To think babies just make me feel ‘meh’

[Forthbridge]

I know that I want children with DH, want to be surrounded by our family in the future. Think he would make the best Dad ever, and I’d be a pretty good Mum. But...I’m not a fan of babies. Other people’s, friends’ babies, the “cute” ones in magazines, or toddlers. They do nothing for me and holding or looking at one I have never felt any heart pull. I just feel ‘meh’. I’m also extremely squeamish and a useless scaredy cat with anything medical so childbirth terrifies the hell out of me.
I’m not generally a cold hearted cow. I thoroughly love older children, teenagers and young people (work as a teacher in behavioural unit). I’m also emotionally strong and pretty resilient- just physically squeamish.
I’m 38 and need to get on with it.
Do I just grin and bear it?

No, don’t do it. Really.

Other people's babies are completely different from your own. You'll see!

I'm not really one for babies. I coo at kittens and puppies instead. I'd have had my way my dd would have came out at about 2. How people say they enjoy the new born stage Ill never know.

I don't like other people's babies. But my son is The Best Person Ever. Your reaction to other people's isn't a good gauge.

Child birth literally terrifies me and I've got under six months to go, if they could just knock me out and do it without me I'd be game. I'm not a baby person either, i funny think they are all super cute etc but once they are active, talking a bit and you can really engage with them I think it's different. Only do what you want not what you feel you should though.

The thing is you don't realise it til you have one but they are interesting and engaging from the moment you set eyes on them. Other people's babies look like sullen sleepy potatoes but yours will seem like an interesting amazing human.

Your reaction to your own baby is nothing like your reaction to other babies. We are animals.

Newborns are boring, 6m+ tonnes of fun. Other people's babies are not a good gauge. But don't have babies if you don't want them, its an honour not an obligation.

Such a cliche I know but I was the same until I had my babies, I coo over other people’s babies now as well. I think part of it was a confidence thing in that I didn’t know what to do with babies before I had my own

Don't worry about it. I always wanted a baby of my own but really wasn't very excited about other people's babies. It was a standing joke that any baby handed to me promptly burst into tears and I worried about it all the way through my pregnancy. Anyway, I had a daughter and I can't begin to express how much I love her. I have loved every moment including the newborn phase. If I'd known how much I loved babies I would have started 10 years ago and possibly had about four

Not bothered about newborns (even my own, though obviously still loved her at that age!)

Once they get a bit older though... great fun. Dd is 21 months now and hilarious 😁

I'm the same as you op, but my Mum is border line obsessed with babies. If someone in my family has a baby it doesn't matter how loose her connection is to that person she'll be there making that person her hobby and reporting back info on the mother and baby to other family members as if it were her news to share. The thing is, she was pretty shit when we were kids, not at all interested in children, they irritate her and she'd constantly say things like 'bloody kids, give me a baby any day of the week'
You sound like you have the qualities of a parent that in it for the longevity, far more important than that boring bit that goes by in a flash.

I've never much liked other people's babies either, I fake excitement when I meet them but really could take them or leave them.

My babies however were far superior to all other babies and were truly awesome 😜

Also, when they first hand you your baby and you get that rosey overwhelming rush of love.......I must have missed the memo because that didn't hit me until a couple of week later. Don't let your feelings towards other people's kids effect your decisions......you're designed to like you own

You sound like me. Non-plussed by babies, terrified of childbirth.

I rocked a very long and 'traumatic' labour that ended in a CS. And have been, I hope, a pretty good mother.

I personally think that people with an idealized and romantic view of babyhood and childbirth have a much harder time. It surprised me how strong and capable I was. And how obsessively I loved DD. Whereas other people feel like failures if they aren't perfect.

I could have written what you wrote before falling pregnant. Absolutely terrified. Think I had held one baby for about 10 seconds before having DS. Babies just freaked me out. Also massively squeamish, used to faint just actually thinking about blood.

Won’t lie, pregnancy and birth weren’t enjoyable but my DS is an absolute blessing. Never thought I would be able to clean up sick and poop and not be in the slightest fazed and find it all quite amusing. He’s 9 months now and crawling and babbling away like a maniac it’s hard but really bloody amazing tbh.

Even now find myself with other people’s babies being like awwww 😍 DS has turned me into a big ol softie

I'm the same - no oogly boogly gooey stuff re: babies. Wanted children though, currently pg.

I think it's pretty normal to be meh until you have your own, just the cooing is expected of women so people go along with it. Now cats - cats actually ARE indisputably adorable.

I agree that other people's babies are meh. They're nothing like your own, your own are great.

Honestly I don't think it's an issue to be fussed about babies. That bit lasts 5 mins. Wayyy better than being the other way round and loving the newborn/baby bit then losing interest after

On the flip side, I love babies and the newborn phase, but it's over in the blink of an eye.

The baby phase goes over so quickly then their little personalities start to come out before you know it.

They’re not babies for long. If you like children then go for it.

Do not do it if you aren’t sure you want to.

People sometimes like to egg each other on to have babies, (not on here, but irl), but it really isn’t for everyone and I think it’s quite damaging for everyone concerned, not to mention the planet, when people insist we all must breed, or we’ve somehow failed.

Fwiw I have two dcs, but I wouldn’t have done it if I’d had any doubts. It’s very hard work and a lifelong commitment.

That said, the baby stage doesn’t last long and I’d be more concerned if you said you only liked ickle cute babies, but didn’t want to raise children, teenagers etc.

Other people's babies do not interest me and despite what pps say, nor did mine. I had the protective urge to keep her alive, but that was about it. I have zero maternal fibres in Me, I think teaching used them all up. If you really want a child do it, but don't feel bad if you really don't.

I didn't like babies, still don't. I hated the 1st 6 months for all 3 of mine but two of my three turned into very cute toddlers. The middle one finally turned out to be the best teenager ever. It sounds as if you understand all about children and young adults, which is far more important than a baby which just lies there crying and causing endless worry.

Friend of mine felt as you did. So they went through the arduous adoption process. They are fabulous parents to a 9-year old and all are incredibly happy.