Hi everyone, I posted this --
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3249894-MIL-from-hell-bring-popcorn-wtf-do-I-do-with-her?pg=14
-- a few weeks ago. Since then, things have been quite good. We've had a few issues (her slagging me off to my mum, she's super super manipulative and it sparked a massive argument between my mum and I). I had a text from her re the hairdresser for the wedding and I text her on the morning of a hospital scan to wish her good luck - but otherwise had absolutely no contact at all.
DP has been the happiest he's been. He has had an occasional phone call with her and popped into the house to ask his dad for some help with the car, but aside from that, that's it.
Weekend just gone was his stag. A really lovely weekend was organised for him (just what he needed!) and he came home yesterday pm bouncing, despite his hangover lol. Showing me photos/videos, telling me what they got up to etc. Really happy.
I met up with SIL over the weekend and she told me that she too has had no contact, bar one phonecall to discuss seeing grandkids (initiated by SIL). Throughout the whole phonecall, MIL repeatedly slagged off the whole family, mainly me. SIL sounded like she did a great job in trying to keep on topic and discuss the kids however it eventually ended with SIL saying that she would not tolerate listening to this and put the phone down. SIL told me about this conversation and I decided not to share with DP, not to upset him.
This morning, DP called MIL on his way into work, just to check in. I think the child in him wanted to share what a lovely weekend he'd had. She told him that she was so glad that he'd had a lovely weekend because she was now on anti-d's and wanted to kill herself all weekend, how lonely she was.... (FIL didn't go on stag so she wasn't alone...) and how upset she was that I didn't reach out to her over the weekend and plan something with her.
Aside from seeing SIL, I had a lovely, very busy weekend spent with my friends and hobby.
DP then called me, really upset, saying how he felt so sorry for her and that he was sad that I'd not reached out to her this weekend. I pointed out that I didn't understand why this weekend was an exception, how was I to know she was feeling lonely, she had FIL, absolutely no difference to any other weekend and even if I wanted to, I had hobby commitments so would have struggled for time.
He ended up getting angry saying how he can't cope that I hate his mum, I started crying, completely out of the blue, I was sat on the sofa catching up with work emails. Ended the call. 10 mins later he text saying he loved me and was sorry, I didn't reply, was upset.
I replied half an hour later saying I loved him but this is really getting me down, our wedding is 4 weeks away and he cannot let his mum manipulate him, or interfere in our relationship. He said she isn't and loves me like a daughter?? I said very hard to believe when she's said some v nasty stuff about me to SIL and told him what was said. Maybe I'm expecting too much, but if I had heard someone talk about DP like that, I would be straight on the phone, asking why they'd said this. Anyway, his response was "take it with a pinch of salt."
I then got v v angry that he couldn't back me and was again letting her control and interfere. I completely saw red and did call her a "psycho controlling bitch" which was probably the most PG thing I had in my head!!!
Anyway, this has continued back and forth all day, him saying he feels unsupportive me hating his mum, me thinking wtf he is letting her control and ruin our relationship. BIL has had a chat with him and agreed that he thinks she's trying to ruin the wedding.
Absolute mess. I don't know what to do. My head is saying run, my heart is staying stick with him.
This sounds pathetic and that I'm overreacting but I really do feel like this is the final nail in the coffin.