Primary children on London bus

[PretABoire]

I get the bus to work in London each day. Unfortunately for me and all the other passengers, so does a large family with 3-6?? primary aged children. I assume the parents take it in turns and often bring random other children with them. The problem is that this is a packed commuter bus and I'm starting to get Right Pissed Off with their behaviour.

The parents encourage the small children to squeeze under elbows and between people to skip the queue onto the bus. The parent then uses this as an excuse as to why they have to join them. They then proceed to yell, daily, "get on the stairs, get on the stairs!". Besides the fact that you obviously aren't supposed to stand on the stairs of a moving bus (many adults do as it's usually the only space available) - these kids will then agian, slip past anyone waiting for a seat upstairs and nab the first one available, or completely block the stairs meaning that most days, someone ends up missing their stop because they can't make it past the wall of sprogs blocking the steps. I've lost count of the number of times I've had to ask these kids to move for someone, but they just stare blankly and stay put.

The school is only about a 25 minute walk from the bus stop they get on at. No mobility issues - if they are running late, or miss the bus, I've seen the lot of them sprinting to school or the next stop.

WIBU to say something to the parents next time someone misses their stop due to their tribe or they fail to queue for the bus/a seat? I feel myself getting closer to snapping at them with each passing day - especially when I'm having a bad back day and the kids keep squeezing past the queue to grab a seat.

I said WIBU to speak to the parents next time this happens, not AIBU for being annoyed by these rude people!

I know I'm not the only irritated one, and there are other school children who behave immaculately on the same bus.

The problem is the children are entitled to behave like inconsiderate adults (pushing on etc) whilst being treated like children (not being pushed themselves).

An inconsiderate adult on a bus/tube who doesn't move when asked to let others off the bus/tube gets pushed out of the way.

Noone really wants to do that to a young child and am sure the parent would have something to say about it, if they did.

It doesn't take a lot to teach your child some manners on public transport, plenty of Londoners do it, not all kids behave like this.

As mentioned earlier, the parents and children always refuse to step off the bus

Sorry to be argumentative, i get that blocking isn't ideal but I can see why a parent would prefer people to push past. Admittedly on the tube rather than bus - but I have on more than one occasion stepped off to let people out and not managed to get back on.

Maybe this family is really rude and we're not appreciating how annoying the behaviour is, sorry if so. But I do feel for them, it's a lousy way for children to start each day.

@dameofdilemma

Exactly that. Other kids don't behave like this, and I would definitely confront an adult behaving the same.

I think the problem is we are creating a society where kids are allowed to do as they please by an entitled minority. And that minority are also ridiculously precious about their little shits kids meaning you now can't dare speak to someone kids without fear of outburst. I've experienced this myself and seen it happen to others.

My neighbour went off like a rocket when I told her kids to keep out of my garden. On public transport I have seen people verbally abused and threatened with violence for asking a child to move, stop kicking a chair or whatever. If anything I'm more likely to tell an adult not to push in front of me than a kid because people cannot or will not accept you saying their kid is in the wrong...

As for the OPs situation if it's anything like buses I used to get there is no way the driver will hear you over the noise of other passengers. And ringng the bell is often ignored because of the people who let children ring it constantly.

Children travelling together on public transport will rightly have been told to stick together. I couldn’t get worked up about some little kid squeezing past me to keep with their sister or brother.

And expecting a child to step off the bus to let others get out is unreasonable imo. If they’re only little this would be a scary thing to do! And imagine how the parent would feel to see one six year old hopping off the bus!

To be fair the eldest one occasionally takes matters into his own hands and gets off a couple of stops early instead of being repeatedly squished. The kids don’t stick together - they are encouraged to push and squeeze into any spaces which get them closer to any seat.

I can't believe the majority of people are saying YABU - I think it's appalling behaviour by the parents (not the kids fault)

Makes me so glad I don't live in London if that's considered normal and acceptable

If it bothers you that much and is 'only a 25 minute walk' why don't you walk the 25 minutes to the stop they get off at rather than expecting them to with 6 children...

How are they squeezed into every space if they are also all in the ‘holding pen’ of the staircase and simultaneously taking up seats instead of offering them to adults? It seems that whether these kids are sitting, stood separately or stood together they piss you off. If you just wanted to have a word about not standing on the stairs, then I would say that that was fair enough— it IS against the rules to stand there - and I’m surprised that the driver doesn’t play that automated ‘please do not stand on the stairs message’ on repeat as I thought that they were all trained to do that in these circs.

