I'm not but have been accused of being a CF.

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

My son is in hospital, he come regularly for 2 weeks at a time. He has major food issues after being pushed and pushed to eat more and more for 2 years. He now has a gastrostomy but still has to eat 3 meals a day. He has a very, very limited list of foods he will eat.

He will NOT eat anything on the menu on the ward, eating is hugely important we have to get his weight up.

I am on my arse skint at the moment, these trips cost us a lot and I'm self employed so don't get paid when I'm not there.

What I've been doing is taking his meal from the ward for myself (always order a small portion) and then using my very small food budget I'd set aside for myself to buy DS a meal he will actually eat. (I walk to the nearest Tesco and get a ready meal for £1)
I figure I'm not taking anything extra from the hospital and both of us get to eat this way.

I've overheard a couple of mums complaining that I'm a CF and should just buy 2 meals a day if DS won't eat ward food. I can't see that I am but thought I'd check the jury of MN.

Are hospital monitoring what he eats? You should tell them you have to provide food.

Oh my lovely you're not A CF. I'm sorry your son is poorly.
Only thing I'd say is that i would tick the large portion, you need to Eat enough to be strong for your son.

Yes please do tick a large portion, you need to be eating enough to support your son. You are not the CF, they are. Why on earth would they comment anyway when someone's child is sick? Beyond me.

Hoping your son has better support with his food stuff soon. These things can be so hard to deal with in a family

This sort of situation highlights why lone parents need a minimum guaranteed income to be able to work at all.

The food would be thrown away and wasted if your son couldn't eat it, so of course you are not being a CF. Some people are just plain nasty.
The hospital should have different menus to deal with various food issues, its shocking they cant feed him.

No you aren't a CF.

A relation of mine use to be frequently in hospital as a teenager and frequently didn't like the food. So if myself or someone else visited him and gave him food he preferred, then he would offer you his meal. I've also visited a couple of other adults who have done the same.

They all have had relations, normally their mum, who worked in a hospital so knew their uneaten food would go in the bin.

Thanks, I'm glad to know you all agree. There's no charity support here although we get support back home when we're in our local hospital. I shall now go and fetch my Shepard's pie without a hint of guilt.

You're fine.

I was glared at by hospital staff because I finished off my 14mth old dd's hospital meal (a massive jacket potato) during a rather awful stay there. She only wanted a couple of mouthfuls, and it would have only gone in the bin, surely? I was still breastfeeding her, and bloody starving. It was difficult to get myself anything to eat, because I couldn't really leave her - I had to wait till DH got there in the evening.

Look after yourself OP.

Ignore those bitchy twats. YANBU

Definitely not being cheeky.

Have you looked into whether you can reclaim parking/travel expenses too - I believe this is (or at least was) possible.

www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/Healthcosts/Pages/Travelcosts.aspx

You'd have to read the rules carefully, and if you're not available it looks like some help might be available from your local council.

The Red Cross might be able to advise on any grants you could be eligible for.

Eligible, not available.

Not being a CF at all - order a large portion and don’t give it a second thought!

I hope things get easier, DS2 had a gastrostomy for a few years, hardest thing I’ve ever done weaning him off it. He’s still pretty fussy and has a few issues around food but no longer a tube user.

And definitely look into any financial support from charities, I never realized how expensive it would be having a child in and out of hospital.........

No, of course you're not being a cf!! I agree with all the other posters.

Hope things start looking up for you and your son

'Please get help. As mentioned above there are lots of charities set up to help families like yours.'

Which? When DD1 was in she had cancer. CLICSargeant helped us out but no other charities. Even if you get a place at the Ronald Macdonald House the room didn't come with food.

Totally not a CF but have you got a Sikh gurdwara near? They do a daily “langar” where you could go and have chappati and curry?

Bloody hell they sound like nosy cows! You've got enough going on just ignore them!

On my chemo day ward we all get fed - patients and hangers-on alike (ie wives / husbands / partners / children / friends).

You need to keep your strength up too, in order to care for your DS. Don't give these people a second thought. Of course you're not a CF.

"MrsKoala

They're obviously just jealous about all that delicious hospital food you are getting to eat! hmm"

TitsalinaBumSquash

There's nothing wrong with what you're doing. Screw those judgemental women.

I have seen patient's relatives eating the patient's food, leaving them without which is obviously not acceptable! However that isn't the case here, so waste not want not.

I'm sure you have discussed his food with the medical team and dietitian, but if not then please do so. Dietitians particularly seem to have a degree of flex with the kitchen in tweaking meals for patients, more so than the nurses.

Ignore the other mums. They don't know your financial situation and even if they did, they don't matter, your son does. So fuck em.

We are frequent flyers.

Child has small appetite. You have the ability to order quite an enormous amount of food. I take advantage of this. They go through the menu, circle what they want (not that they don't like hospital food, weirdly they do, they just don't eat a lot in general). I then go and fill in ALL the gaps possible and that's my b'fast and lunch and half of dinner done . I have been told off by the odd nurse for doing this but I ignore them, it's common sense.

There's no RM house, I stay bedside. I have spoken to the dieticians who are closely involved and they're happy for me to do what's needed.

You re definitely not a CF nd they are twats.

You aren't a CF, but people are funny about hospital food. My mum was in with a foster child for about two weeks after they had surgery. The child was 2 and didn't eat - everything was given by NG tube. My mum wasn't allowed to eat any of the food from the child's plate because apparently it was weighed to see how much the child was eating, even after it was explained, several times, that the child couldn't eat solid food. Which is why they had the NG. So the whole plate was taken and binned after every meal, while my mum had to wait until someone from our family could deliver food to her as she wasn't allowed to leave the child due to other health issues which the ward wasn't able to manage. It's batshit.

Sorry if that was a bit direct, just it upset me in a way reading this. Youre trying to do your very best for your son, under what sounds like really difficult circumstances. And the thought of some nasty other parents there criticising you is horrible. Maybe they haven't had to struggle in the same way. I know what it's like to have a collection of change and have to decide do I have a milkshake or do I have a chocolate bar? Can't have both. Shower gel or soap? Not both. It's utterly horrible and hospital costs can really, really add up. I hope he is receiving good care nd I definitely would speak to them bout the meals and see if there are any changes tht can be made because idelly he would be able to eat the shospital ones or they can change little things to make it easier for him.

Nothing new to say except to add to the weight of voices saying you are definitely not a CF. Those other mums are vile bitches, I hate people who judge others like that, no-one fully knows anyone else’s situation and in a hospital situation people should be supportive of each other. So sorry you and your son are going through this OP

You carry on OP. Just ignore them and know that if they had the bollocks to actually say something to your face, you have a perfectly valid reason for what you are doing.

Also great username