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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This holiday situation

134 replies

Butterflykissess · 10/06/2018 15:47

I'm posting this on behalf of a family member as she wanted opinions on this situation. Two friends book a holiday (for the sake of this thread i will call them jane and Lisa) they agree that they will pay off £250 a month so that the holiday is paid off in time. Lisa keeps up with the payments but jane doesnt. lisa starts to worry and speaks to jane about it jane says she will pay it after christmas, which turns into after easter and basically keeps making excuses. Anyway 2 days before the holiday is due to be paid off Jane says she needs and extension and asks Lisa to call the holiday company (which she does and they agree to a 2 week extension.) Jane insists she wll be able to pay it off in the 2 weeks. During the 2 weeks Jane says she cant get the money and says she will get a pay day loan. She doesnt get one in the end and asks Lisa if she will loan her the money. lisa doesnt as she cant afford it, shee then asks Lisa if she has anyone who can take the place. With it being such short notice Lisa struggles to find someone but eventually does 48 hours before the deadline. Lisa tells the other friend she can have the holiday and pay off the reminder and just pay for a name change. Lisa tells Jane and Jane says she wants the other friend to pay her the money back which she had paid towards the holiday. Lisa tells Jane she has 3 options, which are she either comes on the holiday herself and finds a way to pay the remaining money, pays back the money Lisa will lose from the cancellation fees or accepts she will lose the money she had paid so far. Jane says she wants the money back in installments but the other friend has already said she wont be able to pay anymore than the out standing balance. so jane asks for it back in instalments. But the other friend is unwilling and is only able to accept the holiday at the out standing amount. Jane then says just do what you want and hasnt spoken to Lisa since. What are your opinions and who is wrong in this situation?

OP posts:
Myimaginarycathasfleas · 10/06/2018 17:31

If Jane had cancelled with 48 hrs notice she would have lost the money anyway. More to the point, so would Lisa. Was Jane planning to reimburse Lisa’s losses?

S0upertrooper · 10/06/2018 17:32

Jane 👎
Lisa 👍☀️✈️

Knittedfairies · 10/06/2018 17:46

Is Lisa your family member OP?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 10/06/2018 17:48

if the holiday was cancelled they would have lost the money already paid ... so either way jane would have lost the money if she didnt pay off the remainder

In which case Jane ought to be grateful she's only paid about 40%

I'm afraid I lost any sympathy when it turned out - not surprisingly - that she'd ask Jane to give loan her the money. With that and now expecting friend C to pay her back, she sounds a bit too keen on "other peoples' cash" for my taste

Original poster
Butterflykissess · 10/06/2018 17:50

Lisa is my relative, which is why we wanted unbiased opinions as jane hasnt spoken to her since (about a month now.) So she obviously feels Lisa is the one in the wrong.

OP posts:
Sprogletsmuvva · 10/06/2018 17:55

All those saying Jane should have been the one to find a replacement : re-RTFT. She had already asked Lisa to ask for a payment extension, which as well as saying volumes about her ability to own her own flakiness, means she probably wasn’t the lead on the booking. She asked Jane to find a replacement....and at 48 fecking hours’ notice, how much longer should Lisa have waited? (leaving aside that Lisa shouldn’t have had to face a replacement she mightn’t have chosen anyway)

Jane has had umpteen chances to do the right thing or change her mind about the holiday, from the recurrent missed payments to the 3 options Lisa gave her most recently. I would say that even the 2nd option - holiday cancelled and Jane pays the cancellation fee - is pretty bloody generous to Jane, as while Lisa then has her money back she still hasn’t got a holiday and wouldn’t be able to get a solo one at a decent price at this sort of notice .

(another vote for the ‘OP was a bit hard to read, thanks for the paragraph breaks’. To the PP who was making comments about those who found it hard needing to learn English better: thanks for the tip, but as I read and write legislation for a living and spend most days in inch-thick technical books, I don’t think I need your advice.)

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 10/06/2018 17:56

Jane is a CF. She should consider herself lucky Lisa was able to find someone to replace her. A friend worth losing by the sound of things.

fedupofit · 10/06/2018 18:00

Janes in the wrong. She should lose the money and feel like an area for causing Lisa the stress AND making her move the dates only to not come anyway. Cheeky fucker.

fedupofit · 10/06/2018 18:00

Feel like an arse! Not area

squiglet111 · 10/06/2018 18:02

If Lisa hadn't managed to find anyone to go in Jane's place then she would lose her money etc. Jane didn't help to find someone else. If Lisa hadn't told Jane she had found a replacement then Lisa would be hiding under a rock to avoid facing the consequences of Lisa losing her money and holiday too.

