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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that if I purchase myself a delicious and fatty treat

124 replies

SecretSantaaaaaa · 12/06/2018 12:35

I should expect it find it still in the fridge when I return home?!

I had been looking forward to it all day but DP ate mine. I had bought 2 , one for us each. DP had theirs Sunday night and scoffed mine last night before I had got home and cooked us dinner!

I think I overreacted (telling them not to bother apologising as its clearly empy words given that this isn't the first time it's happened) and now I feel bad.

I don't ask for much after a long hard day!!

Anyone else's partner a greedy, selfish bastard? Grin

(This is kind of light hearted, I love DP really)

OP posts:
Original poster
SecretSantaaaaaa · 12/06/2018 13:30

I'm always wary of replying to threads where the gender of the (in this case, filthy perpetrator) other party is obscured

Apologies - we are both female!

OP posts:
Grumblepants · 12/06/2018 13:31

A while ago I bought a pack of 6 chocolate bars. DH ate 4 then was packing his lunch box for the next day and saw there was 2 left. He though 'ohhh that's one for my lunch and one for now'. I was fuming. If there is ever 2 left of anything I will always share, it wouldn't even cross my mind to scoff both. He has now learnt his lesson Grin

Original poster
SecretSantaaaaaa · 12/06/2018 13:31

She isn't generally selfish, in fact some people consider her to be very selfless.

However when it comes to food she is a different person! Although she did offer me the last ice cream on the weekend and when I said no, she kept it there for me for about 24 hours

OP posts:
amusedbush · 12/06/2018 13:36

I know this is quite lighthearted but I actually think it's a really shitty, disrespectful thing to do.

A couple of weeks ago I bought myself four bags of giant cola bottle sweets from Tesco (because it was two bags for £1.50 so I stocked up). I ate one and then left the others. On Saturday I went to get a bag and DH had eaten all three bags in secret and when I pulled him up about it he said "I didn't think you were going to eat them". Well, not all at once! He still hasn't replaced them either and I'm genuinely annoyed at his greed and selfishness.

ReanimatedSGB · 12/06/2018 13:40

It is unpleasant behaviour. It's greedy and selfish to eat something that is either meant to be shared, or is the other person's share of a treat, without saying anything.
Sometimes it's because the greedy person is the higher earner and therefore feels entitled to eat anything s/he spots because s/he paid for it really. Sometimes it's a complete inability to put anyone else's needs first - or to consider other people at all.

If OP's DP is only like this around food, then it's possibly a mild eating disorder or at least a disordered attitude towards food, but it might be worth thinking about whether there are other examples of the DP behaving in a thoughtless or selfish way.

TakeAChanseyOnMe · 12/06/2018 13:42

I was on night shift and had leftovers in the fridge to eat before work to save time. Woke up to find DH had eaten them for his lunch. Angry He had to go to McDonald’s prevent LTB.

TERFragetteCity · 12/06/2018 13:46

What is stopping her from going and getting two replacements for the two eclairs that you bought?

KinCat · 12/06/2018 13:48

With something like two eclaires it should be quite clear they're one each to share!

I will admit to being an absolute scoffer when it comes to treats and I can polish off a chocolate bar much quicker than DH. If it's something he's bought though I am capable of exercising restraint. It's very thoughtless and selfish to eat someone else's nice things without replacing them.

How is her relationship with food generally?

NoSquirrels · 12/06/2018 13:49

You have to go properly MENTAL at them. It's the only way. It's disrespectful and greedy. Tell them.

Now, if my DH eats something I was clearly "saving", he has to buy me double.

Whatshallidonowpeople · 12/06/2018 13:50

Yabu to think food is a treat. It's food.

HollowTalk · 12/06/2018 13:50

I think it's greedy and disrespectful, too. I know some might think it's funny but it's pretty sad if you can't keep something for yourself in your own home, particularly when you bought her one, too. She could've eaten yours then gone out to get another one for you.

alwayswearsunscreen · 12/06/2018 13:59

This thread is making me sad. Especially @cherrytree63
I couldn't imagine wanting to deprive my partner of something I knew was for them.

