Ask to see the accounts. If she doesn’t have any, tell her you have to produce them for the FA thing in September and offer to do them.

how much money are we talking about here?

sounds like a very informal set up - her dh is the coach, she runs the "club" and it's all about fun, not a bad approach for little ones is it?

so what if it's not very well structured or organised. does it matter for 4 & 5 year olds?

sounds like you don't trust her and want something better run - go and find it.

I think the most worrying part of this is that they have no insurance. yes they are only little but accidents can happen and you need to know that the children (and adult helpers) are covered.

I don't think this couple are intentionally dishonest, it sounds as though they are well meaning but very disorganised and inexperienced with financial and safeguarding matters. Unfortunately if they are unwilling to accept help and advice the only option is for you to find another club.

If you are entering a 'proper' league in September, there is your chance to get it set up properly! Have a look at your local league rules etc. I suggest you call a meeting with all parents on the disguise of 'how to go forward'?

I can definitely see this going pear shaped, as someone else said, it's probably not malicious but misguided and will end up with them falling out with everyone and the team disabanded

Sounds like it is just a start up club, you pay a couple of quid and the boys get to train and play, not a lot of organisation is required especially if they aren't playing in a league yet. Do not under estimate the amount of time and effort those who have established this team have volunteered. Accusing them of theft of a couple of pounds with no evidence is unkind. You are unreasonable to start criticising and telling them you can do things better. You can ask what they want help with and support them or go and start your own team if it is so easy.

Once the team moves to leagues it will need to be registered with the SYFA (in Scotland, assume something similar in England) and it will all change. For the SYFA coaches need to be DBS/PVG registered, there needs to be a first aider, at least one of the coaches need to have passed or be working towards their coaching badges, boys will need training and match strips, leagues and matches need to be organised and it becomes a lot of work. There then should be a committee and a balance sheet, they will be looking for sponsorships.

Lots of little teams like this don't go the distance and fold, if those that are currently running it aren't starting to get more organised they wont make it into the leagues as their paperwork wont be up to scratch. If its looking that way, and especially if they don't have the basic safety measures already (DBS/PVG and first aider) I would not leave ds there unsupervised and it might be better for your ds to move sooner rather than later and make new friends.

The money didn't seem to add up does it.
£5 per week = £20 per month x 10 kids is £200 per month income. Plus the fundraising.
I'd tackle it from a safeguarding/insurance angle with other parents and get them on board regarding finalising things a bit, then introduce the financial accountability at a meeting.

Why are they paying £2 a week when there are no costs involved (apart from some cones etc.)? I wouldn't pay a penny until I knew where my money went.

How old are these children?
Officially any matches played whether friendly or competitive, can not not be played once a child is 6.
If the team has no costs for training, no equipment and a free pitch to train on, there should be a pot of money building as you say!
If they are playing league matches there are league fees, pitch fees and ref fees. These do add up.
Unofficial 'friendly' matches will have minimal costs as these will have a coach as a referee and possibly a pitch fee depending where you play.
I think you are right to be concerned, but you are best to offer help from here on in and account for money going forward.
Also, Kits don't have to be hugely expensive, kit packs for teams can be found at great prices.

That should say matches can ONLY be played once a child is six, sorry for the typos x

Ok so I text her saying this;

Hello, I’ve been thinking. Shall we appoint a treasurer and committee in readiness for next season? It will help that everyone can take their turn in fundraising and perhaps we will have lots more ideas too?

I thought that was a nice message, not accusing her and a way To move forth, she's replied this;

No thanks, me and DH took the team on so we shall continue as we are for now, I’m quite happy looking after the money.

Awkward - what Can I say to that!

well there's your answer.
Time to move on.

Both my ds and dd have been playing football for years and I wouldn't be happy with that set up, I would find a club which is already well run or set up one yourself properly.

Move your DS to a proper club. He'll make new friends.

Is there a Facebook group for the club? If there is, you could post on there.

In reply to that text, going by what others have said will be needed to join the league, perhaps you can ask her how they're going to join the league without those things in place.

That's not right at all.

Our boys both pay £17 a month, and that covers kit (including beanie hats, rainjackets as well as proper kit every 2 years), training pitch costs, new balls every year, and extra winter training costs when they go on astroturf, league entry fees, a couple of tournament entry fees in the summer break, DBS check costs.

You're paying more than that now, with none of the above costs at all.

Though it's likely you're only paying when they train/play, and not when they don't. We pay every month, 12 months a year.

You need to either step away completely and find another club or get the other parents on board to get the thing more organised. If there are no pitch fees and from what you've said no noticeable overheads thats a lot of money gone missing.

I think in the short term you need to talk to some of the other parents. but very discretely.

Send a text back saying 'Excellent news. Can all members of the club be supplied with a copy of the accounts please'

See what she comes back with.

perhaps you can ask her how they're going to join the league without those things in place.
That's a good response to that text.