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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

If you witnessed someone being attacked, would you try and help?

113 replies

Frosty66612 · 09/06/2018 08:43

Saw an old documentary last night about Lee Rigby and the people who stepped in to try and help him during the attack.
It got me thinking if I would be brave enough to do anything If I witnessed such a brutal attack that had weapons involved. I honestly don’t know if I would though as i’d be so terrified :-(
Would you try and help?

OP posts:

NinaCopita · 09/06/2018 08:46

I don't think anyone can answer this honestly until they've been in that situation themselves.

hidinginthenightgarden · 09/06/2018 08:46

I saw a woman screaming at someone to get off her (I was inside), looked like she had been hit by her partner and she was holding a young baby. I grabbed my phone and ran outside to help. Police beat me to it but I went to help. Not sure how brave I would be of knives were involved. Before having kids I wouldn’t have though twice about jumping in but now I would be more cautious.

BakedBeans47 · 09/06/2018 08:47

I’d like to think I would, but in a case as extreme as that where they had machetes etc I don’t know if I’d be too frightened.

My husband definitely would though, I know he would

BifsWif · 09/06/2018 08:48

We once intervened when we saw a man beating a woman up in the street.

My husband was quite badly injured, I think if it happened again I’d call the police from a safe distance.

ApplesTheHare · 09/06/2018 08:48

I did once and didn't once, if that makes sense. I'm glad I did as it helped a lady escape a forced marriage. She was being dragged off the street in broad daylight by a man who said that was fine as he was her husband.

I still wonder what happened in the other case. A prostitute was brutally attacked by three men and I was too scared to get involved. I could hear sirens so didn't even call the police. I still wonder what happened to her.

SimonBridges · 09/06/2018 08:49

I’ve not seen anything as brutal as that, but I have stepped in with less violent attacks.

I was in a coffee shop when a guy who was most likely drunk and on drugs started attacking the woman behind the counter.
Every other person there just stood and watched. I was literally the only person who waded in. Once I started a couple of big blokes helped but most people just watched. This was before mobile phones so it wasn’t a case of them calling the police.

Original poster

Frosty66612 · 09/06/2018 08:50

I think the strangers who tried to help in situations like the Lee Rigby case and the Jo Cox case are amazingly brave

OP posts:

GetInMyNelly · 09/06/2018 08:51

To be fair it's adrenaline. The whole fight or flight.

Literally no one can know until the situation happens.

SoddingUnicorns · 09/06/2018 08:51

It would depend on the situation, if I had my children with me, no, I would call for help and get my kids away.
Again, I’d love to say I’d be brave enough (if I didn’t have my kids with me) to step in if there was weapons, but honestly, I just don’t know. I wouldn’t walk by and do nothing, I’d call the police/ambulance and try to make a fuss, but running in, I just don’t know. DP and BIL would, but they’re ex army and can handle themselves.

A fight without weapons, I have stepped in, a few times. And I recently had to split up a fight outside a court! But I knew one of them and it was her that I grabbed (she was the aggressor) to get her out of it.

I think the people who helped Lee Rigby were very very brave indeed, particularly the woman (I can’t remember her name, I’m sorry) who tried to reason with them. Incredibly selfless and brave.

Rachie1973 · 09/06/2018 08:52

I have waded in at 8 months pregnant. I know I probably shouldn't have but it was instinct. I've done it a few times since as well. I can't help myself :(

SinkGirl · 09/06/2018 08:52

I have once, years ago, and ended up badly injured - no weapons involved though. I’m not sure if I could do it again, but in those situations personally my brain turns off and I act before I think. Years after that, part of our building was on fire and there were people shouting a child’s name thinking he was inside. My husband had to stop me going back in. Now I have children I would probably be more anxious about getting involved.

Original poster

Frosty66612 · 09/06/2018 08:53

I once got beaten up by a gang of girls when I was 13 and was badly injured. There were passers by and people driving past but no one stopped. I hate to think that no one bothered to help me, but if I put myself in their shoes I’m not sure i’d be rushing to help either as i’d not want to get hurt myself. I’d definitely phone the police though

OP posts:

Buzzlightyearsbumchin · 09/06/2018 08:56

I did once and got 3 days in hospital for my troubles so I'm not sure I would again if I'm honest.