So Jane should be happy that she hasn't ruined the holiday and lost Lisa a lot of money. Her fault she is losing that much money. No way would Lisa have found someone to pay the full amount at short notice. Even the balance is quite a lot of money to pay.

So your relative should take no notice of Jane. Lisa has no right to feel she should get her money back

bigKiteFlying · 10/06/2018 18:04

I think Jane is a CF.

However this is why IL who go away with a group have to all book separately driectly with the company - though the can quote a discount number as part of a group booking.

The group had to set this up as they had this so often someone not paying full amount but still expecting to go or for group organiser to find someone last minute and reimburse them most if not all amount. That no longer happens.

squiglet111 · 10/06/2018 18:05

Sorry, Jane has not right...getting confused with names

Mrstumbletap · 10/06/2018 18:31

These sort of friends are so annoying, she should have just said no to the holiday in the first place. She obviously doesn’t have the money.

I think her 3 options are fair enough. Pay the rest and go, lose it all and let someone else go and stop signing up for things you can’t afford.

RiotAndAlarum · 10/06/2018 18:58

Jane doesn't really believe Lisa is wrong. Jane knows she was wrong, and knows she was trying it on with those various financial gambits. The reason she's "not talking" to Lisa is because she burned Lisa, and that would make for unpleasant conversation (for Jane) forever more!

rookiemere · 10/06/2018 19:05

It's such a toughie.

I'm in a similar suggestion - 3 of us meant to start saving an amount each month - only 2 of us paying in. Roped in another friend as well just in case non paying friend dropped out. We booked a city break - with me as lead booker - got the deposit from everyone, got full payment from the other two last week and still waiting for balance from friend.

I think she will pay - she has until 5th July to pay the balance, and if she doesn't then they'll take it from my account. It's not a huge amount - just a few hundred thankfully so we'll survive - but it is a bit annoying as I like to have things settled in advance and I don't like the thought of it hanging over me.

Ideally Lisa should have told Jane that she was going to offer the holiday at a reduced rate, but she was within her rights to do so as either Lisa loses £1190 or Jane £800 and if Lisa loses the money she does so either by paying for Jane to come in the hope she'll get her money back in instalments or by going on holiday by herself.

Branleuse · 10/06/2018 19:12

i think jane has lost the £800, which is a lot to lose, but it was stupid to book such a ridiculously expensive holiday in the first place with a mate if neither of you had the money up front. This sort of thing is just bound to happen.
If I was Lisa, id just go with Bob, and Jane can suck it up as she was flakey and didnt budget. Life lesson for her. I wouldnt even care if I never saw Jane again after all this hassle

Troels · 10/06/2018 19:13

Jane was wrong, if yu don't make all the payments you lose the holiday, luckily some one came and paid the balance, she has lost her deposit due to not paying the balance, whether it's £50 or £500 the holiday comapnt doesn't care how much you lose, she knew when it was due, her problem. Asking others for to loan it, or pay for her is cheeky fuckery. Lisa is better off without her as a friend.

frasier · 10/06/2018 19:16

I agree Jane knows she is wrong. She doesn’t give a damn however. People like her are living day to day on false promises and lies.

It’s a cliche but how do they sleep at night?

Bluntness100 · 10/06/2018 19:27

Jane is in thr wrong, she clearly needs the money she's lost, but it doesn't excuse her behaviour. From making commitments she couldn't meet, leaving everything to thr last min, letting Lisa find someone else to go, then demanding her money back. She's behaved terribly towards her friend Lisa.

TeasndToast · 10/06/2018 19:37

Jane is a silly bint.

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 10/06/2018 19:38

Lisa is better off without Jane.

Original poster
Butterflykissess · 11/06/2018 10:48

thanks for all the comments on this. I told my family member and shes glad she was right. its sad it will effect the friendship as theyve known eachother over 20 years. but this "friend" is also always asking to borrow money from lisa so i think shes better off without her.

OP posts:
Trinity66 · 11/06/2018 10:51

Jane sounds like an asshole

emmyrose2000 · 11/06/2018 11:18

Jane is completely in the wrong. She needs to just suck this up and let person C pay the balance so C can go on the holiday with Lisa.

Was Jane wasting spending her money on other things rather than making the regular payments prioritising her holiday commitment? Or did she not earn enough to start with, which should've been a sign that she couldn't afford the holiday regardless? Either way, she's fully at fault for this mess.

Even if Jane coughed up the entire amount tomorrow, then in Lisa's place I wouldn't want to have anything more to do with Jane, let alone go on holiday with her.

purplecorkheart · 11/06/2018 11:54

Lisa should not have offered the holiday for just the outstanding balance and name changed without ok it with Jane

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