To wonder why you would put your toddler in a bikini?

[GoodAfternoonSeattle]

Urgh I keep seeing these in the shops and I don’t get it.

Personally I prefer my own daughter (who is three) to be covered on the beach so that she doesn’t burn. I’d probably put her in one of those swimsuits that’s like shorts and tshirt. I’d put her in a swimming costume at an indoor pool. I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at a preschool aged child running around naked or in pants.

But I don’t understand the bikini trend for toddlers - Why does a 3 year old need something to cover their chest on the beach or at the pool??

Urgh. Why are we trying to turn our children into mini adults at every turn?

"Having breasts can be really annoying!"

Well, being negative like that about a woman's body can equally cause issues at puberty can't it.

Each to their own I guess, I am not keen on them for my own daughter. She is in and out of the water a lot and I would rather she wear a UV top and shorts to stop her from burning, she actually prefers her shorts as they are like daddys (but pink lol). I used her highest factor suncream when I was in Turkey on my shoulders, seemed to be the best waterproof one there yet I still burnt a bit when I did aqua aerobics. So I just prefer to know she is sun safe :) it's also a lot easier (and cheaper) than slapping suncream on every 5 mins.

There’s a world of difference between a sporty tankini and tiny flat triangle tops. I live in Spain and we just buy (they only sell) bottoms. We have a rash vest as she’s a bit gingery. Girls just wear bottoms right up until puberty here. Or then a swimsuit. I hate bikinis on small girls too. I also don’t like board shorts on small boys (too flappy for proper water-play!)

betty

You think your alternative situation which involves telling a child that having breasts can be annoying is good

Although I guess I (adult) often just wear the pants too, so maybe DD has less of an issue about copying mum with the top. I feel like it’s context that makes my breasts sexual, and the beach to me isn’t my boudoir of choice.. I’m aware that the culture is different here though.

Here's a solid reason not to put your small child in a bikini.

Nobody puts boys in bikinis. This means that any child a lifeguard sees in a bikini will automatically be assumed to be female. This matters because lifeguards tend (like the whole of the rest of the population) to be sexist when it comes to assessing the swimming ability of children. They will then continually ask you (in front of your child) if they are really a strong enough swimmer to be in the deep end or diving in etc.

This, after a while will undermine your child's confidence in a way that is preventable by not dressing them in overtly feminine clothing. (Also by giving lifeguards unconscious bias training...but only one of these is under your control).

My DD was allowed to swim anywhere in our local pool without drawing comment when she was 4 and wearing the batman swimming costume she chose for herself at the time. At 5 years old she chose a flowery number instead and magically overnight turned into a terrible drowning risk that caused every lifeguard we encountered to ask if she could really swim. In the end she went back to wearing the a larger batman suit...suddenly she was fine to be left alone again.

There are many ways the real world with attempt to artificially limit your girls, and dressing them in bikinis just makes it easier for that to happen.

WTF did I just read

When my dd was 3-4 she wanted to look like her mom.... bikini included !

Doesnt matter what they wear - what does matter is whether your kid is protected from the sun - please plaster up the factor 50 kids sun cream and take a parasol with you or a pop up tent for a bit of shade - little ones wont be able to tell you they feel ill when they get too much sun. It makes me cringe when i see someone with a little kid - no suncream, no shade and they wonder why the poor thing is screaming with a headache 2 hours later their skin needs so much more protection than an adults.

How is it different to little boys wearing shirts and hair to look like Daddy rather than comfy practical clothes?

Because "hair like daddy" is usually comfortable and practical.

And shirts like daddy usually aren't uncomfortable or impractical either. (Well, depends on the colour, fabric etc...)

It's best to do whatever helps them fit in more. So bikini is probably the way to do that now otherwise they might look uncool.

Ok, so using the word annoying was wrong. I should of said breasts can flap around when you want to run and do cartwheels. My bad.

People don't ask this question about a one piece suit even though there's still no need to cover a young girls chest.

i dont think most bikinis are sexualised. Certainly not childrens ones.
Of course you CAN get sexy bikinis, but a lot of them are just practical swim/beach wear. I wish people would stop sexualising normal clothes.
Its not little girls fault that every fucking thing a woman wears except maybe a burka has actually been sexualised by someone - because they see females themselves as sexualised beings. Even little girls

I went on holiday to Tunisia with some friends one year. Some of these friends were French mothers and I was surprised to learn that they thought it very unhealthy for small girls to run around in a cold wind with a wet swimsuit against their stomachs after swimming, and they all thought a bikini or nothing on top was a much healthier option!

In fact most little girls clothes have been sexualised /sexied up for adults too. You cant win

That’s such a good point Rainydaydog - if it’s simply about not believing a little girls’ chest needs to be covered then why no fuss about putting them in a one piece cossie? I don’t see how a kids’ bikini is less comfy or practical than a one piece. People are reading thier own sexualised imagery into bikinis and then projecting that. I think it’s also very telling that people have talked about bikinis as chavvy - pure snobbery.

Good points @Rainy and @Herma ... it proves that it’s all more to do with how people perceive these garments in their own minds. Bikinis are seen as sexier whereas one pieces less so ( depends who’s wearing it I suppose). Nothing to do with covering of the chest as they both do.
A toddler therefore should be able to wear a bikini ... and if anyone sees that as sexy it’s down to their own sick psychology surely ?

You know I was just imagining how I felt when I was a little girl if I was just wearing my bikini bottoms. At some point I started feeling vulnerable. All the females my age and older seemed to have their tops covered. I didnt. I wondered what was wrong with me to be different.

Interesting comment about a cold wet cossie on the tummy re the french mothers comments about it being not good for you.