To expect my twins to be kept together

[Blazingspeed]

Due to start reception in September. School has put them in separate classes without consulting me.
What do I do now? They won’t do well without each other, especially just starting out

In my DS' school, the 2 classes play together fairly regularly in R, so it might be worth checking to see if that happens.

Lifeaback

That video is fucking frightening.

They're separate people and need time to shine individually at school.

Schools do this for a reason. And no, you don't know they'll do better together as they are not in school right now.

Please don't take this the wrong way but do you not think its a bit unfair on your youngest twin that they have to be a crutch for your eldest because they have anxiety?

What’s the point in causing one of the twins upheavel by moving them aftter a few years?

Urgh!! How nasally are those twins’ voices!! Cringe for them. How insecure must they be?

They split them up im afraid.
For all the reasons already mentioned.
Its to make them mire independant/self reliant.

Ok, clearly I don’t know how to reply to individual posts 🙈

Who is being ridiculous and rude? Because people don’t agree with you?

So eldest twin suffers from anxiety then school need Rio written with you to support him and this is the best age to do that.
Do you think just having twin 2 in class will settle him or does twin 2 actively help him?

Contact TAMBA. There is loads of advice. They cannot split them if you don't want them to. Also have a look at Multipals Facebook group - again lots of advice.

I spilt my identical twins. It worked for us.

They moan at secondary school they are in the same maths and PE class.

I think it’s been fairly standard practice for quite a long time. I remember twins being split when I was in infant school in the early 90’s. I don’t think Cardiff LEA was at the time, a trail blazing maverick in terms of its policies either.

Oh my word that video!watch that OP and you will probably be happy with the school's decision.
Give it a go,there's nothing to lose by trying it for a year so they develop individual friends and aptitudes.by insisting they stay together are you not clipping their wings?

I'm a twin. Same class in primary ( only 90 children in the school, so no choice really). Separated in secondary.
I'm not my sister and she isn't me. We have our own personalities, interests and friends.
I was always grateful my parents didn't dress us the same and force us to have the same hobbies and activities.
Unfortunately a lot of people treat twins as inseparable and an extension of the same person. We aren't.

You have put this in AIBU. You may have had a better audience in Primary Education. That said it is common practice to separate twins purely so that the interdependence does not develop further. Do your twins ever visit friends on their own (ie. Without the other twin). You will need to prepare yourself for party invites for just one and not the other and so on. It is good to develop a bit of independence from each other and it won't break their bond.

Personally, I would be furious at the school making this decision. IMO, the parents should be involved.

My DH is a twin. He and his sibling were in the same class all throughout their school years. They are two of the most individual people you could ever meet and both had excellent careers which were completely different.

Thank God we didn't have these "Big Brother" policies in the 60's.

Blazingspeed how do you know they'll do better together? Why not accept the many years of experience the school has at least until half-term and see how it goes. Position it really positively for your twins, that they have the amazing opportunity to make even more friends than anyone else and that they can spend all playtime and lunchtime together if they want to.

Also, if one of your DC has high anxiety, it isn't really fair to expect the other DC to prop that one up. The one with anxiety needs individual help.

Oh you’re being ridiculous. And quite rude. I’m talking about a pair of 4 year olds here.

You've asked for opinions in AIBU. PPs are not rude for giving their opinion.

Because they are separate people and this is when they start to really understand this. There are some very sad stories about what happens when people fight against this and how things turn out.

They get to be individuals in their own rights, have their own different friendships, speak for themselves etc. When my kids were in primary separating twins was standard in first year of school and wherever possible after that. It’s healthy, that’s why it’s standard.

I did know one mum who fought against this and the school gave in. After a year of one child never speaking for themselves as the other dominant/more outspoken child spoke for them and the never-ending daily ‘dobbing’ every day after school of the other child’s travesty’s that day the Mum sheepishly begged them to separate them the following year.

But I know them better than anyone

But you won't know them in school. Trust the school. Also not sure why one twin should have to be the crutch for another in terms of sensitivity.