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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that if I purchase myself a delicious and fatty treat

124 replies

SecretSantaaaaaa · 12/06/2018 12:35

I should expect it find it still in the fridge when I return home?!

I had been looking forward to it all day but DP ate mine. I had bought 2 , one for us each. DP had theirs Sunday night and scoffed mine last night before I had got home and cooked us dinner!

I think I overreacted (telling them not to bother apologising as its clearly empy words given that this isn't the first time it's happened) and now I feel bad.

I don't ask for much after a long hard day!!

Anyone else's partner a greedy, selfish bastard? Grin

(This is kind of light hearted, I love DP really)

OP posts:
Juells · 12/06/2018 14:29

@cherrytree63 :( Fucker

Timeisslippingaway · 12/06/2018 14:31

This sounds like something my DP would do. You will just need to return the favour next time 😂

Ebeneser · 12/06/2018 14:34

My partner is greedy, but as of yet hasn't done anything to warrant being buried under the patio. He did eat all the Haribo a couple of days ago, but I did buy them for both of us. He will polish off my sweets I've half eaten if I've gone to bed before him, but that hasn't really bothered me.

I get annoyed when he tries to eat junk before dinner though. He wanted to eat an iced bun as I was cooking dinner, but I told him off and made him wait till after. I know that he secretly buys crap on the way to work though, as he knows I'll tell him off if he just constantly eats rubbish at home all day.

kerryleigh · 12/06/2018 14:42

This is so disrespectful!
It was obvious that it was one for each. There is no such thing in my house as "mine" or "yours", but we ask each other: do you want this/ is it for the kids/ is there more of.../can I have this? it's so simple

chocatoo · 12/06/2018 14:46

I would be really pissed off.

StormTreader · 12/06/2018 14:54

It speaks of an unspoken and maybe even unaware entitlement - the fact one is your share and belongs to you is less important to them than the fact they want it. As a partner, they are supposed to consider your wants as well as their own.

I could give them a pass if they wanted the eclair and then went out and got a replacement for you before you got home, but leaving you with an empty-handed "guess that's hard luck for you then" speaks to something that probably comes out in other ways as well if you stop and think about it. Are you the one thats expected to have time off work when emergencies come up? Do they take the best items for themselves and allow you to always be the one "making do" with the scuffed one, or the egg with the cracked yolk?

Original poster
SecretSantaaaaaa · 12/06/2018 16:30

She does have a bad relationship with food, she says she has an addiction and cant help herself. She does struggle with her weight too.

The thing that I am thinking about now is that there was no offer to replace it.

Instead she went upstairs after saying sorry and stayed there watching Netflix, claiming that she was dissappointed in herself. I was the one ending up going to her and saying it's ok! WTF.

I'm not even going to start opening this can of worms!

OP posts:
ciderhouserules · 12/06/2018 17:19

Hmm. I think you should open this can of worms, OP. She is very subtly manipulating you. She is now the victim, and you have to apologise? Fuck that.

She should have replaced the eclair. She should have apologised to you. She should have made it right, not gone to watch netflix and forget about it!

Next time it happens? What will you do?

hairycoo · 12/06/2018 17:20

snooze, you lose in this house.

Emma198 · 12/06/2018 17:25

I caught mine microwaving my portion of sticky toffee pudding once after I'd bought us one each and he's had his a few days before. Didn't even want it at that moment but insisted on eating it anyway to prove a point!

Bibesia · 12/06/2018 17:25

I'm always wary of replying to threads where the gender of the (in this case, filthy perpetrator) other party is obscured.

There's always a few pages of posters assuming they're male or female and then a stern telling off and a "it's interesting you assumed they were he/she..." comment.

Precisely for that reason, on MN I always assume that "they" in relation to a partner means "she".

vampirethriller · 12/06/2018 17:27

Tell him that you were taking it back to the shop because they'd been recalled for being contaminated with listeria and environmental health needed to test them all.

Juells · 12/06/2018 17:27

@Emma198

Didn't even want it at that moment but insisted on eating it anyway to prove a point!

