To really really hate these funeral plan adverts?!

[sharkirasharkira]

They are just fucking everywhere at the moment and they drive me absolutely mad. They're also getting really guilt-trippy and almost emotionally manipulative!

You know the ones -

Older couple/couple of friends, discussing their dearly departed's recent beautiful funeral and commenting that they couldn't POSSIBLY afford anything THAT nice!!

Or alternatively saying that X passed away recently and HER POOR FAMILY they had to cough up MANY THOUSANDS for a funeral!!

Translation -

That selfish person had the temerity to die and not leave thousands behind specifically to pay for their funeral. They've put their loved ones in SO MUCH DEBT!! How AWFUL of them!

Cue the ad for pre-paid funeral plans, etc etc.

Just winds me up that they are pushing SO hard to get us to feel so guilty. I have enough guilt in my life, thanks. I don't need any more from bloody adverts!

I don't want a funeral, at all. I would much rather my loved ones spend their money living life, seeing the world, having fun, or putting it towards their futures rather than wasting it on buying me a very expensive box for my remains to live in.

If you want to have one of these plans, or pay thousands for a funeral then that is absolutely your choice. No issue with that. I just don't want it shoved down my throat every time I turn on the TV! Aibu?

I want June and Binocular Bill to take their savings and run away to sea together. That'll learn parsnip girl!

Is a woodland burial plot really 'only' £400?

Seems incredibly cheap. Is that the price fixed even for 50 years in the future? Land is at a premium in the UK so I can only imagine plots will get very pricey very soon and that cremations will be encouraged.

To do a DIY funeral, you'd need to have some strong family members earmarked to do the carrying. You don't know how many years in the future the funeral will be or who will be around to do it and if they will be well and fit enough to do it.

I think I'd just rather hand it all off to professionals TBH and use my time for grieving. You may be in shock especially in the case of a sudden death and just not up to doing anything.

I am in total agreement about some of the adverts the one where they are gossiping about their friend Margaret is horrible so gossipy as if poordead Margaret should be ashamed of herself. I prefer the funeral directer adverts

Martin Lewis of Moneysavingexpert fame says these plans are a rip-off I don't think he does actually. Are you getting confused with the 'over 50s life insurance' type plans?

I don't care what sort of funeral I have. I'll be dead and won't know anything about it. Above the basic legal minimum of disposing of the body correctly, funerals are for the benefit of the deceased's relatives.

If money is an issue, nobody should feel railroaded into spending more than the basics. Of course even the basics are expensive, but fancy headstones etc are simply icing on the cake and in no way a reflection of the love for the deceased or the level of grief so people shouldn't be getting into debt or be guilt tripped by what others think 'should' be provided as a send off or memorial.

Prepaid funeral plans actually sound like a good idea, especially when those left behind may struggle with the cost.

Dingdong, if you're referring to me, then I disagree that the adverts are aimed at the wrong people. These companies know exactly who they're targeting - the often already sick and desperate who have no choice but to sign up for a rip off scheme because other avenues aren't open to them. Yet they are presented as being a middle class pleasant little way of sorting things out, no rip off at all, nothing to see here, we're just helping as we fleece you. See also: payday loans apparently with clientele who are homeowners, have professional jobs and run cars.

My friend has just pre-arranged and paid for a woodland funeral for herself when her time comes. It was actually quite expensive, and green funerals have a lot of stipulations (body mustn't be embalmed so has to be bured very soon after death). So it's not quite as simple as it sounds...

Someone we know is in the middle of arranging her DM's funeral after she recently died in her late 90s. Her funeral plan was with an undertaker local to where she lived before moving to a care home near her family. Not sure about all of the details but it sounds like they are having to arrange the funeral back in the home town 100 miles away in order to benefit from the plan. An added layer of stress at a difficult time. I hadn't heard of this before.

I have no issues at all with this. People should be encouraged to plan ahead where possible and even basic cremations or burials are expensive.

My MIL's funeral was as basic as we could make it while still being nice and conforming to her wishes. There was also a large extended family coming, many from long distances away, for whom a basic buffet and drinks were needed and it really would have been poor form not to provide it, especially as MIL had said to all that everyone was to have a good drink up on her when the time came.

She didn't leave savings or a funeral plan, so we were worried to start with. Thankfully the funeral director was understanding, and with a couple of down payments, we could wait until her house had been sold to clear it. A proper funeral plan would have made things so much easier.

I've never heard of paying everyone's travel fares and hotel bills for a funeral though. We didn't do that. Everyone paid their own.

I prepaid mine when I was diagnosed with cancer. No way could my husband find all that money and I don't want him to have to organise it all either. He just takes the paperwork to the funeral company when I go and they sort it. One less worry for everyone 😊

Even if you don't want a funeral, death is still expensive, OP.
Direct disposal costs money, too...
There's collection of the body, FD charges, the cremation itself, coffin, return of ashes. It cost us about £1000 for a direct disposal a few years ago.

