I'm not but have been accused of being a CF.

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

My son is in hospital, he come regularly for 2 weeks at a time. He has major food issues after being pushed and pushed to eat more and more for 2 years. He now has a gastrostomy but still has to eat 3 meals a day. He has a very, very limited list of foods he will eat.

He will NOT eat anything on the menu on the ward, eating is hugely important we have to get his weight up.

I am on my arse skint at the moment, these trips cost us a lot and I'm self employed so don't get paid when I'm not there.

What I've been doing is taking his meal from the ward for myself (always order a small portion) and then using my very small food budget I'd set aside for myself to buy DS a meal he will actually eat. (I walk to the nearest Tesco and get a ready meal for £1)
I figure I'm not taking anything extra from the hospital and both of us get to eat this way.

I've overheard a couple of mums complaining that I'm a CF and should just buy 2 meals a day if DS won't eat ward food. I can't see that I am but thought I'd check the jury of MN.

I don’t believe your a CF at all after reading that.
Ignore the gossipers

Under all circumstances I think it's ok now I've read your post (I didn't expect to). You could think of it like this - he chooses spaghetti bolognese from the hospital, you bring your own sandwich. He gets it and says I don't like it mummy so you swap so his isn't wasted and you both get to eat. I can see where they're coming from but it sounds like you are really struggling. Hope he improves soon.

So you are eating a child's portion of hospital food - be careful you are eating enough to keep up your strength. I feel so sorry for you, and in no way are you a cf.

Sounds fine to me :)

My bet is that most staff on the ward would totally encourage you to do this - I know I would. Have you spoken to anyone about whether you can get help with costs particularly for travel? Also does the hospital have a charity who might help or link with a charity do you can be there with unpaid leave? And also have you pushed them on providing your son with meals he will eat. Obviously you can’t be there all the time so what happens when you are not? As you probalay know all food not eaten has to go in the bin usually whether opened or not. You are doing your best I am so sorry to hear that others are being so snippy with you about it. I think you are being far from unreasonable and they should take a running jump with their opinions.

Yanbu and yanb a cf either .

I think it’s really sad that parents aren’t fed to begin with.

YANBACF.

What dickheads. Ignore them.

Sorry know that you didn’t come on for advice but am so cross for you that you are being made uncomfortable...if their is a Ronald McDonald house at the hospital their staff should help or PALs office. Ward staff will know. You might want to look at Rainbow Trust or Stay websites.

It costs a fortune to be in hospital with a sick child particularly when they are struggling to eat.

Don't for one second feel guilty.

I am willing to bet those gossiping parents are frequent flyers.
I used to get pissed off with the ones who were only in for a few days, were over the worst and worry and spent the rest of the stay being judgemental nosy about the other parents.

Take care of yourself

You are not a CF.

If anything them other mum's are selfish twats.

Their children are in hospital, yet all they give a fuck about is what you're eating, and causing shit for you?

How very mature of them. Tell them in a calm stern voice.

'Sorry, But I really do not care for your shit at this minute of time. My main priority is looking after my son, Not gossiping, maybe take a leaf out of my book instead of being nosey bitches' and close the curtain.

Good luck OP

I feel so sad for you 😢
You are not a C.F you are an amazing Mummy!

I'm so pleased you've have positive responses and really good advice above

As a student I worked at a local hospital taking round afternoon teas.
At first we were allowed to take home any unused cake etc which had not been on the ward - then a new catering manager vetoed this as "unsafe", and nothing could leave the hospital premises. It was all thrown away. Could this be the problem here?

Whenever I've been at hospital I've HAD to order food whether I like it or not. Would these gossipers rather the food just gets wasted? YANBU

You are not a cf. As long as your son gets his food, that's the main thing. You wouldn't be able to afford to feed yourself and your DS, so I think it's perfectly reasonable that you eat his food. You don't need to explain yourself, but did you call them out on why you were doing what you were doing? Might shame them to zip it.

So sorry your son is going through this

My 9 month old also has eating issues and has had surgery on his oesophagus. He will very likely need more surgery in the future. It's very hard when eating is the issue as it's such a huge part of life.

Ignore everyone else!

Please get help. As mentioned above there are lots of charities set up to help families like yours. Ignore the other parents, they don't know what it is like for you.

If he won't eat it, what would they rather do, you go hungry and throw good food in the bin too? I could understand a bit more if you were pinching all his food and leaving him with none, but that's not the case at all, as you're buying him a meal he'll eat in replacement! They sound like nasty, judgemental gossips, ignore them.

I’ sometimes amazed at the lengths people will go to for a freebie, but even I know that no-one eats hospital food for the joy of it.

I’ with Flames on these other parents’ attitudes.

The hospital I am on placement at will provide meals for people who are caring for patients (i.e. who are looking after them on the ward, rather than just coming in as visitors) - I think it's a way of showing appreciation for the help they give the patients. So by doing what you are, you would actually be saving our Trust money. It seems a bit mean-spirited to object, really - you both need to eat!

I think that's perfectly reasonable.
The food your son was being given by the hospital would only go to waste if you didn't eat it, so what's their beef? He's not going without, you're feeding him - and the food's not going to waste because you're eating it, so not wasting NHS resources.

Some people just don't have enough to concern them with their own business, so they like to stick their noses into other people's, without having the first clue of their circumstances.

FWIW, when my 4yo DS2 was in hospital from having his appendix out, he barely ate anything the hospital provided, so I ended up eating it (where I could) and got him other stuff that he would eat. Same thing except that I did it to avoid waste rather than because I financially needed to - you have a far better reason to do it.

Carry on and ignore them. Hope your boy is out soon. xx

They're obviously just jealous about all that delicious hospital food you are getting to eat!

Ignore them. What does it matter who eats it? You aren't asking for extra ffs. How anyone can even notice or care what other parents are doing while their children are sick is odd.

They can't be that concerned about their own kids if they are noticing what everyone else is doing and bitching about it. I would stop feeling upset by them and start feeling sorry for them.

People like this are often deeply unhappy in themselves - your excellent care for your son is possibly highlighting their own fears of being inadequate (even though they may not be, emotions are weird).

I'd try for dignified silence, but if you absolutley must say something, try "You're so lucky your child is well enough to eat normally. Hopefully we'll get there too!" with a nice big smile as you walk past them.