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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why you would put your toddler in a bikini?

195 replies

GoodAfternoonSeattle · 09/06/2018 23:15

Urgh I keep seeing these in the shops and I don’t get it.

Personally I prefer my own daughter (who is three) to be covered on the beach so that she doesn’t burn. I’d probably put her in one of those swimsuits that’s like shorts and tshirt. I’d put her in a swimming costume at an indoor pool. I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at a preschool aged child running around naked or in pants.

But I don’t understand the bikini trend for toddlers - Why does a 3 year old need something to cover their chest on the beach or at the pool??

Urgh. Why are we trying to turn our children into mini adults at every turn?

OP posts:
Moonkissedlegs · 10/06/2018 10:01

Just wear a UV suit, or at least bikini bottoms and a rash vest. I can't be arsed with constantly worrying if I have caked their backs and fronts in enough suncream!

Processedpea · 10/06/2018 10:02

We have this thread every year Grin

Buggeredpelvicfloor2013 · 10/06/2018 10:07

My problem is with clothing that looks as though its been designed with an adult in mind.... Such as skimpy triangle bikini tops, shoes for toddlers with 3 inch heels. Its not nice that we have to think about the way people look at our children but unfortunately there are a lot of sick fucks in this world and it's a sign of the times that we have to think about what are kids wear, what they do, where they go a lot more than ever before. It's sad.

gamerwidow · 10/06/2018 10:08

Yes bikini tops are unnecessary and boys don’t wear them but by that argument so are swimming costumes yet no one is getting in a lather about girls wearing them and boys not.
If you think a bikini top sexualises a child then frankly you have bigger problems than the choice of swimwear to worry about.

Oogie · 10/06/2018 10:14

My dd wears a bikini top because it apparently makes her look like Ariel. Even if she didn’t feel like that, she would probably insist on wearing the top anyway as she is a big of a stickler for things matching

IfNot · 10/06/2018 10:14

I had a bikini aged 3 or 4. It was red with a white frill and I loved it. I just liked looking like my mum and my auntie.
Took me 30 years to feel comfortable enough with my body to wear one again, so I'm glad I did.
It's just a swimsuit, there's nothing sinister about it!

BuntyCollocks · 10/06/2018 10:17

Because they want to? HTH.

Can’t believe people actually give a shit about what other people dress their kids in. You do you. Jesus Christ.

IfNot · 10/06/2018 10:21

Wow just read some of the comments..I don't actually think a small bikini is "a titillating outfit designed for male pleasure" or whatever! I think some women get the smallest bikini style to get the maximum tan! In Spain I saw ladies of 60+ in teeny bikinis basking in the sun and I don't think they were trying to be objects of male desire.
And I agree if you find a 4 year old in a bikini sexy it's you that has the problem..

sparklydust · 10/06/2018 10:23

I personally think the age appropriate ones look really cute. My DD loves them and doesn't see any difference between them or a full swimsuit.

It's the adults who are overtly sexualising them. In reality, they are just a swimming costume IMO Confused

SerenDippitty · 10/06/2018 10:23

I saw ladies of 60+ in teeny bikinis basking in the sun and I don't think they were trying to be objects of male desire.

You think 60 is too old to still be interested in men Grin!

IfNot · 10/06/2018 10:55

You think 60 is too old to still be interested in men grin!

Of course I don't. I meant that they were sat with a fat book and a fag, sprawled accross a sun lounger and clearly not giving a shit what anyone thought, as opposed to posing and hair flicking at the lifeguards like the teenagers were!

Ruffian · 10/06/2018 11:07

Funny how people will get defensive and see no problem with tiny children wearing bikini tops but get in a lather about little girls wearing the hijab. Parents of girls wearing hijab make the same arguments about them being too young to understand and they just want to copy their mum.

In both cases little girls are being given the idea that parts of their bodies need to be covered, that's the issue.

mostdays · 10/06/2018 11:13

From now on, everything you plan to dress your dc in should be posted online for a bunch of strangers to judge as acceptable or not.
I only have sons, but if I did have a daughter I don't think a bikini would be on my radar for her until she was old enough to ask for one. Even so, I cba being snobby and up my own arse about other parents choosing differently. As long as the dc are wearing sufficient sunscreen who really cares?

gamerwidow · 10/06/2018 11:13

ruffian I don’t care about either issue there’s no double standards.
What are you feelings on swim suits because they also cover the nipples. Are you saying boys and girls should both wear trunks otherwise girls will get the wrong ideas about their bodies?

SerenDippitty · 10/06/2018 11:17

*You think 60 is too old to still be interested in men grin!

Of course I don't. I meant that they were sat with a fat book and a fag, sprawled accross a sun lounger and clearly not giving a shit what anyone thought, as opposed to posing and hair flicking at the lifeguards like the teenagers were!*

Fair enough!

Re bikinis the one I wore in the 60s had a little skirt on the bottom, and the top was a cropped vest thing. I do think bra type bikini tops on toddlers are a bit off.

Rachie1973 · 10/06/2018 11:17

GoodAfternoonSeattle
Urgh I keep seeing these in the shops and I don’t get it.

Why do you need to 'get it'. You don't like them, don't buy them. Move on.

Why worry about other peoples choices?

I've never ever bought a bikini, for me or my kids or my grandkids..... because I don't like them. I don't analyse that choice though!

wastingtimeontinternet · 10/06/2018 11:21

You're asking the wrong question. It shouldn't be why but why not?

Anyway from my experience it's because the little one asked for one so she could be just like her, much adored, older cousins.

Branleuse · 10/06/2018 11:22

I don't really care what sort of swim suits a 3 year old wears.

EspressoButler · 10/06/2018 11:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BettyBaggins · 10/06/2018 11:25

Bikinis have been depicted in history for thousands of years, reinvented in 1940's.

I loved my bikini. I remember feeling a bit vulnerable around age 8/9 not wearing the top when girls a few years older were. One piece swimsuit was a pain for the loo and was uncomfy.

Timeisslipingaway · 10/06/2018 11:35

Bikinis are for covering breast. Children under the age of 9 usually haven't got to the point of developing breast (although some do) so I don't really see the point. I wouldn't think it strange to see a little girl of 5 running about with no top on boys do. Not sire why they would wear something specifically designed to cover boobs when there is nothing to cover.

I worry more about the 14 year old girls I see walking home from school with skirts that are barley covering their arse. If they bend slightly they expose the lot!

Timeisslipingaway · 10/06/2018 11:37

BettyBaggins
Agreed though, from the age of around 7bi don't think would have been comfortable wearing nothing on top.

dudsville · 10/06/2018 11:40

I saw your thread title and came on to say this. The first swimming costume I remember having was of a union jack theme, the top part was the flag and the bottom part, I think, was just big blue pants. The top part of like a tank top but shorter. I LOVED that cossie. Looking back now I don't think it was inappropriate, if anything my parents must have been grateful to find clothes I was willing to keep on. I doubt very much that I looked like a mini-adult!

robotcartrainhat · 10/06/2018 11:46

YABU its just for fun... I mean why dress a toddler in any gendered clothing? theres no real reason to other than some toddlers like it and might pick those things themselves because its like what mummy wears. If your toddler likes a certain swimsuit then id just get it.
My son sometimes chooses things which he says are like what daddy wears and hes 3... so I imagine with a daughter its similar and she might like a bikini like mummy has.

crayoladreamz · 10/06/2018 12:44

YANBU

little girls wearing the top half of a bikini is sexualised and unnecessary. Either put them in a full swimsuit or just the bottoms.