CoffeeIsNotEnough · 12/06/2018 14:02

Kill her with fire OP. It's the only appropriate response.

60sname · 12/06/2018 14:03

Yabu to think food is a treat. It's food.

Oh come on, some food is clearly eaten for the joy of it, rather than for any nutritional benefit.

NoIsACompleteAnswerSometimes · 12/06/2018 14:05

Omg it's like wispagate all over again! 4 wispas in a packet, 2 of us in the house so 2 each right? I had one left, came home from work and he'd eaten the last one. Words were spoken and I made him get another 4 pack and I ate them all.
When my grandson and I go shopping, he always mentions that granddad made a bad choice eating my last wispa, damn straight he did!

alwayswearsunscreen · 12/06/2018 14:05

Op hasn't said she's trying to lose weight or has a bad relationship with food. So yes, a chocolate eclair is a treat.

ciderhouserules · 12/06/2018 14:06

It might be 'lighthearted', op, but it is a shitty, selfish thing to do.

I would be livid, and no, I wouldn't be looking at a fucking lock for the fridge. 2 adults should be able to work out whether a treat for each means 2 for one adult and none for the other.

I'd be having words, and if it happened again, I'd be thinking of leaving.

NoIsACompleteAnswerSometimes · 12/06/2018 14:07

Oh and now he always says he's eaten one to keep the record straight. Lesson learnt but we laugh about it.

MrStarkIDontFeelSoGood · 12/06/2018 14:10

That old thread mentioned was the Harry Potter Chocolate Frog one

Friend had bought them for OPs DC and the DH scoffed them while they were in bed. Couldn't contain himself knowing they were they there and tore the cupboards apart

I thought maybe it was an inbuilt thing from being denied sweets as a child or something. Like a childish compulsion

CookPassBabtridge · 12/06/2018 14:12

I'm a binger/food addict and I think that's really shit and disrespectful. He should have bought you another!

CookPassBabtridge · 12/06/2018 14:14

Sorry I assumed it was a He, SHE needs to buy you another! Maybe two for the inconvenience..

ciderhouserules · 12/06/2018 14:15

MrStark - actually I think it was the Easter Egg thread, can't remember the poster but the gist if it was that the DH went through the house looking, deliberately searching for his daughter's Easter Eggs. Purposefully ate them, because (IIRC) they were 'in his house' and therefore 'his'. Something like that.

I was gobsmacked and I hope she LTB.

Spaghettijumper · 12/06/2018 14:16

My dad used to do this when I was living at home - I'd get a nice bar of chocolate and next thing I knew it'd be gone. He was never very sorry about it and these days I'm practically no-contact with him, not because of this specifically but this is a symptom of his inability to think of anybody but himself. It is really petty and low to eat something someone else is looking forward to. When I was at home I just stopped buying chocolate, there was no point.

In contrast, my DH will buy a Twix, eat half and then leave the other half in the fridge for me. Or will buy two brownies while at work so he can bring one home for me. He would never eat my food because he knows I would eat his head in retaliation

MrStarkIDontFeelSoGood · 12/06/2018 14:19

Chocolate Frog was about 2 years ago. I didn't see Easter Egg one, I did see one about teenage siblings eating much younger siblings eggs.

In the Frog one - the children knew about them and they weren't easily replaceable as they had come from the Studio Tour or Universal.

Terrible behaviour indicative of some pathological issue

Birdsgottafly · 12/06/2018 14:22

The only time I've eaten something of someone else's, or my DD's have eaten something of mine, is when we've been madly hormonal. If my youngest DD's cat was made of chocolate and she is on her first day, she would eat it.

But we live close to shops open until 10pm and are willing to replace what we have eaten. Cakes in the fridge are off limit, because they can't be replaced,we always have frozen chocolate cake in.

My DH was terrible. i used to have to hide the kids lunchbox chocolate (those were the days!). Yes it could be replaced, but I'd buy multi packs from discount shops, to save money.