SoupDragon · 09/06/2018 08:56

I don’t think I would intervene physically but I would definitely call the police and make sure I was there to help afterwards. There is just too much knife crime about now. I wouldn’t just ignore an attack though.

ToffeeNosed · 09/06/2018 08:57

There was a story a couple of days ago of two business men leaving a tube carriage when a woman was being kicked.

www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/fashion-ceo-attacked-on-tube-condemns-male-passengers-who-walked-away-and-failed-to-defend-her-a3856306.html

jaseyraex · 09/06/2018 08:58

A few years ago, before DC came along, my DH tried to help a teenage boy who was being beat up by a big gang of other boys. Of course they all turned on him and he was really badly injured. They were stamping on his head, knocked him unconscious. A passing police car made the gang run off. Both the teenage boy and my DH were fine in the end after short hospital stays. A couple of the gang got caught but only one got a sentence of over six months because he was in possession of a knife when the police caught him. The rest basically got a slap on the wrist. DH has said he wouldn't intervene in anything like that again now that we've got kids. I know I wouldn't either.

tierraJ · 09/06/2018 08:59

I did stop some drunk travellers from beating up a local barman - luckily even though they were drunk they wouldn't beat me up as I'm a woman so they walked away.

Deandre · 09/06/2018 09:01

There very brave, I wouldn’t. I’d like to think that I would help, but when it came to the crunch I do t think I’d physically jump in, I wouldn’t want to put myself at risk...not for me but for my kids, there still young and need me.

Curlywurlywurly · 09/06/2018 09:02

I remember watching the Boston Marathon bomb footage and watching how many people ran towards the chaos rather than away.

I think I would be one of those people, but then again I am a HCP so maybe it attracts a certain type of fight rather than flight person? Who knows....?

SinisterBumFacedCat · 09/06/2018 09:02

I saw a man get jumped on and beaten to the ground in front of my car whilst sat at the traffic lights. I didn't intervene but I put my horn on full blast and that seemed to scare the gang of lads off. It was over in seconds, I helped him to the pavement and then loads of other witnesses were there too. He was ok and insisted he didn't want police I wonder if he knew his attackers. I remember that my boyfriend (ex) was with me and I was oddly more worried about protecting him from the thugs than myself, I used to go out clubbing a lot back then and had witnessed several men beating up men I thought my boyfriend would be the next target if they saw him rather than myself.

ReadytoTalk · 09/06/2018 09:03

I wouldn't. Id call the police from a distance and offer myself as a witness but i wouldn't physically place myself in danger to protect someone i dont know unless the risk to myself was very low. I think most people think the same as me.

SweetCheeks1980 · 09/06/2018 09:04

I did once when I was 15. A bunch of lads were picking on a younger girl (about 13) and I waded in a stopped them.

And again a few years ago when a lad was throwing stones at a pigeon. I asked him if he'd like to start on something bigger (ie me) and I got a torrent of abuse and then he realised I was still in his face and backed down.

Original poster

Frosty66612 · 09/06/2018 09:05

I don’t know if i’d maybe be braver if it was someone very vulnerable being brutally attacked like an elderly person, young child or animal.
I think i’d Probably still just hide round the corner and phone the police and then wait to help once they arrived though.

OP posts:

SouthWestmom · 09/06/2018 09:10

I have and would. I can't help myself.

Three times. First time the victim was not thrilled or grateful.

I think it's b cause I read a news article about a girl murdered at night and neighbours had heard screams but didn't even look outside or investigate. It left me with a sense of what if .

Deux · 09/06/2018 09:13

I’d like to think I would do the right thing and try to help wherever possible. But who knows what would happen in the heat of the moment.

I do know though, that if my loved one was being attacked or in trouble that I would hope that someone would intervene. So morally I feel that if that is what I’d want then I need to be prepared to do the same.

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