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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To object to being spoken to like this?

59 replies

Twattymctwattface · 08/06/2018 23:09

And would you allow them to work for you after this?

Speaking to someone (male) today regarding some works they have been engaged to do at my home. I'm not a delicate flower. I have done a job for many years requiring me to deal with all manner of people and I consider I know how to talk to others and conduct myself.

So, conversation kicks off with him asking if I'm available on a particular date. Then launching into a spiel about how he needs to come and check a schedule of works (that he did!) is right. Which makes no sense, but ok...

Then he snaps at me 'so are you sorting out X task or what? - YOU need to get that sorted'

This is something his firm were meant to be arranging for me, getting samples for me to pick from. I remind him of this and he says it's not possible to get samples (blatant lie) 'so YOU'LL need to sort it yourself right? It's down to you - IF you want the job done'

I politely express surprise and say that's not what I was led to believe or my experience. 'Oh REALLY?...so what's YOUR experience then?' sarky tone.

At this point I said I didn't feel the conversation was very helpful and that we should both speak to the company who engaged him/ his company. After commenting that I obviously wasn't going to tell him my experience was I?(sneery tone) we ended the call.

I later spoke with someone at the other company. Their response was to tell me oh his manners just a bit abrupt.

To me this went a long way beyond abrupt and was outright rude. I really don't want his company doing the work. But if I don't use them I've been told it will be a 4-6 week wait to get someone else in! So I'm over a barrel really and now have no confidence in his firm to do the job to a decent standard.

I'm also annoyed that anyone considers it acceptable to talk like that. It's like when people use the 'oh they just say it how it is' which 9 times out of 10 is just an excuse for complete rudeness.

I highly doubt he would have spoken to a man like that either. So AIBU?

OP posts:
CheeseyToast · 08/06/2018 23:11

He's a jerk. I'd want to get a different company

LadyLoveYourWhat · 08/06/2018 23:12

No, YANBU. Fuck 'em. I'd just resign myself to another 4-6 weeks and send a message that this is not acceptable.

Jonbb · 08/06/2018 23:13

Course not. Vote with your feet!

Flowerpotbicycle · 08/06/2018 23:13

Nope 👋🏻 Off you fuck, rude workman.
I wouldn’t trust him to complete the job how I want if that’s his attitude

frasier · 08/06/2018 23:14

He’ll be even worse if you employ him. Can’t you wait the extra time?

SimonTheIceKing · 08/06/2018 23:17

I'd rather wait than deal with that attitude in my house everyday.

Twattymctwattface · 08/06/2018 23:19

The work is half done and it will be massively inconvenient to delay for another 4-6 weeks before the next phase starts. Especially as this has been going on for 3 months, and the next phase will take 4-6 weeks from start date anyway.

I feel I am being pressured by the person at the other co making out it's not personal, he's always like that. So then if I refuse to use him I look unreasonable.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 08/06/2018 23:20

No way would I have this company in my home and I'd tell them exactly why, too.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 08/06/2018 23:20

No way would I give them the business! Cancel and tell them why!! Imagine having him in your house while the work was being done! And you couldn’t sack him half way through as you’d be left in a mess and no-one wants to finish someone else’s half done work. I’d just wait the 4-6 weeks for professionals.

TemptressofWaikiki · 08/06/2018 23:20

Go to a different company. This really does not bode well when clear agreements are already being broken at this stage. You really can't trust them. Plus, I would not pay anyone that was this rude to me from the onset. You may worry about a wait but who knows how much you will be let down by such an unprofessional outfit.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 08/06/2018 23:20

Oh shit, you’re already half done! Eek. Any chance they can send someone else?

Twattymctwattface · 08/06/2018 23:21

The compromise they're proposing is he doesn't speak to me again and doesn't deal with it day to day.

Apparently his comment was that I was too 'difficult' and he didn't want to do the job now as I clearly wouldn't be happy. Fucking arsehole.

I'm reluctant to line his pockets but I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMouser · 08/06/2018 23:22

I’d wait. If you use them they’ll do a crap job.

LeighaJ · 08/06/2018 23:25

It's not unreasonable to not want it finished with that company because he's a jerkface and they don't care.

Domino20 · 08/06/2018 23:25

Don't use his services, you already know in your gut you'll regret it!

Twattymctwattface · 08/06/2018 23:26

It's tempting to find someone myself as I know I can get a plasterer (that's the next step) to come in well before 4 weeks. But then apparently they will need to submit quotes and that process will take weeks.

I'm furious he spoke to me how he did. What makes it worse is this is a fairly big building co. It's not Fred the one man band plasterer (not that it would be acceptable if it was).

OP posts:
Studyinghell · 08/06/2018 23:26

Even if it was 4/6 months I’d wait. No way would I back down after that

MrsTommyBanks · 08/06/2018 23:27

Oh please wait the 4 weeks.

Twattymctwattface · 08/06/2018 23:29

I feel I've been coerced into giving in. The comment was well if we use company B rather than this arsegole company you'll be waiting at least 4-6 weeks and you want to progress this don't you? I've been leant on to agree and my newness to get it finished has been played on.

OP posts:
frasier · 08/06/2018 23:31

Why would they want their payment hanging for another month+? Say no and I bet they find someone quicker.

Singlenotsingle · 08/06/2018 23:32
Sad
Twattymctwattface · 08/06/2018 23:32

Sorry keenness not newness!

I think I will have to go elsewhere. I can't help but feel let down. I can't trust this guy. He's a liar. His company do many thousands of pounds work for the main company. Fuck knows how if this is how he does business, it seems like he calls the shots.

What a bloody PITA this is.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 08/06/2018 23:32

Why don't you go higher, right to the top of the organisation and make a massive complaint? If you don't have to deal with that twat again, or the person who was an apologist for him, would that work?

MrsElijahMikaelson · 08/06/2018 23:33

I would cut my nose off to spite my face.

Yes it will be a pain in the arse to wait another 4-6 weeks but it will do no harm.
Where as if you take your custom elsewhere, the company and the twat will know they allow their staff to conduct themselves like he had done.

KarinVogel · 08/06/2018 23:33

I would rather cut my own arm off than give work to an insolent tosser like him. I would make sure the Ceo knew why I wasnt continuing with the firm too.