Cancelling ~36 hours before... AIBU?

[headisajungle]

An old uni friend and I arranged to meet up this weekend. She still lives in our uni city and I've moved to a different one. We both work crazy shifts and rarely have weekends off, so this visit was planned 3-4 months ago. I've got pets which she's allergic to so we agreed to share a hotel room and use the spa the next day. I booked the hotel and treatments and she said she'd pay me back later. She has no form for CF-ery, so I wasn't in the slightest bit wary of doing this.

Yesterday evening (~36 hours before she's due to arrive) she text me to ask if someone else can take her place because she's really short of money. Whilst I'm sympathetic to her money shortages, she explained that this is because she's saving for a mortgage - and they don't just appear out of nowhere! No-one else can take her place at this short notice (or even would, because why would you want a hotel in the city you live in?)!

AIBU to be a little peeved, or should I be a better friend?

What did you end up doing, OP?

Great minds!

That is a bit weird. You don't send someone else in your place if you were meeting up with a friend.

I grumpily told her I'd "ask around", and found another friend to have a night out with and a kid-free hotel stay! The spa kindly let me re-arrange the treatments for another time, so I'm sorted for facials for the foreseeable future (wooo!)! I paid for the hotel months ago and I'd almost forgotten about her still owing her half, so (annoying as the lost money is) I'm happy that someone (who hasn't totally dicked me over) is benefiting from the hotel. My weekend is salvageable... I'm not too sure about the friendship

Thank you for the update.

Glad that you'll still have a nice weekend.

Have you told the friend that this means you're out of pocket? I think it's rotten of her.

If it's too late for you to cancel free of charge she owes you the money. Don't be a mug she is being incredibly rude and unkind. Who would do that to a friend?!

I like how she thinks it’s ok for you to be short of money. Glad you’ve sorted it though. She’s a CF.

At least you’re less out of pocket. I can well understand how you feel about the friendship. Had she been profusely apologetic about a large, unexpected bill (eg her boiler packed up, her car engine died) and could no longer afford to come that would be different. But still, you seem up to this point to have been good enough friends for her to pay you in a few months once she could afford to do so.

Hasn't your new friend contributed anything?
You shouldn't be lumbered with the whole bill.

Rude and selfish of your so-called ‘friend’. That would be it for me, I’m afraid. How are you feeling about it?

Update:

I've checked in, had a top notch nap, and now I'm on my 4th cocktail with another better friend! I got slightly pissed off when I realised I'd even paid for breakfast, and she's not made any further communication since asking I someone else could replace her, but £150 is a bargain price to learn how little she values our friendship. And I'll bloody well enjoy my breakfast

Wahoo for a happy ending! Enjoy your night

Well if it's such a bargain she should choke cough up.

Monty Agreed, she’s a class A CF, but I’m too pissed to be bitter about her right now
(Plenty of time for that in the morning...)

Hope you've had the best time ever op

I can’t believe she’s not even contacted you back to check to see if you found someone to share the room with. That’s rather unkind and lacking consideration. Perhaps she just wants it all to go away. But she’s blowing a friendship in the process.

Glad you had fun in the end!

I'd still tell her that although you got another friend to come, you're still out of pocket. Maybe she doesn't realise this. Give her a chance to offer to contribute to salvage your relationship.
Still can't believe new friend hasn't offered something to contribute though.

Are you sure you are being up front enough about the situation with both friends? Or are you grumpily sucking it up without pointing out that you are massively out of pocket. You do need to be assertive with the first friend.

I don't understand why you are still out of pocket though. Didn't the other friend pay CF's half? Why would she imagine a spa weekend is free? You need to be more assertive, OP.

I'd go with @violetbunny's reply.

Oh, my app jumped two pages and I missed update. Yes she's a CF. Glad you had a fab time with other friend.
Well done for turning it around! It's a nice weekend memory & other friend, despite a let down & dropping friendship with CF.

I'm too hungover to grow some balls right now... I'll send an assertive text later (not envy...)

Did other friend pay anything?!

Glad you still managed to have a good time! I'd let her go, tbh

Did you send your assertive text to CF??

I was lurking and read that you were able to have a lovely stay but a completely unnecessary one in a hotel in your own town...I'd still be looking for some of the money back from CF as she let you down by getting you to arrange a hotel stay in your own home town because of her allergies...you wouldn't have made that booking or stayed there if it wasn't for her.