YOU should make sure you leave adequate money for your loved ones to do this.

My mum died last year and there was no way I could have afforded the £3300 it cost for her basic funeral without the money left in her account (which was only there because she'd unfortunately spent her last 3 months in hospital, she was very very bad with money)

I will definitely be sorting out a funeral plan, I wouldn't want to leave it to my kids to pay out.

The adverts don't bother me, I ignore them like I do most ads.

I don't think it is undignified to put me in the back of the family car, and this is just the point I am making. We have ideas about how we should have a funeral and many people believe that it is disrespectful to do less. I really don't give 2 hoots about what happens to my remains. I have given instructions so that my family don't have to spend silly money to put me in the ground. I really don't want it ! By leaving my instructions they can say it is what I wanted and leave it at that. I understand that some have religious beliefs but I have none. No grave, no need for headstone and eventually my body is no more, so I am not worried about how long I am in the plot for but I will have grown a tree and wildlife in and around it. In my view, a better end.

Lois I think you and I have the exact same philosophy

I really don't care what happens to me, I won't know either way!

I don't have an issue with the prepayments, or leaving money for a funeral, it's the manipulative nature of the adverts. Yes to the PP with regards to the gossipy women bad mouthing Margret. Leaves a very bad taste.

What if your family don't want to be humping your dead body around, Lois? Have you considered that/them?
As I said above, the most basic disposal still costs money, so we should all see to that where possible.

It doesn’t matter though that you don’t care what happens to you. Even the cheapest possible burial will set you back a few grand and they are compulsory you don’t just get to leave the body of a relative and say you sort it I’m not bothered.
It’s selfish to expect your family to have to pay for it. My mum and Dad both have funeral plans so I’m not faced with a big bill when they die.

Do you not need some sort of humphing the body licence ? I am pretty sure you can't take a body in your car . I would google how to move a body but scared It would alert the police or something

My fil had a prepaid funeral plan and it was one of the best things he could do for us.
Not only was everything paid for upfront but the whole plan was in place from music to be played and the readings he wanted. No one had to make decisions on anything and we knew he was getting what he wanted so no one could argue about anything.
Even basic Funerals are expensive and very emotionally draining at a differcult time to organise. So why would you not try to make it easier for those you leave behind?

I totally agree. However, they have always been around.
The thing that bothers me most is, surely they will just drive up the cost of funerals for everyone?
In years gone by, funerals were paid from the deceased's estate. clearly that meant quite a bit of lead time for undertakers, so I see these advertisements as an encouragement to simplify the undertakers' cashflow process.

if An estate is going to probate there is no delay on paying funeral fees as this can still be paid from the estate by the solicitor or who ever is handling the probate.
When you arrange a funeral they will ask who is going to be responsible for the bill and invoice accordingly.

YANU for the cringeworthy commercials. However, you're definitely VU re: your thought processing on disposing of a body.

One cannot just bury a body in the woods with a tree. I don't fancy anybody's chances in court.

My mother died suddenly. She was a nightmare with money and I'd just got her settled on a funeral plan. Three months in, she passed away. Family said they'd contribute and they didn't. The cost was left to me. And there is no recourse to challenging the bill. Funeral poverty is a huge area that bypasses people.

It placed me and my husband in poverty for a year and if you don't pay, it's off to court and bailiffs. I've seen it happen. My mother had the cheapest funeral for £2500. We didn't have a car. We didn't have a wake. She was cremated.

The adverts, I get. But, funeral costs? Massive area. My Mil has paid off her funeral so we havent that to worry about.

Even the most basic funeral costs quite a bit of money.

The one with the youngish bloke and his bizarrely elderly mum cooking him fish fingers makes me want to 🤮

Woodland funerals can be cheaper but most people don’t live near a woodland burial site so extra costs incurred just getting there.

Probably the cheapest funeral is a direct funeral but still not cheap. There are certain fees that will always need to be paid no matter how you decide to dispose of the body.

If the deceased dies in hospital then the body can be kept in the mortuary until the internment. The doctor attending will give the paperwork for the death certificate, there is legally no need for a coffin, a shroud is sufficient. And legally there is no requirement for a hearse, so the back of the car is fine. As I said; my family are in agreement with my wishes. After all, I've sat in the car often enough. The best thing we can do is talk to our loved ones in respect of our wishes. These are mine, it might be odd but I think it is more in line with what used to happen. I am from a small village in a rural county, I could show you the village churchyard and rows of my ancestors graves, mostly now ignored as family have died or moved away. I would rather have a tree than that.

Lois, I believe your family are humouring you with the back of the car thing. Nobody who loved you and is grieving is gonna fancy trying to move your stiff cold corpse wrapper up in a shroud into and out of a car. Dead bodies are very heavy and stiff.