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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why you would put your toddler in a bikini?

195 replies

GoodAfternoonSeattle · 09/06/2018 23:15

Urgh I keep seeing these in the shops and I don’t get it.

Personally I prefer my own daughter (who is three) to be covered on the beach so that she doesn’t burn. I’d probably put her in one of those swimsuits that’s like shorts and tshirt. I’d put her in a swimming costume at an indoor pool. I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at a preschool aged child running around naked or in pants.

But I don’t understand the bikini trend for toddlers - Why does a 3 year old need something to cover their chest on the beach or at the pool??

Urgh. Why are we trying to turn our children into mini adults at every turn?

OP posts:
insomuchpain · 10/06/2018 20:09

FADS*

Didiplanthis · 10/06/2018 20:12

Yes - rather than my blueish white to lobster at the first sign of sun to peeling to blueush white again complexion... my children have my complexion with added red hair. Marvellous....

Racecardriver · 10/06/2018 20:16

Meh, I wonder why you would put anyone in a bikini. They are hideous on everyone. Without excrption absolutely anyone would look better naked than they would in a bikini. Ditto for a proper swimming costume. One or the other people,by wearing a bikini you just look tasteless.

dancinfeet · 10/06/2018 20:58

I remember being on holiday abroad with my eldest many years ago and she wore a tankini. Quite a few of the other toddlers at the pool were wearing those covering sun suits and they looked so restricted and downright uncomfortable and quite a few were grumpy and wailing, DD had on lots of waterproof sun cream, sun hat and a tankini and she was comfy and happy. As others have said, it does also make it easier to take a toddler to the loo in wet swimwear.

peoplearemean · 10/06/2018 21:03

Generally I prefer the UV sunsuits for ease (laziness) of not having to cover in sunscreen. However bikinis are good as it helps with going to the toilet. I prefer bikinis to normal swimsuit. Especially if they are having an "I need a poo" (and not going) kind of day. I prefer a bikini too on them to no top personally I prefer the nips covered. Someone will tell me I am sexualising my child now but personally I just prefer that part covered.

Laurel543 · 10/06/2018 22:23

@peoplearemean
Ok I’ll do it.
Yes, you are sexualising your child
Think about it. Why are you uncomfortable with her ‘nips’ showing if not in a sexual context?
Why do you think that these body parts should be covered on a very young child?

everygalaxy · 10/06/2018 22:28

I had a bikini as a child for holiday swimming - loved it because it was like dressing up and less restrictive than a swimsuit. It was also my costume in a school play.
Oh for those days of confidence.

peoplearemean · 10/06/2018 22:29

@Laurel543 I just prefer them covered up from the point of view you don't know who is looking. Now some may say a bikini sexualises and draws more attention perhaps, well if someone is sick enough to do so over a Trolls/Peppa Pig bikini there is not a lot I can do to stop that, in my mind at least they can't see certain parts properly. My child, my choice. And as I said they are generally in UV sunsuits but for the point of the thread I don't see anything wrong in a bikini and would far rather that than just bottoms.

Laurel543 · 10/06/2018 22:58

@peoplearemean
No, you still haven’t got it I’m afraid.
It isn’t the bikini itself that sexualises a child and it has absolutely nothing to do with the bikini ‘drawing attention’

The bit where you are sexualising her is your personal feeling that there is anything to cover up in the first place. This shows a belief that female nipples are sexual no matter how old you are.
You are sexualising her body by putting her in a bikini. Sorry because I know that sounds harsh but this is what a lot of people on this thread feel when they see a small child in a bikini top. That the parents/caregivers must see her chest as sexual and in need of covering. That makes us sad.
Does that explain it better?

peoplearemean · 10/06/2018 23:03

@Laurel543 nope. Clearly I'm thick but you're the one who thinks there's something wrong with a bikini. And yes I'm British my kids have been to the beach and run around naked. I just happen to prefer a bikini on them.

Laurel543 · 10/06/2018 23:21

Okey doke then. You crack on.

QueenUnicorn · 10/06/2018 23:34

Because when you buy a 2 piece for toiletting reasons, it's easier to put the whole thing on her than explain why they should only use half of it. Let them wear the top half if they want to, who cares?

