To think babies just make me feel ‘meh’

[Forthbridge]

I know that I want children with DH, want to be surrounded by our family in the future. Think he would make the best Dad ever, and I’d be a pretty good Mum. But...I’m not a fan of babies. Other people’s, friends’ babies, the “cute” ones in magazines, or toddlers. They do nothing for me and holding or looking at one I have never felt any heart pull. I just feel ‘meh’. I’m also extremely squeamish and a useless scaredy cat with anything medical so childbirth terrifies the hell out of me.
I’m not generally a cold hearted cow. I thoroughly love older children, teenagers and young people (work as a teacher in behavioural unit). I’m also emotionally strong and pretty resilient- just physically squeamish.
I’m 38 and need to get on with it.
Do I just grin and bear it?

I loved babies while I was waiting for mine. Mine was brilliant! Now mine is 3, babies are meh.

People keep telling me I must miss that baby stage. I don’t, I really don’t. I like 3 year olds, they talk and song and play and everything!

I used to be the same, they never interested me whatsoever, people say though it's different when you have your own and it's so true!

The thing is you don't realise it til you have one but they are interesting and engaging from the moment you set eyes on them

err not true

I'm very "meh" about babies, even my own - but they grow into interesting humans

When DH and I decided to try I had very low expectations of what the birth and the younger months were going to be like, but was prepared to accept that to get the family I wanted. I thoroughly loved mat leave with DD.

My sister in law had a completely opposing view that it was all going to be sunshine and butterflies and was deeply disappointed and shocked following the birth.

Agree with PP though that if you don't think you want them, don't. Might sound like I'm stating the bleeding obvious but it is hard work and pretty relentless despite DD being the best person on the planet.

I am very ‘meh’ about the baby stage. I have two, and found it much more interesting when they reached 6 months.
Currently pregnant with my third. DH and I have said all along that it’s not necessarily that we want another baby, but we want another person in our family.
My children are 4.5 and nearly 3 now and in the main, delightful.

I think a bit of detachment from the 'ooh, cutesy baby' mode wouldn't do any harm tbh. I like children, but I never understand the 'ooh, must come cuddle the baby' impulse some people seem to have with newborns.

One of the dads at work described his son as a 'screaming shitting potato' for the first six months of his life. A screaming shitting potato that he loved and couldn't wait to get home to every day, but a potato nonetheless.

Being a good parent doesn't require going all smushy over babies.

I never had the faintest interest in other people's babies. Mine were different, of course - though even then, I preferred it when they were toddlers (I absolutely loved having toddlers). And despite having had three of my own, I still have no interest at all in other people's babies. I just make the right enthusiastic noises, but am thinking: whatever.

I've never been a baby person. Utterly adore my own ds though. He is 7mo and is actually the best baby who has ever lived

But don't have a baby unless you actually really want one. They are hard work!

But yeah, I agree with the posters who say don’t have children unless you really really want to. No one has to have children. It’s hard work.

Yes I’m the same, not at all moved by other people’s babies, don’t want a shot, not interested at all, please take it away. Completely head over heels obsessed with my own though.

I never liked babies. Still don't, and I had five of them. It's just a stage they have to get through to become interesting people. From two onwards, they are brilliant, but babies don't do much apart from torture you with sleep deprivation and random noise. Once they can talk, they are lovely!

Mine are all grown up now. I loved them as babies, but I didn't like them.

Plenty of people feel that way.

Fear of childbirth and how pregnancy and childbirth will affect our bodies is just rational!

Whether H will share the parenting, including nights (potentially for years!) and domestic work, is a key factor IMO.

Given how short the baby phase is, relatively speaking, probably better to prefer older children, teenagers etc! I’m the same as you OP. Not fussed about babies but love kids and pretty family-oriented. I figured that pregnancy and negotiating an infant are just steps on the way to building our family. Actually I ended up really cherishing DDs baby days, although she’s way more fun now she’s a toddler. If a family with kids is what you and your partner want, you’ll have to go through the baby bit, but it’s only a couple of years, and you may well surprise yourself. Or if you really don’t like babies, adopting an older child might be something to consider?

Currently 37 weeks pregnant and feel same..midwife said it's normal. I like older children and my step children especially a lot. Don't feel forced if you wnat them do.it and if not then don't. They doñt stay babies for long!

Luckily, they don't stay as babies! They don't do much for me either, although I attribute that to being older and nature's way

I feel exactly the same so i got a dog, she's my only baby

It's just a stage they have to get through to become interesting people. From two onwards, they are brilliant, but babies don't do much apart from torture you with sleep deprivation and random noise. Once they can talk, they are lovely!

This is pretty much what I think. Never had any desire to be pregnant or have a baby other than to have a child.

Ive never been broody or gone googly over other people's babies. But I always knew I wanted a family. It's totally different with your own baby! They're beautiful and amazing and you just love them so much.

Was also scared of childbirth before getting pregnant. I did hypnobirthing, which was amazing and took all the fear away. I would highly recommend if you do decide to have children

are you sure you really want to have kids or just not questioned the sterotype of life options churned out by people like my own mother.

Babies, other people's babies, are horrific creatures.

I can just about cope with the babies of really close friends or family but otherwise they're maggots really until around 2 or 3.

My own baby, well, I didn't get that rush of love that others experience. I firstly had a small screaming creature that was my responsibility, but somehow over the course of 3 weeks I came to love her with a fierceness I did not know I possessed. My baby was the most glorious of babies, the epitome of loveliness and all that was good and pure.

I agree hypnosis might help with your fear of childbirth and you can still have pain relief if you need it.

As many have already commented, "babies" are meh and mostly leave me cold, like people in general.

MY baby DS is the most beautiful creature on this earth.

Apart from issues around child birth, I agree. Babies are ok, but I prefer children or even teens. I prefer DS now at 13 years old than at 13 months.

Another one here who doesn't like other people's babies and still doesn't. The first 12 weeks with mine were pretty dull as well. But here's the thing - when someone else's baby rolls over, you think 'of course they did, they're a baby'. When it's yours and you have seen them develop from barely being able to open their eyes, to learning how to roll on their side, then their surprise when they finally roll over...it's strangely wonderful

Ps if you are really scared of birth could you book in to have a section? Not an easy option but a bit more predictable - you know what to expect