However, so much of your complaints is just a general rant. No, the fact that they are children doesn’t give them less of a right to get the bus rather than walk 25 mins, not does it give them less of a right to a seat than an able bodied adult. Moving past others on a crowded bus is not rude, it’s a necessary part of the process, because people tend to stand near the doors. It’s a public bus not a ‘commuter bus’ and that means all the public are entitled to be there. Children are members of the public and can’t be expected to behave like little adults (eg stepping off the bus when others are getting off).

I find this (distinctly english) attitude to kids so depressing!

I wouldn't get six kids to step off a bus to let people off eithet. Half of them would get left behind at the stop. Far safer to keep them in the bus until they need to get off.

People do complain about school kids on public transport quite a bit. But there's an easy solution - avoid schooltime. You get there a bit early, so what?

@RunningBean I'm not keen on making my commute 2 hours long just to avoid them, they get off the bus long before me so have never stood in my way but have run past me to take a seat I'm approaching on more than one occasion - I can't even stand up straight if I'm having a bad back day so I'd rather not aggravate it.

I don't believe all the kids are theirs but it's always the same 2 parents, obviously its nice of them to do someone else a favour with the school run but it seems ridiculous (and tbh dangerous) to bring 6 kids who don't behave when you already have 3 or 4 you've failed to teach manners to.

@longlostpal are you deliberately mis-reading? There's up to bloody 6 of them, so it's pretty easy for them to be rude in every way in one morning!

If they: stood in single file on the stairs like everyone else, queued (or at least didn't push) to get on the bus, and didn't shove past people heading for a seat to get there before them, like most other children I've ever been on public transport manage to do, it wouldn't be a problem. My issue is that these parents act like they're the only ones with a right to the space and sod everyone else.

If they're on the stairs blocking you and won't move when asked then just shove past them. I wouldn't miss my stop because ignorant people won't move or make their children move.

I’m not misreading.

A group of kids being corralled onto the stairs as a holding pen and remaining there is a legitimate concern. A group of kids being encouraged to move down inside the bus and take a seat if one becomes available is completely fine - I have never encountered the view that it is not ok to move past people on a busy bus.

I sympathise with your back issues but surely the answer there is to ask if anyone would mind giving up their seat, or wear one of those ‘please offer me a seat’ badges.

It's not an issue with them moving down inside the bus, in fact that would be helpful behaviour!

I'm sorry I haven't explained the buses well so I understand how it could be confusing for someone who isn't used to the new London buses. Because of the 3 doors, you can get on/off at any of them. The drivers of these buses have no control over how full the bus gets, because all doors open at all stops. So they're often rammed to bursting, far worse than the traditional 'front door entrance only' buses. There are two sets of stairs, one to the front, and one at the back. Because the buses are full, people will queue on the stairs in single file (to allow people to pass on the way down) and whoever is at the top of the stairs will take the first available seat.

The reason I disagree with these parents/children is because they will push up the stairs, stand blocking the side that people use to walk down the stairs, and at the first hint of a vacant seat will run and squeeze past everyone else who is waiting in order to get to the seat first.

I can't help but think that if they behaved like this on a school trip, they would end up pushing over another child or eventually causing some kind of injury. I don't really understand why it's ok for them to act like this just because they're around adults who they're less likely to topple?

I don't want sympathy for my back, I cope just fine, but that's why I get the bus instead of walking or cycling and why I get peeved when a seat is within reach and some parent is yelling at their kid to shove past people and grab the seat!

Im familiar with London transport. Sorry, so you are standing on the stairs too? And the stairs are blocked because people can’t get down because of the single file of adults and the single file of kids?? Sorry but how is it ok for you and other adults to break the rules by standing on the stairs while the bus is moving but not ok for these kids to do so, and how is it more their fault than yours that the stairs are blocked when you are all breaking the rules by standing on them

My commute is already over an hour - can’t see the need to add an extra 20 minutes just because of this particularly entitled family smile

Don't complain then. You've been given a solution, if you don't choose to take it, that's up to you

@longlostpal
You are hard work aren't you are you familiar with queues and how they work too? One single file line isn't obstructing anyone, them blocking the remaining space instead of joining the queue like everyone else causes problems. Why should random adults have to move from where they aren't bothering anyone, because someone has decided to instruct their kids to be obstructive?

@OliviaStabler and where it says that there are days I can't even stand upright, let alone walk extended distances...?

Everyone knows you’re not supposed to stand on the stairs - there are signs on them. The fact that you feel you are breaking this rule in a responsible and polite way (not sure I agree) does not make a difference imo. I don’t see how you can complain about kids breaking the unwritten rules of public transport by going ahead of you to find a seat when you yourself are breaking this written rule.