Primary children on London bus

[PretABoire]

I get the bus to work in London each day. Unfortunately for me and all the other passengers, so does a large family with 3-6?? primary aged children. I assume the parents take it in turns and often bring random other children with them. The problem is that this is a packed commuter bus and I'm starting to get Right Pissed Off with their behaviour.

The parents encourage the small children to squeeze under elbows and between people to skip the queue onto the bus. The parent then uses this as an excuse as to why they have to join them. They then proceed to yell, daily, "get on the stairs, get on the stairs!". Besides the fact that you obviously aren't supposed to stand on the stairs of a moving bus (many adults do as it's usually the only space available) - these kids will then agian, slip past anyone waiting for a seat upstairs and nab the first one available, or completely block the stairs meaning that most days, someone ends up missing their stop because they can't make it past the wall of sprogs blocking the steps. I've lost count of the number of times I've had to ask these kids to move for someone, but they just stare blankly and stay put.

The school is only about a 25 minute walk from the bus stop they get on at. No mobility issues - if they are running late, or miss the bus, I've seen the lot of them sprinting to school or the next stop.

WIBU to say something to the parents next time someone misses their stop due to their tribe or they fail to queue for the bus/a seat? I feel myself getting closer to snapping at them with each passing day - especially when I'm having a bad back day and the kids keep squeezing past the queue to grab a seat.

bottle well, hard to tell what the situation was, but generally if people aren’t moving you just have to sort of barge past them while bellowing ‘excuse me’. It’s not ‘rude’ to do so on a bus/tube. If you’re missing stop you have to yell out to driver, normally others further forward will alert him if you tell out at the back. I just don’t really see how the presence of kids on a very busy bus can make much of a difference. Missing stops because you haven’t got up in time, nearly missing them, having to squeeze past people who can’t or won’t move out of the way are all fairly standard for rush hour.

YABU.

Act on your own behaviour which you can change/control.
Get on a different door - you also ahve 3 to choose from.

If the doors close prematurly you and other passengers can do what everyone else does in this situation - shout out to driver or ring bell several times. It's not your responsibility to police this obo the World.
You can also get off one of the other doors.

The problem with public transport is the public will insist on using it! As they are perfectly entitled to do.

Get yourself some headphones or something and stop focusing on this family.

it is London, it is shit and crowded. But you have a bus every few minutes, not every hour like the rest of the country so sympathy is a little limited.

Exactly this. Sometimes my son can't even get on the bus because it's already full and standing when it arrives. We only have an hourly service, so if he can't get on, he has to wait an hour for the next. He already gets up at 6.30 and leaves the house at 7.15 for the bus so getting up an hour earlier for the first of the day isn't appropriate either.

Just regard yourself lucky you have such a good bus service and can actually get on it, even if you're standing.

I commute in London too, usually by train/tube but sometimes the overground is down and I have to take a bus to the nearest tube. In the last couple of months, after 9.00 am, there have been huge parties of primary school children with their teachers on all 3 modes of transport, going on some sort of outing further into London. I would say at least 40 children in each party. The noise is DEAFENING and their teachers never tell them to be quieter or to stop wandering about or fidgeting/kicking their feet and shouting down the bus/train to each other. Why don't teachers try to teach children to speak more quietly and sit still when they are sharing public transport, I wonder? How are they ever going to learn how to behave properly/with respect to fellow passengers if no-one teaches them? Previous generations of teachers/pupils managed it - what is so different now?

it is anoying short of getting a different bus i dont know what u can do

maybe someone will tread on them one day

I would say at least 40 children in each party. The noise is DEAFENING

I think it's lovely to see the groups of kids using public transport - and I've always been very impressed at how well the adults are keeping track of them all - I've never noticed the noise being deafening - perhaps I've just been lucky with the groups of kids I've seen.

TBH, their behaviour sounds like the way so many adults behave on public transport too, so I can see where they've learned it (you yourself mention that adults also stand on the stairs). I've had trouble getting me and my kids off the bus/train because of adults not getting out of the way plenty of times too - it's rude, but really nothing out of the ordinary.

Children are also members of the public, and they are commuting to school. Wouldn't it be great if all children lived near primary schools & they were automatically allocated a place there, and their parents didn't have to work and could accompany them leisurely to and from school every day without ever having to share the task with another parent?

If there is that much variability in how you get to work, then imagine how anxious the parents and kids are about getting to school on time. I can understand that they're being annoying, but you have the easier, more flexible and more powerful position in this dynamic.

The school is only about a 25 minute walk from the bus stop they get on at.

