I'm not but have been accused of being a CF.

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

My son is in hospital, he come regularly for 2 weeks at a time. He has major food issues after being pushed and pushed to eat more and more for 2 years. He now has a gastrostomy but still has to eat 3 meals a day. He has a very, very limited list of foods he will eat.

He will NOT eat anything on the menu on the ward, eating is hugely important we have to get his weight up.

I am on my arse skint at the moment, these trips cost us a lot and I'm self employed so don't get paid when I'm not there.

What I've been doing is taking his meal from the ward for myself (always order a small portion) and then using my very small food budget I'd set aside for myself to buy DS a meal he will actually eat. (I walk to the nearest Tesco and get a ready meal for £1)
I figure I'm not taking anything extra from the hospital and both of us get to eat this way.

I've overheard a couple of mums complaining that I'm a CF and should just buy 2 meals a day if DS won't eat ward food. I can't see that I am but thought I'd check the jury of MN.

I'm glad the staff are on board, Tits. Do not feel guilty! I also stayed bedside as I was on my own with DD1. Hope you're out of there soon.

Fuck them. If they've got sick children in hospital you would've thought they'd have better things to occupy their time than making judgemental and spiteful comments about another parent.

Hope your DS manages to gain weight. This must be a really awful and worrying time for you

Crikey. You’ve all got poorly kids yet they’ve found something to bitch about. I suppose it gives the, something to do and it’s about them and their lives, not yours.

We did this when I was in hospital after have ds. DH ate the terrible hospital food and brought me lovely m+s salads from downstairs.
Not a CF at all.
Hope your ds picks up soon.

Just ignore them - they’re bloody rude idiots.

Tick all the available options, no need to ‘go small’. You eating as well as you can (not exactly easy with hospital food) is not going to cause the demise of the NHS.

Look after yourself as best you can 💐

So your son is on the ward & entitled to a meal, which you order for him.

He won't eat it, so you do.

Sounds like a good idea if anything!

Does he only eat the one meal that you supply?

Yes he eats the food I bring (Spag Bol is all he'll eat for now!)

No breakfast or evening meal?

My little boy was in hospital with leukaemia and backwards and forwards for 3 years. It's a horrible experience and SO bloody expensive to feed yourself. We ended up in debts that we are still paying off. Sending best wishes to you and your son op x

The only way YABU is for ordering a small portion.
You need to keep your strength up in order to support your child so please order a large portion from now on.

In no way are you a CF either

My DD was in and out of hospital for just 3 months, we are now at 18 months including outpatient visits which are weekly at the moment. The hospital is 60 miles away. The cost of travel and food is crazy! We have to take a packed lunch for OPAs because there’s no way we can afford to eat out once a week.

Do what you have to do to get through it. Ignore those who wish to judge - my bet is that they haven’t had to cope with life changing long term illnesses. My local hospital encourages the parents to eat the food that hasn’t been fished out from the trolleys so it doesn’t go to waste.

If you’re in Sussex I’d happily bring you a home cooked meal and some spaghetti bolognese 🍝

Yes he has 1 sausage and a hash brown and a peach and apricot yoghurt for breakfast from the cafe (the dietician sorted it so we don't pay) I have sachets of porridge that I brought from home that I make up with bailing water from the parents lounge kettle.
Lunch is a meal from the food trolley that he won't eat so the dietician sends him cheese and crackers and crisps and an orange. He gets all other nutrients from his overnight formulae feed.
He's 13 and used to eat 5k calories a day easily but gained no weight, he was constantly being told to get more in until he snapped and now won't eat hardly anything unless it's his current fad. Last time we were here he only ate sweet and sour chicken.

It sounds very difficult for you, I actually think parents should be fed as well in hospital so they can look after their dc with reduced stress. You should tick large portion and continue your good parenting.

"dietician sends him cheese and crackers and crisps and an orange. "

And that's supposed to replace the main meal?

That's not enough at all, is it?

There should be a system whereby parents can order a meal & pay towards it.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having his dinner if he doesn't want it ... honestly, the staff won't even bat an eyelid. I don't know how these other mums have time to notice what someone does with a dinner.. they are not worth your time, just ignore them.

I know what its like to have a child who won't eat, DS has autism and has PediaSure, although he has started eating some sloppy foods (fingers crossed will keep on going with this) he's about the same age as your son, and also needs to put on quite a bit of weight.. more chance of hell freezing over than that happening though.

As mentioned above there are lots of charities set up to help families like yours

Unfortunately this is not the case.
I find help for parents of sick kids for my job. Its hit and miss, complicated and time consuming.

Hope things get better for you x

I really want to know who 'all these charities set up to help families like yours' are that help feed parents who are on their own with their kids in hospital.

I dropped a couple of stone quick when in with DD1 as I wasn't eating much due to expense - the only hospital that could treat her is 2 hours from our home and DH had to stay with our then toddler son and younger daughter.

Those other mums are heartless bitches.

Please keep doing what you are doing, change it to a large portion and I do hope your DS gets better soon. Chin up.

You're doing nothing wrong

For a little perspective to some of the posters slating the other parents though, hospital stays with children are expensive for everyone. Most children's hospitals will only feed breastfeeding mothers and the price of food available in hospitals to buy doesn't help matters. There will be parents there going hungry because their child is eating the hospital meal and they can't afford to feed themselves. And on a hospital ward, there's not a huge amount to do other than people watching. And they're there with an ill child themselves so will be stressed.

If this an I'm going issue could you apply for dla to give you some more money?

'If this an I'm going issue could you apply for dla to give you some more money?'

You do realise you can lose your DLA if you spend a certain number of days in hospital, don't you?

Not anymore expat. They have changed that rule. Thank goodness.

When my DF was in hospital (for many weeks) he wouldn’t eat. The wonderful staff absolutely insisted my DSM ate his food and kept up her strength. You are not a CF

They go through the menu, circle what they want (not that they don't like hospital food, weirdly they do, they just don't eat a lot in general). I then go and fill in ALL the gaps possible and that's my b'fast and lunch and half of dinner done wink

Now that really is CFery, how do you think that's ok??