It's just a bit random to say full top and shorts = fine, no top = fine, smaller top = ergh no that's horrendous! Or to say it's fine to wear both halves of a rash suit, or PJs, but a 2 piece swimsuit, no they must only wear half or they'll be Different From Boys!

TBF I chose tankinis for DD at that age, probably for similar reasons to you OP. But with hindsight, meh. Save the judginess for more important stuff, I say.

Totally agree with this. A two piece is much more practical than a costume, however if the child wants to wear both pieces then there's no harm in letting them. Equally no harm in just wearing the bottoms. My daughter wore trunks for a while but loved to wear her bikini top when she got one. There's no reason to not let them wear it, unless it's like a breast shaped padded bra then it's not going to make them look like an adult.

italiancortado · 11/06/2018 00:00

Only on Mumsnet are people accused of sexualising their own child because they let them wear a bikini.

Fucksake.

Mass headwobble required here Hmm

OverTheHedgeHammy · 11/06/2018 00:30

So what age do you think a girl should wear the top half of a 2 piece swim suit? 5? 8? 10? 13?

At school my DSs are taught that the chest area for girls is a 'no touch' area. I think it's a heck of a lot easier for that to sink in if it's taught from an early age. A two piece/bikini is one of the ways of teaching that.

Usernameunknown2 · 11/06/2018 07:10

A no touch area? Im intrigued how they do that eithout making the girls think its wrong to touch their own breasts or allow a partner too when older.

Slarti · 11/06/2018 07:16

Why does a three year old girl need to cover her chest?

Why is this specific to bikinis? T shirts and other clothing covers their chest, should they not wear those either?

Usernameunknown2 · 11/06/2018 08:24

I dint think they do need to wear any of that unless its for warmth or to cover up from the sun...but im happy to let the babies run around in nappies.

JellyBears · 11/06/2018 08:29

It’s vile goes up there with pierced ears, heels and Make up on small children.

Fulltimemummy85 · 11/06/2018 13:53

Hate little bikinis, I would rather they ran round in pants. I personally want to keep my daughters little as long as possible, string bikinis are pointless. If you want a 2 piece put them in a 2 piece sun suit.

bonbonours · 11/06/2018 14:09

Of course the top half is redundant but no more so than the top half of a one piece swimsuit. Other unnecessary or pointless clothing includes dresses for baby girls, trousers with a fly fastening for children in nappies, the list goes on. People choose them because they look cute. A 3 year old in a bikini dies not look sexy unless there is something seriously wrong with your head. As others have said there are many reasons why people choose bikinis for toddlers, ease of toileting, because the child liked it or it had their favourite character on it, because the parent thought it was cute, because it was easier to change in and out of. Frankly it is none of your business, and if you think 3 year olds are being sexualised, wonder if it is by you!

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/06/2018 14:21

bonbon
You put that so much better than I was able. 👏. Personally I think they look cute and it is the adults, who have a problem at seeing a bikini as sexualised.

ScaredPAD · 11/06/2018 14:42

I think they look awful. Like jelly it's up there in my mind with babies ear piercing, makeup on small children and babies in uncomfortable clothes to look "cute." People are welcome to do all those things though!

KERALA1 · 11/06/2018 15:04

I agree with Laurel. Just no.

Those all in one things middle class families make their small kids wear on the beach are pretty ridiculous too. Mine rebelled against them on the beach in Sardinia, all the other kids running round free in bikini bottoms mine trussed up in black UV swimwear. Daft I see now.

Aroundtheworldandback · 11/06/2018 15:13

For the same reason that you would put any item of clothing on your toddler I guess.. because you think they look nice?

WingsOnMyBoots · 11/06/2018 16:45

You think 60 is too old to still be interested in men

"Of course I don't. I meant that they were sat with a fat book and a fag, sprawled accross a sun lounger and clearly not giving a shit what anyone thought, as opposed to posing and hair flicking at the lifeguards like the teenagers were!!

If my 60s is gonna be this much fun, roll on!

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