If it is no trouble, why don't you walk the 25 minutes and get on when they get off? They have as much right as you to use the bus.

Children are also members of the public, and they are commuting to school.

Yes - but they (or their parents) seem to think they are exempt from the usual rules of passenger behaviour. Or at the least the particular group the OP encounters do

If the children won't get out of the way when standing on the stairs it is up to the person getting off to bellow to the driver that they need to get off. They should also tell the children to move out of the way firmly and act like they are going to stand on them when getting down the stairs. If people do this frequently they will get the message and move.

In London when people refuse to move when they have been politely told to, then you need to be more forceful.

Oh and those moaning about primary school children on public transport, get on a bus that secondary boys over 12 take.

As some pp have mentioned is it possible for you to walk one stop back?

It is quite common practice for those who live close to the end of a tube line to go one or two stops to the end of the line (opposite way to the way they want to go) and then get on a train. That way they are guaranteed a seat.

Yabu. It's public transport. Get a bicycle!

Pushing etc is not ok.

Perhaps I'm being blinkered but just to say, I had a period of having to use buses to get my children to and from school. It's not fun for anyone. I know this is always trotted out on MN but one of my children couldn't do a half hour walk each way - but you'd have no idea to look at him. Ideally needs a seat too. That aside, it's tricky on crowded buses making sure you all keep together. If my youngest isn't sat down or holding on to something before the bus moves he has been sent flying before - so I do often send them ahead while I queue. Although i hope we do this politely.

Sometimes if we are sat upstairs I can't get them down on time while the bus is moving and the driver has to wait for us to get off. Occasional exaggerated sighing - but sometimes a kind person will help steady them. Sometimes an adult or teenager gives up their seat for my 3 year old which is sweet.

I don't expect people to make the same allowances for my children that I make, but I do think sometimes people forget children are little and whilst generally full of energy, some things are hard work for them.

My commute is already over an hour - can’t see the need to add an extra 20 minutes just because of this particularly entitled family :)

My issues are

1. pushing to get onto the bus - there is a BIT of a queue for London buses, but the kids will squeeze through the adults on the parents command and then the parent will demand to be let on the bus ahead of others.
2. isn’t the general concensus that children should stand for adults? The person waiting at the top of the stairs has dibs on the first available seat, unless these kids again squeeze past everyone waiting to take the seat (again at parents command). Perhaps they do “need” the seat but how do they know no one else queuing may neeed it more?
3. blocking the stairs - the parents use the stairs as a holding pen to keep the children vaguely in one place and refuse to engage when the children are asked to move out of the way, which I do regard as appalling behaviour

My problem is not with them getting the bus, or with them being children, it’s that they use their children to disadvantage other passengers and fail to engage in the basic etiquette that all the other passengers follow

Yabu they are behaving just like adults do on London buses. Your objection seems to be the fact they are children.

I've not once had a problem with adults using the excuse that because one member of their party has made it onto the bus, that they are all entitled to get on ahead of other people (as these parents do)

I can only recall one instance where an adult has tried to push past me and others on the stairs to get a seat - they were firmly told that there were currently none available so could they please go back down to the end of the queue as they were squashing people. This really isn't something that adults do.

Again blocking the stairs - people always make an effort to squeeze to the side, or step off the bus to allow people to get off. As mentioned earlier, the parents and children always refuse to step off the bus, which means blocking the entire available exit.

Do people honestly think this is ok because they are children and can't possibly be taught manners or be controlled?

So would it be acceptable, instead, for me to forcefully push past these children to get on the bus, take a seat that they're heading for, or block their path? This is how they behave, and I thought it would be more civilised to have a word but apparently this is how we all act now :')

The consensus is absolutely not that children stand for adults and I find that idea so wrong. Why should an able bodied adult have rights over a child for a seat, especially when children are more likely to fall and can't reach the hand straps etc that are there for standing passengers.

I do totally appreciate that adults do these annoying things too, but there generally aren't 3-6 identical ones all doing it at once, and being yelled at by a ringleader to specifically do these annoying things!

There are plenty of other school children on the bus, mostly senior school though. This isn't to do with what they look like or being children, it's about the behaviour which is encouraged by the parents.

No not at all new to London or commuting - I've used TFL to get to work and uni for the last decade. But this level of entitlement from this family is entirely new to me!

2. isn’t the general concensus that children should stand for adults?

nopppe my child fell back flat onto his back banging his head. now i make sure he gets a seat!

They have as much right to be on the bus as you have.
Speak to the driver and say if the company can't ensure health and safety of passengers you will report.
The passengers should be safe on the bus, not stood on the stairs.