...and I hope you did lots of "mmmmm...yummy...this is delicious"-ing, while rolling your eyes ecstatically and rubbing your stomach Grin

PinkHeart5914 · 12/06/2018 17:28

Thing is you got one for your dp too so it was just greed to eat both.

We don’t have yours and mine food in this house but if someone has got say 2 cakes we bloody well know it’s one for each of us ffs so we don’t shove both down our throats

If it had been my dh he would of been off to the shop to replace...

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 12/06/2018 17:28

Why didn't you refer to your DP as her in the first post OP? Not a dig but curious. I wondered if you were a man and your partner was female as to why you didn't specify first.

Takfujuimoto · 12/06/2018 17:29

Tak doesn't share food.
Tak is most upset for you.
Tak is actually quite angry and if this happened to Tak it would be a dark couple of days on the dinner front at Taks house.

vampirethriller · 12/06/2018 17:29

Sorry, just realised him should be her!

CourtneyLovely · 12/06/2018 18:00

I'm a proper greedy fucker but if there was cake in my fridge belonging to someone else, or even if I didn't know whose it was, I wouldn't touch it because even I know where to draw the line.

I agree with PP that it all sounds a bit manipulative, "being disappointed in herself" and you having to go to her. Please tell me you made her buy you 3 eclairs to make up for it? I bloody love eclairs, me.

NormskiNamechange · 12/06/2018 22:04

I’d be raging. My DP is like this. It really annoys me, as well feel I have to fight for every mouthful of my food.

If I’m eating something he will literally come and take the spoon from my hand and eat some of my food.

Emma198 · 12/06/2018 22:29

@Normski! That's awful!

Mine sits with puppy dog eyes praying I'm not going to finish then swoops in as soon as my spoon touches my plate. haha.

TheNoodlesIncident · 12/06/2018 22:34

My MIL ate a little pot of ice-cream that was left in their freezer (I say theirs because DH was living there at the time). I still haven't forgiven her. Not that she knows that because I don't mention it.

However, it isn't that she ate it that bothers me, it's that she knew it wasn't hers and she didn't replace it. That's the bit that sticks in the craw! It felt very disrespectful to me. She simply felt that any food was fair game.

OP, have you seen the confections M&S have in their patisserie department? You might want to take a look

Bobbiepin · 12/06/2018 22:37

Dh ate my crispy kremes almost 3 years ago. I haven't let him forget it.

In all seriousness though, sounds like your DP needs some support with her food issues. If she's eating because she can't control herself then feels guilty after its a bit of a red flag. Does she engage in any purge behaviours?

Emma198 · 12/06/2018 22:39

Once, my Dad finished a box of chocolates that had been a birthday present for my Mum, chucked the box away and didn't mention it. She was fuming.

BrownTurkey · 12/06/2018 22:52

It was v annoying and rude, and she should know its not OK and feel your wrath. Saying that, some people do find it much harder to ignore food (did you see that diet based tv show where they put eye trackers on people to see how sensitive they were to food images and food in the vicinity - a quarter of the group were so much more attracted by it and could not ignore it that the other three quarters, and this was out of a whole group who were overweight. I would take a ‘this is my fair share’ approach to treats at home, but also consider putting things away in containers to take the visual prompt away.

BillowingFluffs · 12/06/2018 23:00

My dh is dreadful for this kind of thing and it makes me so cross that he can't see beyond his own tummy when it comes to the food in our house. For example, if I make a big batch of chilli we will all have some for dinner and then I say we can have the rest as a family meal the next day or freeze it for another day. By the time I go to use it he will have eaten it. So something that would have fed the whole family twice has been eaten mainly by him. If I ever buy treats he will wait until I go to bed and then eat his way through as much of the treat as possible. The number of times I have gone to the freezer to get a Magnum only to find that they've all gone. This kind of thing happens all the time and it makes me so cross because he doesn't ever think about me when he's stuffing his face. When I'm laying in bed I can hear him rifling around in the kitchen looking for stuff to eat. He has a horrible relationship with food and he does struggle with his weight so I am sympathetic to an extent but this only extends so far and I often end up exploding at him when I notice that yet again something I had saved to eat has disappeared.

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